I've been meaning to mention this guy for a while.
Maybe the greatest stage racer you never heard of, Gilles Delion. He had the misfortune of coming into prominence at exactly the same time that EPO hit the peleton.
I love this quote from Verbruggen, who was always SHOCKED !!! that anyone would suggest riders were taking EPO. Anyone claiming that was just sour graped (take note Lemond haters)
In the Team of the 1/17/1997 , Hein Verbruggen, then President of UCI, said in connection with declarations of Gilles Delion implying that many runners are doped with EPO:
" I am not impressed at all by testimonys of runners like Delion or (Graham) Obree which are people in end of a career, who cannot follow the group any more. I find that release, I do not have an other mot."
Other guys who were nutso losers whos careers ended because they were making up stuff about drug use:
Chirstophe Bassons
Jesus Manzono
Filippo Simeoni - His career didn't end, he just went into anonymity until a certain other rider retired and the sport cleaned up a bit. Then he won a National Championship in Italy.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Eddy Planckaert
Eddy Planckaert was one of a family of bicycle racers who, after the death of their father, were racing to put food on the family table.
Since retiring from cycling Eddy Plankaert has lead a tulmuluous existance. He's been broke, homeless, and suicidal. I read an interview where he talked seriously about lashing himself to a pier at low tide then throwing the key into the ocean. The quote was , " After you threw the key away and the tide started coming in...then you'd really know something." For some reason that quote always stuck with me.
In recent years, Plankaert and his family have become "The Obornes" ( remember them) of Belgium. For 4-5 seasons a television crew has followed them as they've lived in a teepee and set out on a variety of adventures. Eddy's son is an aspiring race car driver, his other son is an actor and race three years as a profession cyclist, and his daughter Stephanie is a pop star. Eddy gets himself drunk and causes trouble across Flandia.
The Plankaerts continue to stay involved in the world of cycling. Eddy's brothers were great racers and now Walter won Flanders, Willy won the Tour's green jersey. Their sons have seen some success with the aforementioned Francesco having a brief carreer and Jo Plankaert winning Kerne-Brussle-Kerne and getting second in Paris-Roubix. The newest to try his hand is Baptiste Plankaert who has been realizing some success in the amateur ranks.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I was inspired by the Swashbuckler jersey.
I rode the last two laps off the front last night, part of the way by myself and then with some scragly dude in a 1980s performance jersey he bought from craigslist, who bridged up to me.
The kid was friggin hammering...just killing me. Just before the last corner, with the group breathing down our necks, I told him that to settle down and that if we got to the line, that he could have the win. Instead of calming him down it got him all excited and the kid just busted a move after I took a pull.
We went through the final corner with him 50 yards ahead of me and turned right into a block headwind. I sat up and waited for the group. Three guys caught me and I latched onto the back. First guy pulled and died, second guy pulled and died, Third guy sprinted and caught the kid 50 yards from the finish line. They were both pretty much standing still when I started to sprint.
I felt bad for the kid, he was pretty bummed out, but effem...all bets were off when he dropped me.
Anyway I know its a B race, but I'm pretty happy. Its one thing to ride around and then out snooker those guys. But being able to ride off tells me that I'm finally starting to get a little bit of fitness.
I rode the last two laps off the front last night, part of the way by myself and then with some scragly dude in a 1980s performance jersey he bought from craigslist, who bridged up to me.
The kid was friggin hammering...just killing me. Just before the last corner, with the group breathing down our necks, I told him that to settle down and that if we got to the line, that he could have the win. Instead of calming him down it got him all excited and the kid just busted a move after I took a pull.
We went through the final corner with him 50 yards ahead of me and turned right into a block headwind. I sat up and waited for the group. Three guys caught me and I latched onto the back. First guy pulled and died, second guy pulled and died, Third guy sprinted and caught the kid 50 yards from the finish line. They were both pretty much standing still when I started to sprint.
I felt bad for the kid, he was pretty bummed out, but effem...all bets were off when he dropped me.
Anyway I know its a B race, but I'm pretty happy. Its one thing to ride around and then out snooker those guys. But being able to ride off tells me that I'm finally starting to get a little bit of fitness.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
weird
Last year the World Series of Poker made an annoucement that they were going to double the number of chips that you got to start any of their tournaments.So if you paid $3000 to enter, you were going to get $6000 in starting chips.
This was supposed to provide a bigger incentive to get people to attend.
The thing is, they also doubled the blinds. To the uninitiated what that means is that they doubled the ammt you needed in order to play each hand. This is like telling someone that you're going to charge them half price for a 4 slice pizza. BFD.
Beyond the transparent stupidity of it all, I didn't understand it from a marketing perspective. There are two types of poker players...math nuts and degenerate gamblers. Creating a illogical system like this was only going to annoy the math guys. And the degen guys don't care how many chips they get to start, they're shoving them in the middle anyway. I just didn't get it and in the end it didn't have an effect on how many people participated.
Yesterday the WSOP announced that they're doing it again. The announcement read that they're TRIPPLING! what you get for your buy-in this year. So a $1000 buy-in gets $3000 in chips. BUT...
From Cardplayer.com:
With 150,000 in starting chips in 2009, the blinds will start at 400-800, as opposed to 300-600 from last year.
The other obvious effect of all of this are all the zeros. 400-800 with 150,000 ??!?! Why not 40-80 with 15,000 ? I mean the way they have it, at the end of the tourney guys are saying, " I raise you eleventy-billion.....re-raise".
Its absurd. But somewhere I hear someone saying, " These go to eleven "
This was supposed to provide a bigger incentive to get people to attend.
The thing is, they also doubled the blinds. To the uninitiated what that means is that they doubled the ammt you needed in order to play each hand. This is like telling someone that you're going to charge them half price for a 4 slice pizza. BFD.
Beyond the transparent stupidity of it all, I didn't understand it from a marketing perspective. There are two types of poker players...math nuts and degenerate gamblers. Creating a illogical system like this was only going to annoy the math guys. And the degen guys don't care how many chips they get to start, they're shoving them in the middle anyway. I just didn't get it and in the end it didn't have an effect on how many people participated.
Yesterday the WSOP announced that they're doing it again. The announcement read that they're TRIPPLING! what you get for your buy-in this year. So a $1000 buy-in gets $3000 in chips. BUT...
From Cardplayer.com:
With 150,000 in starting chips in 2009, the blinds will start at 400-800, as opposed to 300-600 from last year.
The other obvious effect of all of this are all the zeros. 400-800 with 150,000 ??!?! Why not 40-80 with 15,000 ? I mean the way they have it, at the end of the tourney guys are saying, " I raise you eleventy-billion.....re-raise".
Its absurd. But somewhere I hear someone saying, " These go to eleven "
Monday, March 09, 2009
The big trip
Saturday night I was schedule to go to my niece's birthday party in Philly. The family was excited and wanted to stay overnight. I agreed under the condition that everyone needed to get up in the morning as I had a bike race on Sunday.
Saturday night everyone is up and having a good time, including yours truly, who at some point in the last few weeks fell off the wagon, and was taking advantage of my sisters tequila mixing skills. At around 11:30 I decided to hit the hay as I knew that 6:00 am, and the ensuing 2 hour drive home was going to come fast. Then I was reminded about daylight saving time and realized it was going to come faster.
My alarm went off and I was groggily awake, " time to get up".
Mrs. Flick went right on the offensive, " are you SUUUURE you want to race ?"
"yes we have to get up."
" Can't we just lay here a minute...just a minute...here hold me.", and she grabbed my arm and pulled me close.
I snuggled in next to her and started to drift off asleep again when I sudden thought bolted me awake... " HOLD ME ?!" We've been married almost 14 years and have 3 kids. The last time I got solicited into bed without protest or an exchange of funds was when the twin towers were standing.
" HEY ! YOU'RE TRICKING ME !", I jumped out of bed.
"Come back to bed", she purred.
Knowing what a weak man I am I grabbed my pants and ran out of the room. Literally, I bottomed out the van jumping the curb and sped out of town as fast as I could, leaving my family there.
I was a little hung over and facing a long drive so I stopped at Starbucks and grabbed a breakfast sandwich as a big black coffee. With about 10 miles to go in the trip I started peculating. 3 miles to go I was sweating and driving with cheeks clenched. 1 mile to go I was considering where I could best throw away my pants to save myself the embarrassment if I couldn't hold it anymore. Finally I pulled into my driveway and started running for the door with me key out. The Sunday paper was no the stoop. " How fortuitous !", I thought...impressing myself with my big word. I was just about home free when I bent over to scoop up the paper.
Note to self: When you are in defcon dump mode level 5, do not bed down for anything...esp note a 4 lb newspaper.
For the record, I made it to the can....but it was not, shall we say, without incident.
So then I cleaned up. Got my stuff on and rode over to the bike race.
The temptation of course is to give you a race report outlining all of the wickedly exciting things that happened from my perspective...but that's about as fun as a bad beat poker story...only interesting to the teller, never interesting to the listener/reader. The long and short is we rode around in circles. I took me about 3 laps to remember everything about bike racing, and about 4 laps to realize that I'm not fit enough yet to be able to compete. So I did what I could, got some good training in, did two races, and tried to have as much fun as possible. I rode home and got a good 65 mile day in.
Oh, yeah..then I had to drive back to Philly and pick up my family. Total count...4 hours on the bike, 4 hours in the car, 3 fast food meals. A good day all around.
( I almost made it through the weekend having lost another pound or two...but 4 tequilas, cheese puffs, an ice cream cone, and a few beers later, I think I killed those chances...damn nothing good ever happens past 10 pm)
Saturday night everyone is up and having a good time, including yours truly, who at some point in the last few weeks fell off the wagon, and was taking advantage of my sisters tequila mixing skills. At around 11:30 I decided to hit the hay as I knew that 6:00 am, and the ensuing 2 hour drive home was going to come fast. Then I was reminded about daylight saving time and realized it was going to come faster.
My alarm went off and I was groggily awake, " time to get up".
Mrs. Flick went right on the offensive, " are you SUUUURE you want to race ?"
"yes we have to get up."
" Can't we just lay here a minute...just a minute...here hold me.", and she grabbed my arm and pulled me close.
I snuggled in next to her and started to drift off asleep again when I sudden thought bolted me awake... " HOLD ME ?!" We've been married almost 14 years and have 3 kids. The last time I got solicited into bed without protest or an exchange of funds was when the twin towers were standing.
" HEY ! YOU'RE TRICKING ME !", I jumped out of bed.
"Come back to bed", she purred.
Knowing what a weak man I am I grabbed my pants and ran out of the room. Literally, I bottomed out the van jumping the curb and sped out of town as fast as I could, leaving my family there.
I was a little hung over and facing a long drive so I stopped at Starbucks and grabbed a breakfast sandwich as a big black coffee. With about 10 miles to go in the trip I started peculating. 3 miles to go I was sweating and driving with cheeks clenched. 1 mile to go I was considering where I could best throw away my pants to save myself the embarrassment if I couldn't hold it anymore. Finally I pulled into my driveway and started running for the door with me key out. The Sunday paper was no the stoop. " How fortuitous !", I thought...impressing myself with my big word. I was just about home free when I bent over to scoop up the paper.
Note to self: When you are in defcon dump mode level 5, do not bed down for anything...esp note a 4 lb newspaper.
For the record, I made it to the can....but it was not, shall we say, without incident.
So then I cleaned up. Got my stuff on and rode over to the bike race.
The temptation of course is to give you a race report outlining all of the wickedly exciting things that happened from my perspective...but that's about as fun as a bad beat poker story...only interesting to the teller, never interesting to the listener/reader. The long and short is we rode around in circles. I took me about 3 laps to remember everything about bike racing, and about 4 laps to realize that I'm not fit enough yet to be able to compete. So I did what I could, got some good training in, did two races, and tried to have as much fun as possible. I rode home and got a good 65 mile day in.
Oh, yeah..then I had to drive back to Philly and pick up my family. Total count...4 hours on the bike, 4 hours in the car, 3 fast food meals. A good day all around.
( I almost made it through the weekend having lost another pound or two...but 4 tequilas, cheese puffs, an ice cream cone, and a few beers later, I think I killed those chances...damn nothing good ever happens past 10 pm)
Sunday, March 08, 2009
forget all the heavy stuff
starting tomorrow I should have some good poop stories as well as the results of my riding around in a circle comeback.
Ah, seems like old times.
Ah, seems like old times.
Friday, March 06, 2009
overly simple
I literally had to draw a diagram on a piece of paper but I think i'm starting to get it.
So
Person A has 10,000 in cash..they go to a bank and hand it over into their checking acct.
Builder B builds a house
Person C want to buy the house.
Based on the 10,000 in despoits the bank lends Person C 100,000
Person C give the money to Builder B
The Builder B puts "the money" in the bank.
So the Bank now has $110,000 in desposits....BUT really has $10,000 in actual money
So there's a real house, and there's a real $10,000 in cash.
But the other $100,000 doesn't really exist...its a promise from Person C for future labor.
The loan is actually between the BuilderB and PersonC, with the bank acting as the enforcing or insurance agency at a ridiculous ( IMO) fee of like a 200% mark-up.
So if circumstances lead us to the point where person C can't pay the debt. Then the bank has a house and $10,000, but owes out $110,000. So if the reaction is well fuck the bank that its problem for writing a stupid loan....then what happens to the BuilderB and PersonA both of whom are owed a total of $110,000 ?
The first thing that comes to mind is "WTF doesn't the builder just sell ( or rent) the house directly to the person and forget the bank ?"
And I can see how in this model, something needs to be done to prevent total catastrophy...but what is going to be done to prevent this from happening again ? Shouldn't we be looking at what's wrong with this model and take the steps necessary to make sure it doesn't happen again ?
And finally, the role of the bank really seems to be to help people get shit they want RIGHT NOW in exchange for paying for it later. But they're doing that with no more security ( actually you could contend less security) than the person promising to pay them ! If the bank has actual money to loan out, that sounds reasonable, but it doesn't appear that's the case. Its a promise on a promise....and sadly backed up by a promise from the government. Thats bullshit obviously.
What should happen is that we should take our lumps, get through this, and learn as a country to only buy those things that we can afford and to only lend out resources that only exist in the here and now. That will be a difficult transitition until people are able to accumulate that wealth. But such a system should also force a decrease in prices or at least an increase in purchasing power as the banks cut of the action decreases. I suspect all of that will mean a static economy, but really, don't recent events this prove there no sustainable alternative ?
So
Person A has 10,000 in cash..they go to a bank and hand it over into their checking acct.
Builder B builds a house
Person C want to buy the house.
Based on the 10,000 in despoits the bank lends Person C 100,000
Person C give the money to Builder B
The Builder B puts "the money" in the bank.
So the Bank now has $110,000 in desposits....BUT really has $10,000 in actual money
So there's a real house, and there's a real $10,000 in cash.
But the other $100,000 doesn't really exist...its a promise from Person C for future labor.
The loan is actually between the BuilderB and PersonC, with the bank acting as the enforcing or insurance agency at a ridiculous ( IMO) fee of like a 200% mark-up.
So if circumstances lead us to the point where person C can't pay the debt. Then the bank has a house and $10,000, but owes out $110,000. So if the reaction is well fuck the bank that its problem for writing a stupid loan....then what happens to the BuilderB and PersonA both of whom are owed a total of $110,000 ?
The first thing that comes to mind is "WTF doesn't the builder just sell ( or rent) the house directly to the person and forget the bank ?"
And I can see how in this model, something needs to be done to prevent total catastrophy...but what is going to be done to prevent this from happening again ? Shouldn't we be looking at what's wrong with this model and take the steps necessary to make sure it doesn't happen again ?
And finally, the role of the bank really seems to be to help people get shit they want RIGHT NOW in exchange for paying for it later. But they're doing that with no more security ( actually you could contend less security) than the person promising to pay them ! If the bank has actual money to loan out, that sounds reasonable, but it doesn't appear that's the case. Its a promise on a promise....and sadly backed up by a promise from the government. Thats bullshit obviously.
What should happen is that we should take our lumps, get through this, and learn as a country to only buy those things that we can afford and to only lend out resources that only exist in the here and now. That will be a difficult transitition until people are able to accumulate that wealth. But such a system should also force a decrease in prices or at least an increase in purchasing power as the banks cut of the action decreases. I suspect all of that will mean a static economy, but really, don't recent events this prove there no sustainable alternative ?
Fathers and Sons
I took the boy out fishing last night and when we got home my wife asked how it went.
It went like everything else we do.
Golf - We walk around with me yelling at him to stop walking across the sandtraps or stop dragging his bag across the green.
Baseball - We have batting practice until I start yelling at him for letting go of the bat.
Video games - We play until I start yelling at him for having his fingers up his nose and then sticking them into the bag of chips.
and now fishing - which constitutes me yelling at him to stop throwing his bait into the only tree within three miles of where we're fishing.
I'd characterize it as him having his head up his ass, but I suspect that he doesn't have enough of an attention span to get any further than bending over before he either got distracted by something else or tripped over his own gigantic feet.
I love the boy to death, but he's doing a hell of a job at making me understand what my father was pissed off about all the time when I was a kid.
It went like everything else we do.
Golf - We walk around with me yelling at him to stop walking across the sandtraps or stop dragging his bag across the green.
Baseball - We have batting practice until I start yelling at him for letting go of the bat.
Video games - We play until I start yelling at him for having his fingers up his nose and then sticking them into the bag of chips.
and now fishing - which constitutes me yelling at him to stop throwing his bait into the only tree within three miles of where we're fishing.
I'd characterize it as him having his head up his ass, but I suspect that he doesn't have enough of an attention span to get any further than bending over before he either got distracted by something else or tripped over his own gigantic feet.
I love the boy to death, but he's doing a hell of a job at making me understand what my father was pissed off about all the time when I was a kid.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Watts Up ?
Intervals at the gym last night. I could sustain 265 watts at threshold for 5, five minute intervals. Given the fact that I'm 200 lbs...and given the fact that anyone who publishes on their blog that they sustained 265 probably really only sustained 250 watts but is too embarassed to say it....puts me sqaurely in the middle of the range of people who actively play Wii FIT at their local nursin home.
To put it in perspective, Lance needs both Olsen twins in bed with him at the same time to even think needing to put out 265 watts and at that point only Mary Kate and Ashley are the ones breathing hard.
OMG I think I'm channeling Andrew Dice Clay. Is he even dead or was that just his career ? Booya !
To put it in perspective, Lance needs both Olsen twins in bed with him at the same time to even think needing to put out 265 watts and at that point only Mary Kate and Ashley are the ones breathing hard.
OMG I think I'm channeling Andrew Dice Clay. Is he even dead or was that just his career ? Booya !
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Training week
For the first time in 4-5 years I've started a regular regimen of training. Training for "what" hasn't really been determined, but I've been consistently riding 3x, running 2x, and swimming 2x, for a total of about 8 hours a week since October. I've lost some weight, I've seen some improvement in all areas, and I'm generally encouraged.
What I had somehow forgotten over those 4+ years was the other parts of the training week that goes along with figuring out time to ride or run...the obsessive compulsive part, the pain part, and the " this isn't any fun" part, among others. Now that I've into a regular routine, I thought I'd share with your the other routine.
Monday - I was up feeling pretty decent. Usually I've done two long hard days over the weekend and I wake up Monday feeling fresher than I expect. Go down stairs, make coffee and start trying to talk myself into not getting on the scale,
" Do NOT get on the scale....you're going to be swollen from the weekend and the number is gong to be high. Do NOT get on the scale"
Then I have a cup of coffee. Watch a little bit of Mike and Mike on ESPN2, then I go upstairs and get on the scale.
The rest of the day is being depressed about how much I weigh.
Tuesday - Wake up a little melancholy because I made it 14 hours yesterday on nothing but coffee and one slice of toast, but woke up in the middle of the night starving and ate half a tub ( the other half left over from the previous Monday) of Turkey Hill ice cream.
By 2 pm, I'm totally sore and exhausted, the weekend is finally starting to catch up to me. I respond to this by doing 1.5 hours of really hard intervals, eating 6 ibuprofen, and staring at the ceiling all night.
Wednesday - The urinating starts. A weekends worth of swelling and an absurd ammt of coffee come together in what I like to refer to as Whizzin Wednesday. I pee every 20 mins all day long and try to convince my co-workers that I'm really not a coke fiend.
Thursday - Wake up and put hand cream on the hands which are now chapped from washing them every 20 minutes the day before. Get on scale and see that I've lost 3.5 lbs in 4 days. Elated, I celebrate my good dieting that evening by eating 8 extra slices of pizza then consider the the merits and social stigma of bulimics.
Friday - Friday is mostly spent telling myself that I'm so exhausted that I really do deserve a day off and that I shouldn't feel guilty about it. In the end I compromise by doing a light workout, then feeling half guilty about it.
Saturday and Sunday - Coffeekidstuffworkouteatvegrinserepeat.
What I had somehow forgotten over those 4+ years was the other parts of the training week that goes along with figuring out time to ride or run...the obsessive compulsive part, the pain part, and the " this isn't any fun" part, among others. Now that I've into a regular routine, I thought I'd share with your the other routine.
Monday - I was up feeling pretty decent. Usually I've done two long hard days over the weekend and I wake up Monday feeling fresher than I expect. Go down stairs, make coffee and start trying to talk myself into not getting on the scale,
" Do NOT get on the scale....you're going to be swollen from the weekend and the number is gong to be high. Do NOT get on the scale"
Then I have a cup of coffee. Watch a little bit of Mike and Mike on ESPN2, then I go upstairs and get on the scale.
The rest of the day is being depressed about how much I weigh.
Tuesday - Wake up a little melancholy because I made it 14 hours yesterday on nothing but coffee and one slice of toast, but woke up in the middle of the night starving and ate half a tub ( the other half left over from the previous Monday) of Turkey Hill ice cream.
By 2 pm, I'm totally sore and exhausted, the weekend is finally starting to catch up to me. I respond to this by doing 1.5 hours of really hard intervals, eating 6 ibuprofen, and staring at the ceiling all night.
Wednesday - The urinating starts. A weekends worth of swelling and an absurd ammt of coffee come together in what I like to refer to as Whizzin Wednesday. I pee every 20 mins all day long and try to convince my co-workers that I'm really not a coke fiend.
Thursday - Wake up and put hand cream on the hands which are now chapped from washing them every 20 minutes the day before. Get on scale and see that I've lost 3.5 lbs in 4 days. Elated, I celebrate my good dieting that evening by eating 8 extra slices of pizza then consider the the merits and social stigma of bulimics.
Friday - Friday is mostly spent telling myself that I'm so exhausted that I really do deserve a day off and that I shouldn't feel guilty about it. In the end I compromise by doing a light workout, then feeling half guilty about it.
Saturday and Sunday - Coffeekidstuffworkouteatvegrinserepeat.
Fundamental breakdown
This past weekend marked another disappointing experience in the world of retail.
I make a conscious effort, where practical to support those businesses that make an effort to do a good job and provide a good service. I'll do so even where that service or product costs more than the alternative.
Sadly, I'm finding that regardless of cost, my options are increasingly limited.
Rather than continue to focus in the negative ( which seems all too easy these days in a world of supposed economic turmoil) , I've decided to use this post as an opportunity to talk about my positive experiences in retail.
< cue the crickets >
The last time I can remember....actually the last two times I can remember being stopped in my tracks by high quality customer service with a smile happened about an hour apart. Once getting one and then getting off the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Yeah I know...right ?! But its true, of all the places, but I've noticed that for the most part the Turnpike Toll Takers ( or whatever their official title is...maybe Revenue Accepting Associate) ..anyway...whatever they're called, they always are pleasant, friendly, and knowledgeable.
So here's a tip of the coffee mug to toll takers...the last bastion of civility in the modern world.
---for those of you reading via google reader, you're sooo missing my new twitter widget ------>
I make a conscious effort, where practical to support those businesses that make an effort to do a good job and provide a good service. I'll do so even where that service or product costs more than the alternative.
Sadly, I'm finding that regardless of cost, my options are increasingly limited.
Rather than continue to focus in the negative ( which seems all too easy these days in a world of supposed economic turmoil) , I've decided to use this post as an opportunity to talk about my positive experiences in retail.
< cue the crickets >
The last time I can remember....actually the last two times I can remember being stopped in my tracks by high quality customer service with a smile happened about an hour apart. Once getting one and then getting off the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Yeah I know...right ?! But its true, of all the places, but I've noticed that for the most part the Turnpike Toll Takers ( or whatever their official title is...maybe Revenue Accepting Associate) ..anyway...whatever they're called, they always are pleasant, friendly, and knowledgeable.
So here's a tip of the coffee mug to toll takers...the last bastion of civility in the modern world.
---for those of you reading via google reader, you're sooo missing my new twitter widget ------>
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Making the pros
You know you're getting pretty good at this parenting thing when you instinctively know the difference between the sound of an object falling down the stairs and a child falling down the stairs.
Friday, February 27, 2009
_DO_ call it a comeback
Weather pending, I'll make my triumphant return to bicycle racing on Sunday.
My wife is pretty psyched about me doing a C race on a tight course, early in the season, on a wet windy day.
I've been notified that I'll be scrubbing out my own wounds.
My wife is pretty psyched about me doing a C race on a tight course, early in the season, on a wet windy day.
I've been notified that I'll be scrubbing out my own wounds.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
No Stats All Star
An interesting piece on statistics and basketball. - ty Andrew
ToC is done and I've heard some amazement at the fact that Armstrong was able to predict how much time that he would lose to Levi in the time trial. For those of you who still believe that bike racing is largely about guts and being "super-motivated" you may want to stop reading now. Predicting the outcome of the TT or for that matter, the outcome of a mountain finish isn't really that hard to do if you know a few things.
If you know the sustain wattage of the riders at threshold. ( which Lance would have as they're teammates)
If you know the drag difference between riders ( negligible on climbs and not significant between Levi and Lance)
The weight of the riders ( also known)
If you know the terrain and distance of the event ( known quantities)
and you assume both riders aren't sick or injured.
At that point its a matter of punching in sustained wattage at threshold over distance. Then factor in weight/terrain and if necessary drag. Then you'll have an approximation of what their finishing time will be. Even if some of your assumptions are wrong, you should have a decent idea of of the difference of their times relative to each other.
Dr Michele Ferrari may be guilty of providing riders with drugs, but he's not guilty of being an idiot. Years ago he created for his clients ( including one Lance Armstrong) a catalogue of VAM. VAM was a measure of riders rate of assent over various climbs. By establishing the VAM he could, essentially, back his way through the formula described above and figure out power output and projected climbing times for various riders. That's one of the ways that Lance knew to let Pantani go away during stage 15 of the 2000 Tour De France, Ferrari knew that Pantani would only about 30 seconds at the top based on his previous recent performances.
That might take some of the beauty and mystique out of the grand tours, but it also goes to show how Johan Bruneel and Lance Armstong's legendary preparation and attention directly contributed to his 7 victories.
Some other point the the same topic:
- The theory also reinforces the point that LeMond made, which was ignored and which I think eventually got Catlin bounced from Armstrong's team. Once you've established a baseline wattage/kg at threshold, riders shouldn't see a significant increase in that wattage unless there's something funny going on.
- Lance already has his team accumulating this wattage and VAM numbers on other riders. This of course includes the information he has the greatest access to...that on Alberto Contador. Lance will start the tour knowing whether or not he can outclimb and out TT Countador. Regardless of what he says, that will be the only factor in deciding who will be team leader.
- Classics, largely, are immune from this sort of scientific application. Classics races are too dynamic and unpredictable....which is why they remain my favorite.
ToC is done and I've heard some amazement at the fact that Armstrong was able to predict how much time that he would lose to Levi in the time trial. For those of you who still believe that bike racing is largely about guts and being "super-motivated" you may want to stop reading now. Predicting the outcome of the TT or for that matter, the outcome of a mountain finish isn't really that hard to do if you know a few things.
If you know the sustain wattage of the riders at threshold. ( which Lance would have as they're teammates)
If you know the drag difference between riders ( negligible on climbs and not significant between Levi and Lance)
The weight of the riders ( also known)
If you know the terrain and distance of the event ( known quantities)
and you assume both riders aren't sick or injured.
At that point its a matter of punching in sustained wattage at threshold over distance. Then factor in weight/terrain and if necessary drag. Then you'll have an approximation of what their finishing time will be. Even if some of your assumptions are wrong, you should have a decent idea of of the difference of their times relative to each other.
Dr Michele Ferrari may be guilty of providing riders with drugs, but he's not guilty of being an idiot. Years ago he created for his clients ( including one Lance Armstrong) a catalogue of VAM. VAM was a measure of riders rate of assent over various climbs. By establishing the VAM he could, essentially, back his way through the formula described above and figure out power output and projected climbing times for various riders. That's one of the ways that Lance knew to let Pantani go away during stage 15 of the 2000 Tour De France, Ferrari knew that Pantani would only about 30 seconds at the top based on his previous recent performances.
That might take some of the beauty and mystique out of the grand tours, but it also goes to show how Johan Bruneel and Lance Armstong's legendary preparation and attention directly contributed to his 7 victories.
Some other point the the same topic:
- The theory also reinforces the point that LeMond made, which was ignored and which I think eventually got Catlin bounced from Armstrong's team. Once you've established a baseline wattage/kg at threshold, riders shouldn't see a significant increase in that wattage unless there's something funny going on.
- Lance already has his team accumulating this wattage and VAM numbers on other riders. This of course includes the information he has the greatest access to...that on Alberto Contador. Lance will start the tour knowing whether or not he can outclimb and out TT Countador. Regardless of what he says, that will be the only factor in deciding who will be team leader.
- Classics, largely, are immune from this sort of scientific application. Classics races are too dynamic and unpredictable....which is why they remain my favorite.
I'm twittering
flickstrong on twitter.com
and I'll save your the trouble of having to comment...yes that makes me gay.
and I'll save your the trouble of having to comment...yes that makes me gay.
Friday, February 20, 2009
extortion explained
So the mob goes into a neighborhood and explains to a shop owner that there are dangers in the world and the mob is the agency best equipped to protect the shop owner. Should the owner balk at that idea, he'll find himself proven wrong when, coincidentally, a brick gets thrown through his window two night later....surely something that would have been prevented if he had taken advantage of the "insurance" policy offered by the mob.
Over the course of time, the mob recognized various opportunities that their diversified business associations provided. For instance, everyone they provided "protection" for also need to throw out their trash. So the mob formed a trash hauling business. Also, if the mob provided protection for both a painter and for a grocer, and the Giants failed to cover on Sunday... the grocer might find himself in need of some painting, which the mob would happily arrange with their friend the painter...for a standard 20% vig, on both sides. Over the course of time came drug distribution, gambling, and other associated business.
In short, the mob became a very convenient one stop shop for everything everyone needed, for the small fee of just about everything you owned. And if that ended up costing too much, no worries, they also had a very successful lending program to ensure you kept afloat.
Yeah you were giving them all your money, and they were putting you deeper in debt, and you were subject to their whims and any given time, but you WERE protected. Make no bones about that, you were definately protected.
So just replace "brick" with 9/11, "trash" with "everything", and "mob" with "government" and you see what has me all pissed off.
Oh right...you don't have to change drugs and gambling. Those are the same.
Over the course of time, the mob recognized various opportunities that their diversified business associations provided. For instance, everyone they provided "protection" for also need to throw out their trash. So the mob formed a trash hauling business. Also, if the mob provided protection for both a painter and for a grocer, and the Giants failed to cover on Sunday... the grocer might find himself in need of some painting, which the mob would happily arrange with their friend the painter...for a standard 20% vig, on both sides. Over the course of time came drug distribution, gambling, and other associated business.
In short, the mob became a very convenient one stop shop for everything everyone needed, for the small fee of just about everything you owned. And if that ended up costing too much, no worries, they also had a very successful lending program to ensure you kept afloat.
Yeah you were giving them all your money, and they were putting you deeper in debt, and you were subject to their whims and any given time, but you WERE protected. Make no bones about that, you were definately protected.
So just replace "brick" with 9/11, "trash" with "everything", and "mob" with "government" and you see what has me all pissed off.
Oh right...you don't have to change drugs and gambling. Those are the same.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
the story
Transcript of Paul Kimmage's radio interview in Ireland, 9/10/08:
"My reaction to Armstrong coming back? ...the enthusiasm that I had built up about the sport in the last couple of years has been all but completely wiped out in the last couple of hours.
Let's turn the clock back to Armstrong's last apparition in the sport. The Tour de France 2005. He's standing on the podium. And he makes this big impassioned speech. Which is basically saying 'The last thing I'll say to the people who don't believe in cycling, the cynics, the sceptics: I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry you can't dream big. I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles.' That was 2005, his last ride in the the Tour de France. And the people flanking him on that podium were Ivan Basso and Jan Ullrich. And a month after that race ended the French newspaper L'Equipe reported that in his first winning Tour de France, in 1999, Armstrong had tested positive for EPO. Six separate samples taken during that race revealed positive tests for EPO.
STORY: Angry Armstrong blasts reporter; 2/12/09
This return, he wants us to believe that it's all about saving the world from cancer. That's complete bullshit. It's about revenge It's about ego. It's about Lance Armstrong. I think he's trying to rewrite his exit from the sport. He's sat back and he's watched the last two years and he cannot stand the idea that there are clean cyclists now that will overtake his legacy and buy the memory of all the crap that he put the sport through.
When I heard it being mooted first that he was coming back, I thought well that's fine, because the first thing ASO are going to say is 'sorry Lance, we've seen your results from the 1999 tests , you're not coming back.' I expected a similar statement from Pat McQuaid. What's happened instead is that Christian Prudhomme has said 'yes, you can come back, no problem.' And Pat McQiad has said 'I really admire this man, he's a tremendous ambassador for cycling.' What we're getting here is the corporate dollars and the money that's going to accompany this guy back into the game. The money that's going to bring for Nike, one of the big sponsors of the Tour. And for the UCI, who have been experiencing some serious problems in the last couple of years.
Much as you want to say the sport has changed, as quickly as they can change their own opinions - McQuaid, who says one thing in private and quite the opposite in public, and Prudhomme - if they can change so quickly then I'm sorry, it's really very, very difficult to have any optimism with regard to Armstrong and the way the sport was moving forward. For me, if he comes back next year, the sport takes two steps back.
I spent the whole Tour this year with Slipstream, the Garmin team. That wasn't by accident. I chose that team deliberately, because of what they were saying about the sport and the message they were putting out. But also the fact that so many of that team had raced with Armstrong during his best years and knew exactly what he got up to. And the stuff that I learnt on that Tour about him and what he was really like was absolutely shocking, really shocking.
What's going to happen now is he comes back and everybody's going to wave their hands in the air and give him a big clap. And all the guys who really know what he's about are going to feel so utterly and totally depressed. And I'm talking about Jonathan Vuaghthers, who raced with Armstrong that first winning Tour and who doped. And if you look at that Tour, Armstrong's first win, there were seven Americans on that team. Frankie Andreu has said he used EPO. Tyler Hamilton has been done for [blood doping]. George Hincapie was exposed as a doper by Emma O'Reilly, the team soigneur. Christian Vand Velde and Jonathan Vaughters . both are members of Slipstream and would promote the notion that this was not a clean team by any means. When you look at that and what Armstrong's done and how he's seemingly got away with it, it just makes his come back very hard to stomach.
Astana's the absolute perfect team for him. He'd be renewing his old acquaintance with Bruyneel, who wanted to hire Basso last year. Will he be renewing his old acquaintance with Ferrari, the famous doctor? Will Bruyneel be taking pictures of the questioning journalists and pinning them on the side of his bus?
When Armstrong talks about transparency, this is the greatest laugh. When he talks about embracing this new transparency . I'm really looking forward to that. I'm really looking forward to my first interview request with him and seeing how that comes back. Because that would really make it interesting.
This guy, any other way but his bullying and intimidation wrapped up in this great cloak, the great cancer martyr . this is what he hides behind all the time. The great man who conquered cancer. Well he is the cancer in this sport. And for two years this sport has been in remission. And now the cancer's back."
Podium Cafe.com
Copyright 2009 / All Rights Reserved
"My reaction to Armstrong coming back? ...the enthusiasm that I had built up about the sport in the last couple of years has been all but completely wiped out in the last couple of hours.
Let's turn the clock back to Armstrong's last apparition in the sport. The Tour de France 2005. He's standing on the podium. And he makes this big impassioned speech. Which is basically saying 'The last thing I'll say to the people who don't believe in cycling, the cynics, the sceptics: I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry you can't dream big. I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles.' That was 2005, his last ride in the the Tour de France. And the people flanking him on that podium were Ivan Basso and Jan Ullrich. And a month after that race ended the French newspaper L'Equipe reported that in his first winning Tour de France, in 1999, Armstrong had tested positive for EPO. Six separate samples taken during that race revealed positive tests for EPO.
STORY: Angry Armstrong blasts reporter; 2/12/09
This return, he wants us to believe that it's all about saving the world from cancer. That's complete bullshit. It's about revenge It's about ego. It's about Lance Armstrong. I think he's trying to rewrite his exit from the sport. He's sat back and he's watched the last two years and he cannot stand the idea that there are clean cyclists now that will overtake his legacy and buy the memory of all the crap that he put the sport through.
When I heard it being mooted first that he was coming back, I thought well that's fine, because the first thing ASO are going to say is 'sorry Lance, we've seen your results from the 1999 tests , you're not coming back.' I expected a similar statement from Pat McQuaid. What's happened instead is that Christian Prudhomme has said 'yes, you can come back, no problem.' And Pat McQiad has said 'I really admire this man, he's a tremendous ambassador for cycling.' What we're getting here is the corporate dollars and the money that's going to accompany this guy back into the game. The money that's going to bring for Nike, one of the big sponsors of the Tour. And for the UCI, who have been experiencing some serious problems in the last couple of years.
Much as you want to say the sport has changed, as quickly as they can change their own opinions - McQuaid, who says one thing in private and quite the opposite in public, and Prudhomme - if they can change so quickly then I'm sorry, it's really very, very difficult to have any optimism with regard to Armstrong and the way the sport was moving forward. For me, if he comes back next year, the sport takes two steps back.
I spent the whole Tour this year with Slipstream, the Garmin team. That wasn't by accident. I chose that team deliberately, because of what they were saying about the sport and the message they were putting out. But also the fact that so many of that team had raced with Armstrong during his best years and knew exactly what he got up to. And the stuff that I learnt on that Tour about him and what he was really like was absolutely shocking, really shocking.
What's going to happen now is he comes back and everybody's going to wave their hands in the air and give him a big clap. And all the guys who really know what he's about are going to feel so utterly and totally depressed. And I'm talking about Jonathan Vuaghthers, who raced with Armstrong that first winning Tour and who doped. And if you look at that Tour, Armstrong's first win, there were seven Americans on that team. Frankie Andreu has said he used EPO. Tyler Hamilton has been done for [blood doping]. George Hincapie was exposed as a doper by Emma O'Reilly, the team soigneur. Christian Vand Velde and Jonathan Vaughters . both are members of Slipstream and would promote the notion that this was not a clean team by any means. When you look at that and what Armstrong's done and how he's seemingly got away with it, it just makes his come back very hard to stomach.
Astana's the absolute perfect team for him. He'd be renewing his old acquaintance with Bruyneel, who wanted to hire Basso last year. Will he be renewing his old acquaintance with Ferrari, the famous doctor? Will Bruyneel be taking pictures of the questioning journalists and pinning them on the side of his bus?
When Armstrong talks about transparency, this is the greatest laugh. When he talks about embracing this new transparency . I'm really looking forward to that. I'm really looking forward to my first interview request with him and seeing how that comes back. Because that would really make it interesting.
This guy, any other way but his bullying and intimidation wrapped up in this great cloak, the great cancer martyr . this is what he hides behind all the time. The great man who conquered cancer. Well he is the cancer in this sport. And for two years this sport has been in remission. And now the cancer's back."
Podium Cafe.com
Copyright 2009 / All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
odds and ends from the weekend
My daughter had a swim meet over the weekend and set PRs in each of her events. This lead me to take a look at the qualifying standards for junior Olympics. Strangely enough, my daughter would have placed a few spots higher in the 9-10 boys events than she did in the girls races. I'm always surprised to see that for many events, the girls time standards are lower than the boys. This, of course, is a fact often pointed out to the boys by the girls.
---------------------------
The hottest two topics of conversation back and forth to the pool were
* wondering how cool it would be if they could put Lake Huron on Uranus.
and
* complete fascination with rectal thermometers, asking Dad if he even had his butt temperature taken then laughing hysterically.
---------------------------
On Sat, I was half asleep, staring out the window and drinking a cup of coffee when the boy walked in, " good morning Dad."
"urgh", and sipped my coffee.
Then as he walked by the little bastard reached over, "pantsed" me, and kept going.
" You little shit. You know I'm going to kill you"
" HA ! first you gotta catch me ! And you owe me a dollar for cursing.", and he ran downstairs.
I now owe him $26.
-------------------------
---------------------------
The hottest two topics of conversation back and forth to the pool were
* wondering how cool it would be if they could put Lake Huron on Uranus.
and
* complete fascination with rectal thermometers, asking Dad if he even had his butt temperature taken then laughing hysterically.
---------------------------
On Sat, I was half asleep, staring out the window and drinking a cup of coffee when the boy walked in, " good morning Dad."
"urgh", and sipped my coffee.
Then as he walked by the little bastard reached over, "pantsed" me, and kept going.
" You little shit. You know I'm going to kill you"
" HA ! first you gotta catch me ! And you owe me a dollar for cursing.", and he ran downstairs.
I now owe him $26.
-------------------------
Monday, February 16, 2009
Horner is the best
Lance Twittered this 2 hours after the race:
Getting massage and Horner comes in. He's just back from the race. Johan and I were like, "where have u been?".
Reply - "I was at In and Out Burger". What??
He ordered a double-double (xtra onions), fries, coke, and a strawberry shake. Wow.
Getting massage and Horner comes in. He's just back from the race. Johan and I were like, "where have u been?".
Reply - "I was at In and Out Burger". What??
He ordered a double-double (xtra onions), fries, coke, and a strawberry shake. Wow.
ToC oberservations
from yesterday's stage:
- If Horner were such a dop- errrr 'super-motivated' rider he'd be, by far my favorite bicycle racer. He always reads the race perfectly, he speaks his mind, and he's always willing to do the work. If Astana wins the race, they owe it to him.
- Astana blaming their screw up on the radio communication is would be like the Miami Dophins blaming a loss because it was just too darned cold to be playing football in Green Bay. Even if you're right you still sound like a pussy. The radios are primarily for safety and assist with the racing. Ultimately if you want to win the race, put down your Blackberry, pay attention, and race at the front of the field Johan.
- Floyd = chubby
- Mancebo not waiting for Tim Johnson is funny. Tim Johnson complainint about it is funny. I'll be happy when the race leaves "whine" country.
- I owe Eustice and apology. Clearly he's not the worst cycling announcer ever.
- The officials supposedly changing the rules to that the GC time was taken the first time across the line is really interesting and totally changed the complexion of the race. It also explains how Mancebo put time into the chase on the circuits while the other to riders cleared the game. The way the whole finishing circuit played out was confusing, but makes more sense in light of the officials decission.
- Someone needs to get the cameraman on of those Sham-WOWs! Maybe the ShamWow! guy could do some announcing. THAT I'd watch.
- If Horner were such a dop- errrr 'super-motivated' rider he'd be, by far my favorite bicycle racer. He always reads the race perfectly, he speaks his mind, and he's always willing to do the work. If Astana wins the race, they owe it to him.
- Astana blaming their screw up on the radio communication is would be like the Miami Dophins blaming a loss because it was just too darned cold to be playing football in Green Bay. Even if you're right you still sound like a pussy. The radios are primarily for safety and assist with the racing. Ultimately if you want to win the race, put down your Blackberry, pay attention, and race at the front of the field Johan.
- Floyd = chubby
- Mancebo not waiting for Tim Johnson is funny. Tim Johnson complainint about it is funny. I'll be happy when the race leaves "whine" country.
- I owe Eustice and apology. Clearly he's not the worst cycling announcer ever.
- The officials supposedly changing the rules to that the GC time was taken the first time across the line is really interesting and totally changed the complexion of the race. It also explains how Mancebo put time into the chase on the circuits while the other to riders cleared the game. The way the whole finishing circuit played out was confusing, but makes more sense in light of the officials decission.
- Someone needs to get the cameraman on of those Sham-WOWs! Maybe the ShamWow! guy could do some announcing. THAT I'd watch.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
TREK - ARMSTONG - AMERICA
I get it. Sorry it took so long.
All those granny-earth muffin, WTO protesting, Birkenstock wearing, nutjobs who have been yelling about capitalist imperialism and American ills...I own you an apology. You were right.
Now in my defense, if you guys had presented yourselves a little better and, say, taken a bath once a month, you may have been able to make a more compelling argument. But bygones....
I have a friend who is a successful Trek dealer. I mentioned how I thought it was disappointing that Trek screwed over Greg LeMond. " Greg LeMond ? Greg LeMond is a big fucking crybaby full of sour grapes and jealousy."
Well you can imagine the the rest of the conversation didn't go particularly well.
But after some thoughtful discussion he make the following points:
- Yeah Lemond is right. Yes Lemond is fighting from the moral high ground. Yes Lance is a self-selving cheating dick with a god complex. And yes, the guy in the black hat is winning, and winning handily. It's like if Star Wars ended with Darth Vader killing Luke and Leah.
But none of that matters.
- Trek is making money. He's making money. Trek is American and so Lance is good for America ( he actually said this). Lance brings people to cycling. Lance brings attention to cancer. He said the benefits of Lance (even doping) outweigh the negatives. The ends totally justify the means. Even if he's right, Greg Lemond should have recognized that and should have realized that speaking out was going to cost him his business and his reputation. Ultimately no one really cares if Lance doped.
He (Greg) should have just shut the fuck up and get onto the gravy train.
THAT, my fiends, should be the first line revised constitution.
God Bless America(tm)
All those granny-earth muffin, WTO protesting, Birkenstock wearing, nutjobs who have been yelling about capitalist imperialism and American ills...I own you an apology. You were right.
Now in my defense, if you guys had presented yourselves a little better and, say, taken a bath once a month, you may have been able to make a more compelling argument. But bygones....
I have a friend who is a successful Trek dealer. I mentioned how I thought it was disappointing that Trek screwed over Greg LeMond. " Greg LeMond ? Greg LeMond is a big fucking crybaby full of sour grapes and jealousy."
Well you can imagine the the rest of the conversation didn't go particularly well.
But after some thoughtful discussion he make the following points:
- Yeah Lemond is right. Yes Lemond is fighting from the moral high ground. Yes Lance is a self-selving cheating dick with a god complex. And yes, the guy in the black hat is winning, and winning handily. It's like if Star Wars ended with Darth Vader killing Luke and Leah.
But none of that matters.
- Trek is making money. He's making money. Trek is American and so Lance is good for America ( he actually said this). Lance brings people to cycling. Lance brings attention to cancer. He said the benefits of Lance (even doping) outweigh the negatives. The ends totally justify the means. Even if he's right, Greg Lemond should have recognized that and should have realized that speaking out was going to cost him his business and his reputation. Ultimately no one really cares if Lance doped.
He (Greg) should have just shut the fuck up and get onto the gravy train.
THAT, my fiends, should be the first line revised constitution.
God Bless America(tm)
foreboding ? foreclosing ?
"Politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality." -Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
I have a friend who told me that he hasn't made a mortgage payment for three months. The bank called him for the first time this week. Instead of the hard sell, he got a simple request, " Can you pay anything ?"
Now before your let your heartstring get pulled I should give you a little more of the story. My friend no longer lives in the house. He now lives in an upscale condo, his 4th place in the last 6 years. He was one of the upwardly mobile suburban DC denizens who flipped houses every two years moving from a reasonable 400K place up to the 1.2 million mansion that he find himself upside down in. All along the way, he's made the move with little money down, ARMortgages, and using the proceeds to make the minimum down payment followed by purchases of sports cars, motorcycles, and Caribbean trips. Does that sound jealous ? Yeah, well that's probably because I am. During that same time period I've been cutting my lawn of the modest home and making the monthly nut on time as promised.
But that's besides the point. Whatever arrangements that exist between my friend and the bank are between those two. If they want to make a risky loan, fine. If he doesn't want to pay, what difference is it to me ? That's UNTIL I have to politicians bellyaching about poor Little Sally Johnson being evicted....or the " pain on Main Street". I have sympathy for working class people living from paycheck to paycheck, but I have little sympathy for people living above their means or for those people who got caught on the ground floor of a world-wide greed filled ponzi scheme they got caught up in.
Which brings us to my main point. The banks and policiticans would have us believe that they're being magnanimous by passing policies and legislation to limit the forecloseurs and by not evicting people from their homes for non-payment.
BULLSHIT.
If the banks thought for a minute that they could sell those homes for a profit, they'd do it in a minute. If they could get another interest paying veal to pony up the minimum down payment, then the current residents would be out on the street by sunset. What it really comes down to is that in this housing market the banks aren't getting any money...but if they foreclose on those houses they start LOSING money. So long as people like my buddy own the house, then my buddy has to cut the lawn, my buddy has to insure it, my buddy is responsible for the taxes, and there's the off change that the bank can talk him into making some sort of payments..then eventually pick the mortgage back up when things turn around. And THAT is what banks want.
Credit is imaginary money. Its a promise on future labor. And seeing as its largely fabricated wealth then whatever return the banks make on it is profit. If the bank can get my buddy to pay even a portion of the interest he owns each month, the bank is happy to let the principal sit in the "owed" column and continue to the the vig run. Loanshaking 101.
Thats what this bailout is about. Its about helping keep the banks afloat and keeping the loansharks in business.
I have a friend who told me that he hasn't made a mortgage payment for three months. The bank called him for the first time this week. Instead of the hard sell, he got a simple request, " Can you pay anything ?"
Now before your let your heartstring get pulled I should give you a little more of the story. My friend no longer lives in the house. He now lives in an upscale condo, his 4th place in the last 6 years. He was one of the upwardly mobile suburban DC denizens who flipped houses every two years moving from a reasonable 400K place up to the 1.2 million mansion that he find himself upside down in. All along the way, he's made the move with little money down, ARMortgages, and using the proceeds to make the minimum down payment followed by purchases of sports cars, motorcycles, and Caribbean trips. Does that sound jealous ? Yeah, well that's probably because I am. During that same time period I've been cutting my lawn of the modest home and making the monthly nut on time as promised.
But that's besides the point. Whatever arrangements that exist between my friend and the bank are between those two. If they want to make a risky loan, fine. If he doesn't want to pay, what difference is it to me ? That's UNTIL I have to politicians bellyaching about poor Little Sally Johnson being evicted....or the " pain on Main Street". I have sympathy for working class people living from paycheck to paycheck, but I have little sympathy for people living above their means or for those people who got caught on the ground floor of a world-wide greed filled ponzi scheme they got caught up in.
Which brings us to my main point. The banks and policiticans would have us believe that they're being magnanimous by passing policies and legislation to limit the forecloseurs and by not evicting people from their homes for non-payment.
BULLSHIT.
If the banks thought for a minute that they could sell those homes for a profit, they'd do it in a minute. If they could get another interest paying veal to pony up the minimum down payment, then the current residents would be out on the street by sunset. What it really comes down to is that in this housing market the banks aren't getting any money...but if they foreclose on those houses they start LOSING money. So long as people like my buddy own the house, then my buddy has to cut the lawn, my buddy has to insure it, my buddy is responsible for the taxes, and there's the off change that the bank can talk him into making some sort of payments..then eventually pick the mortgage back up when things turn around. And THAT is what banks want.
Credit is imaginary money. Its a promise on future labor. And seeing as its largely fabricated wealth then whatever return the banks make on it is profit. If the bank can get my buddy to pay even a portion of the interest he owns each month, the bank is happy to let the principal sit in the "owed" column and continue to the the vig run. Loanshaking 101.
Thats what this bailout is about. Its about helping keep the banks afloat and keeping the loansharks in business.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Defending a so called doper
So A-Rod is all over the news and using performance enhancing drugs.
Lets sets a few things straight.
* Prior to 2002 MLB had no testing program which means that whatever rules they had in place really didn't exist. I'll take that a step further and say that they knew the players were regularly takinf steriods and MLB didn't care. MLB made a lot of money during and after the Sosa/ Maguire rivalry.
* The self rightous reporters who are condemning players now were in the locker rooms and damn well knew what had been going on for year and years. They never said a word. They were complicit. For them to act shocked is hypocritical.
* In 2002 the players union agreed to participate with testing so that MLB could assess the situation. The tests were to be anonymous and not to be used against and player. A-Rod positive is coming out of those test, which are proving to be NOT anonymous and now are being considered for use against him. This type of behavior is going SET BACK the efforts of anti-doping in athletics. If the testers can't be trusted to follow their own rules and anonymous doesn't mean anonymous then you're not going to get any cooperation.
For me the issue is simple. For anything that occurred prior to 2004, the slate is wiped clean. None of that matters. Anything that happened(s) after 2004 should be enforced according to the rules in place. That's all. As for records, there needs to be some recognition that from 1990-2004 drugs were rampant in the sport.
From this point forward I'd consider any doping to be affecting the integrity of the game and I'd deal with it the same way that you would someone who cheated or gambled on games.
As for A-Rod, I can't see punishing a guy who did something years ago that nobody cared about then..because suddenly they care about it now.
Lets sets a few things straight.
* Prior to 2002 MLB had no testing program which means that whatever rules they had in place really didn't exist. I'll take that a step further and say that they knew the players were regularly takinf steriods and MLB didn't care. MLB made a lot of money during and after the Sosa/ Maguire rivalry.
* The self rightous reporters who are condemning players now were in the locker rooms and damn well knew what had been going on for year and years. They never said a word. They were complicit. For them to act shocked is hypocritical.
* In 2002 the players union agreed to participate with testing so that MLB could assess the situation. The tests were to be anonymous and not to be used against and player. A-Rod positive is coming out of those test, which are proving to be NOT anonymous and now are being considered for use against him. This type of behavior is going SET BACK the efforts of anti-doping in athletics. If the testers can't be trusted to follow their own rules and anonymous doesn't mean anonymous then you're not going to get any cooperation.
For me the issue is simple. For anything that occurred prior to 2004, the slate is wiped clean. None of that matters. Anything that happened(s) after 2004 should be enforced according to the rules in place. That's all. As for records, there needs to be some recognition that from 1990-2004 drugs were rampant in the sport.
From this point forward I'd consider any doping to be affecting the integrity of the game and I'd deal with it the same way that you would someone who cheated or gambled on games.
As for A-Rod, I can't see punishing a guy who did something years ago that nobody cared about then..because suddenly they care about it now.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Armstrong
Did you expect anything different ?
"Armstrong’s first race out of retirement, he said he was worried that publishing all his biological data would prompt unfair questions about him from the public. A layman would probably not be able to understand complex information"
- He's not cheating. You're just too dumb to know realize that.
"Armstrong’s first race out of retirement, he said he was worried that publishing all his biological data would prompt unfair questions about him from the public. A layman would probably not be able to understand complex information"
- He's not cheating. You're just too dumb to know realize that.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Discussion topic Wednesday
Suppose there's a kid who is pretty good at baseball and is graduating high school. He's given two choices:
1) Accept a partial scholarship ( $3500) from a small University to play baseball for them.
2) Sign with a independant league team for $ 3500 a year...and the team would accomodate his college academic schedule into his team participation.
We're going to assume the following for sake of discussion...
- He'd go to same college either in either case, and the college is local.
- The quality of play is slightly better with the pro team, but the competition for a starting spot is also slightly more difficult.
- The kids main goal is to play and enjoy baseball, but has not given up on thoughts of a real pro career.
The kid comes to you for advice, and you say ????
1) Accept a partial scholarship ( $3500) from a small University to play baseball for them.
2) Sign with a independant league team for $ 3500 a year...and the team would accomodate his college academic schedule into his team participation.
We're going to assume the following for sake of discussion...
- He'd go to same college either in either case, and the college is local.
- The quality of play is slightly better with the pro team, but the competition for a starting spot is also slightly more difficult.
- The kids main goal is to play and enjoy baseball, but has not given up on thoughts of a real pro career.
The kid comes to you for advice, and you say ????
Call to arms
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Figure out what your local municipality is. Find out what vacancies exist and fill them. Boards, commissions, committees, whatever. At the very least, go the to municipal website and read what's going on.
Everyone's attention is on the national stage. People bicker about stuff that barely or indirectly affects them, macro issues like the national economy, abortion, race relations, etc.
Meanwhile, right in your back yard, decisions are being made that are going to directly affect where you live, how your children are educated, and how much of your tax dollars are being taken out of your pocket. And by and large those decisions are being made by self-serving and/or under-informed dolts.
I hate to put it like that, but by and large, people who have the biggest interests in what's going on tend to be the least involved. Either people have no interest in local government or the feel like they're already torn with jobs and children to allocate much time to the get involved. SO what you, in far too many cases, are those people who either crave the position, or who have nothing else going on ( obv. not always the case, but its getting worse every year).
Let me put some of those concerns to rest. Typically, this participation doesn't end up taking much of your time at all. Usually one or two nights a month. Secondly, even if you can't participate fully. Having 50% of a competent person is better than 100% dolt.
Don't believe me, here's a few examples:
- Regardless of the size, condition, use, or maintenance of the septic system, local people are now being required to pay $300 to have their system pumped out and inspected every 2 and in some cases 3 years. The percentage of failing systems is minor, but the 90% of people with low risk, well maintained systems being forced to pay this fee for what is effectively no service.
- Local municipalities negotiated to add a tax to your cable bill. Check your bill out and it will say $0.40 or whatever directly to your local municipality each month. They'll pitch that as a fee to Comcast, but its written in the legislation to be an added tax to YOU the user. Currently many municipalities are negotiating to increase that fee. The major part of that negotiation is get Comcast to take the municipalities name off the bill. Still charge the tax mind you, just not disclose who it's going to. Oh, and the service provided to you the consumer for the fees paid, NOTHING...just the right to have cable !
I could go on and on, the example are numerous and in cases far more substantial than the two issues above. Point is...if you ain't driving the bus, then you're just along for the ride.
Take the small time it takes, read about what's going on, and get involved in your community.
Figure out what your local municipality is. Find out what vacancies exist and fill them. Boards, commissions, committees, whatever. At the very least, go the to municipal website and read what's going on.
Everyone's attention is on the national stage. People bicker about stuff that barely or indirectly affects them, macro issues like the national economy, abortion, race relations, etc.
Meanwhile, right in your back yard, decisions are being made that are going to directly affect where you live, how your children are educated, and how much of your tax dollars are being taken out of your pocket. And by and large those decisions are being made by self-serving and/or under-informed dolts.
I hate to put it like that, but by and large, people who have the biggest interests in what's going on tend to be the least involved. Either people have no interest in local government or the feel like they're already torn with jobs and children to allocate much time to the get involved. SO what you, in far too many cases, are those people who either crave the position, or who have nothing else going on ( obv. not always the case, but its getting worse every year).
Let me put some of those concerns to rest. Typically, this participation doesn't end up taking much of your time at all. Usually one or two nights a month. Secondly, even if you can't participate fully. Having 50% of a competent person is better than 100% dolt.
Don't believe me, here's a few examples:
- Regardless of the size, condition, use, or maintenance of the septic system, local people are now being required to pay $300 to have their system pumped out and inspected every 2 and in some cases 3 years. The percentage of failing systems is minor, but the 90% of people with low risk, well maintained systems being forced to pay this fee for what is effectively no service.
- Local municipalities negotiated to add a tax to your cable bill. Check your bill out and it will say $0.40 or whatever directly to your local municipality each month. They'll pitch that as a fee to Comcast, but its written in the legislation to be an added tax to YOU the user. Currently many municipalities are negotiating to increase that fee. The major part of that negotiation is get Comcast to take the municipalities name off the bill. Still charge the tax mind you, just not disclose who it's going to. Oh, and the service provided to you the consumer for the fees paid, NOTHING...just the right to have cable !
I could go on and on, the example are numerous and in cases far more substantial than the two issues above. Point is...if you ain't driving the bus, then you're just along for the ride.
Take the small time it takes, read about what's going on, and get involved in your community.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
droppin the old ka-nowledge
After a lengthy hiatus I finally have enough fitness to return to some of the local group rides.
About 2 hours into it on Sunday I looked down to see my front wheel sandwiched in six inches of space with someone's rear wheel on one side and gravel drop off on the other, and I risked life and limb to hide from the 20 mph wind blasting us into the gutter from left to right.
Finally the entire line moved left to avoid another one of the giant shit soup puddles of cow dung and snow melt and I had the opening I needed. I rode through the puddle, spraying myself and my water bottles with cow feces and using the draft to move up in the line.
When I got near the front I looked over to an old friend....both of us wet, tired, covered in mud and crap, and flat out fighting the wind...and said, " I can't believe I stayed away from this for 4 years....this is great !"
He laughed, thinking I was being sarcastic.
I wasn't.
Assuming I don't die from hoof and mouth disease, I'm already looking forward to next week.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Ron Paul making sense again
Cures for Our Economic Disease
I have recently had several opportunities on various news programs to discuss the economy and what is wrong with the so-called economic stimulus package. I have said over and over what we shouldn’t be doing, and now I’d like to explain what we should be doing.
But to improve the situation, you must first have a solid grasp of how we got here. Government policies and central planning created the housing bubble, now going bust. About a decade ago the government made expanded homeownership and affordable housing a public goal. Through Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and the secondary mortgage market the government incentivized creative, low down-payment, more widely available mortgage products, and discouraged the market-proven lending standards of the past. The Federal Reserve kept interest rates artificially low, which added more fuel to this fire. Many related sectors temporarily flourished because of this, and many people got into homes they otherwise could not have afforded. The increased demand for housing sent prices soaring until in many markets housing became even more unaffordable, necessitating even more creative mortgages, and impossibly leveraging homeowners. Many risky investment vehicles such as mortgage-backed securities, derivatives, credit default swaps grew out of this unsustainable situation. As the foreclosures began, the house of cards started to tumble. Too many people have confused the symptoms and the pain of the bust with the problematic policies that caused the bubble, which is really what needs to be treated.
First of all, just as the best cure for a hangover is not to drink so much, the best cure for a recession is a recession. It is time to sober up and return to free market sanity, risk and reward, supply and demand, without political intervention. Politicians are good at catering to the needs of special interests, but very bad at determining what needs to take place in the market. Government should stick to punishing fraud and enforcing contracts. When they use the tax code, bureaucratic departments and their manipulative rules and regulations to dictate social and economic behavior, we end up with distortions and malinvestments. Bailing out banks, continuing failed Fed policies and strapping the taxpayer with toxic debt will worsen the pain, and punish the innocent.
If Congress really wanted to do something helpful, it would cut taxes. Ideally, we would repeal the income tax altogether and get the IRS off the economy’s back, which would be a huge boon. We should also cut spending. Cut every unconstitutional department and program, every wasteful governmental encroachment on the people’s liberty and money, starting with our massive overseas empire. The cost of our empire is bringing us to our knees, just as the Soviets’ empire did to them. Congress should also abolish the Federal Reserve and take back its responsibilities to ensure sound money, safe from the manipulations of powerful banking interests.
These things would constitute real change, real economic stimulus. The plans being bandied about Washington are just more of the same. As long as no one seriously considers the cure, we are unfortunately destined to prolong the disease.
http://www.house.gov/paul/
I have recently had several opportunities on various news programs to discuss the economy and what is wrong with the so-called economic stimulus package. I have said over and over what we shouldn’t be doing, and now I’d like to explain what we should be doing.
But to improve the situation, you must first have a solid grasp of how we got here. Government policies and central planning created the housing bubble, now going bust. About a decade ago the government made expanded homeownership and affordable housing a public goal. Through Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and the secondary mortgage market the government incentivized creative, low down-payment, more widely available mortgage products, and discouraged the market-proven lending standards of the past. The Federal Reserve kept interest rates artificially low, which added more fuel to this fire. Many related sectors temporarily flourished because of this, and many people got into homes they otherwise could not have afforded. The increased demand for housing sent prices soaring until in many markets housing became even more unaffordable, necessitating even more creative mortgages, and impossibly leveraging homeowners. Many risky investment vehicles such as mortgage-backed securities, derivatives, credit default swaps grew out of this unsustainable situation. As the foreclosures began, the house of cards started to tumble. Too many people have confused the symptoms and the pain of the bust with the problematic policies that caused the bubble, which is really what needs to be treated.
First of all, just as the best cure for a hangover is not to drink so much, the best cure for a recession is a recession. It is time to sober up and return to free market sanity, risk and reward, supply and demand, without political intervention. Politicians are good at catering to the needs of special interests, but very bad at determining what needs to take place in the market. Government should stick to punishing fraud and enforcing contracts. When they use the tax code, bureaucratic departments and their manipulative rules and regulations to dictate social and economic behavior, we end up with distortions and malinvestments. Bailing out banks, continuing failed Fed policies and strapping the taxpayer with toxic debt will worsen the pain, and punish the innocent.
If Congress really wanted to do something helpful, it would cut taxes. Ideally, we would repeal the income tax altogether and get the IRS off the economy’s back, which would be a huge boon. We should also cut spending. Cut every unconstitutional department and program, every wasteful governmental encroachment on the people’s liberty and money, starting with our massive overseas empire. The cost of our empire is bringing us to our knees, just as the Soviets’ empire did to them. Congress should also abolish the Federal Reserve and take back its responsibilities to ensure sound money, safe from the manipulations of powerful banking interests.
These things would constitute real change, real economic stimulus. The plans being bandied about Washington are just more of the same. As long as no one seriously considers the cure, we are unfortunately destined to prolong the disease.
http://www.house.gov/paul/
Friday, February 06, 2009
an old friend
The last two months of sobriety has worked out really well for me.
So naturally, last night I decided it would be a good idea to have a few glasses of scotch.
It was like bumping into your ex-girlfriend out one night and then going home with her. At first it seems like a reasonable idea and a fun time. Then the next day you wake up and your very first thought is, " why did I do that" and you remember why you broke up with her in the first place.
Yeah, good times...I just hope it (the booze) realizes last evening was just a one night stand and doesn't assume that we're back into a relationship.
So naturally, last night I decided it would be a good idea to have a few glasses of scotch.
It was like bumping into your ex-girlfriend out one night and then going home with her. At first it seems like a reasonable idea and a fun time. Then the next day you wake up and your very first thought is, " why did I do that" and you remember why you broke up with her in the first place.
Yeah, good times...I just hope it (the booze) realizes last evening was just a one night stand and doesn't assume that we're back into a relationship.
Monday, February 02, 2009
LANCE NEWS NETWORK
Feb 02, 2009 - Austin, Tx
Headline: Lance Scratches His Ass.
Seven time Tour De France winner and semi-Deity Lance Armstrong scratched his ass today. The ass scratching occurred about one hour and forty-three minutes into a four hour training ride just outside of the Livestrong compound in Austin Texas. The ass scratching sent shockwaves through the cycling world as riders, journalists, and UCI president Pat McQuaid scrambled to respond the this afternoon's event.
Interviewed in Qatar after his stage win today Roger Hammond was asked about the ass scratching and how it would impact his chances in the tour. His response, " I'm not even racing the bloody Tour", showed just how intimidating Armstrong's return is the to peloton.
Alberto Contador issued a statement through his agent saying, " I continue to respect Lance's accomplishments, but ass scratching or no ass scratching, I still plan on being leader of the Astana team in July." Levi Leipheimer, also contacted this afternoon was surprised by the news, " Lance scratched his ass ? Really ? I would have happily scratched his ass, but I'm not due to be down there till Thursday. So your saying that new Spanish kid wasn't down there scratching his ass ? Well at least that's good."
The UCI's response came in the form of a press release from Pat McQuaid, " The UCI has recently learned of the increased incidents of ass scratching in the peloton. We'd directed WADA to immediately begin work on a finding a test. We hope to eradicated this egregious scratching of the buttocks and all other hind quarter areas."
The only one seeming unconcerned with the hoopla was Armstrong confidant and wingman John College Korioth, " Yeah dude, I just put the official Livestrong ass scratchers up on the website..in both black with yellow trim and vice-versa. We're hoping these sell better than the Mary-Kate and Ashley commemorative diaphragms, cause the big pool off the guesthouse needs a new filter...oh yeah, and to save the cancer kids and shit."
Headline: Lance Scratches His Ass.
Seven time Tour De France winner and semi-Deity Lance Armstrong scratched his ass today. The ass scratching occurred about one hour and forty-three minutes into a four hour training ride just outside of the Livestrong compound in Austin Texas. The ass scratching sent shockwaves through the cycling world as riders, journalists, and UCI president Pat McQuaid scrambled to respond the this afternoon's event.
Interviewed in Qatar after his stage win today Roger Hammond was asked about the ass scratching and how it would impact his chances in the tour. His response, " I'm not even racing the bloody Tour", showed just how intimidating Armstrong's return is the to peloton.
Alberto Contador issued a statement through his agent saying, " I continue to respect Lance's accomplishments, but ass scratching or no ass scratching, I still plan on being leader of the Astana team in July." Levi Leipheimer, also contacted this afternoon was surprised by the news, " Lance scratched his ass ? Really ? I would have happily scratched his ass, but I'm not due to be down there till Thursday. So your saying that new Spanish kid wasn't down there scratching his ass ? Well at least that's good."
The UCI's response came in the form of a press release from Pat McQuaid, " The UCI has recently learned of the increased incidents of ass scratching in the peloton. We'd directed WADA to immediately begin work on a finding a test. We hope to eradicated this egregious scratching of the buttocks and all other hind quarter areas."
The only one seeming unconcerned with the hoopla was Armstrong confidant and wingman John College Korioth, " Yeah dude, I just put the official Livestrong ass scratchers up on the website..in both black with yellow trim and vice-versa. We're hoping these sell better than the Mary-Kate and Ashley commemorative diaphragms, cause the big pool off the guesthouse needs a new filter...oh yeah, and to save the cancer kids and shit."
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tony Clifton
I just poached this from Guys From Area 51 Click over to their site. Very funny stuff. I have no idea who they area, but I'm a fan.
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA !!!!
If you were born after 1972, HERE is the reference.
Good stuff.
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA !!!!
If you were born after 1972, HERE is the reference.
Good stuff.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A Matter of Perspective
I walked into the kitchen to find Mrs. Flick saying. " We're going to be late !........We have to go !.....We're going to be laaaaate !",
I looked around and "The Boy" was playing with the radio, "The Therapist" was drawing something, and I had no idea where "Hot Gril" was.
" We're going to be late.", she said to me, " and the kids wont listen to me !"
" What did you tell them to do "?, I asked sincerely.
" You just HEARD me!", she said getting increasinly frustrated.
" I heard you say that you were going to be late and that you had to go.", I said, " I didn't hear you tell THEM to DO anything."
Sarcastic and pissed, with a theatrical fliar she said, " Ohhhhhh pardon me. CHILDREN ! Puh-leeeeze go outside and get into the van right nooooowww." and sort of rolled her eyes.
With that, "The Boy" walked over put on his coat, "The Therapist" put down her pencil and "Hot Gril" came walking out of the bathroom. They all walked outside and got into the van.
Mrs. Flick looked at me half shocked ...ok 1/3rd shocked. The rest of what was left looked like she was going to kill me. Then she just laughed, shook her head, and walked out the door.
I looked around and "The Boy" was playing with the radio, "The Therapist" was drawing something, and I had no idea where "Hot Gril" was.
" We're going to be late.", she said to me, " and the kids wont listen to me !"
" What did you tell them to do "?, I asked sincerely.
" You just HEARD me!", she said getting increasinly frustrated.
" I heard you say that you were going to be late and that you had to go.", I said, " I didn't hear you tell THEM to DO anything."
Sarcastic and pissed, with a theatrical fliar she said, " Ohhhhhh pardon me. CHILDREN ! Puh-leeeeze go outside and get into the van right nooooowww." and sort of rolled her eyes.
With that, "The Boy" walked over put on his coat, "The Therapist" put down her pencil and "Hot Gril" came walking out of the bathroom. They all walked outside and got into the van.
Mrs. Flick looked at me half shocked ...ok 1/3rd shocked. The rest of what was left looked like she was going to kill me. Then she just laughed, shook her head, and walked out the door.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
your man on the inside
Most governmental problems arise from two sources, ego and apathy.
While this might seem overly simplistic to some and obvious to others, as someone who has worked in the business for over a dozen years, I've found it shocking.
You see, I've always assumed the best in people and I've always has a fair amount of faith that the cream always rises to the top. Sadly, experience is teaching me thats not necessarily the case, especially in government. Lets break it down like this.
For the elected.
- In order to get into office, you have to run for office. To run for office you have to go out and get petitions signed. This entails walking around asking people for their approval and signature. For that you either need no ego or a super-duper ego.
-Then you need to put yourself on a ballot and have people examine, prod, interrogate, and eventually choose or reject you. Again, you either have to have a huge thirst for that sort of attention ( which would make you a narcissist) or you'd have to be immune to that sort of abuse ( which would make you a sociopath).
- Finally, once you get elected, every decision that you make is going to be subject to criticism, ridicule, and protest. The exception to this would be if you're handing people money without asking them for anything in return...which is the only time you actually see your elected officials if they can help it.
So you can see that the very process itself eliminates most capable, reasonable folks who have neither the time nor inclination to subject themselves to that sort of abuse and scrutiny.
Largely, what you're left with are people adamantly seeking the approval of some, adamantly rejecting the protests of others, and using the powers of their office as tools to do both.
For the non-elected government employees.
- If they're state or federal unionized employees...forget about it. Its going to take even the most enthusiastic well intentioned new employee about two weeks to stop giving a shit. Its a lousy culture where seniority trumps ability and hard work is not only not rewarded, its discouraged.
- For non-union employees you do have some hope. Your hope there is that their enthusiasm lasts a total of four weeks. You see, most governmental jobs entail telling people who should be able to do stuff that they can't....and telling people who shouldn't be able to do stuff, that they can. If you're wondering why that is, please re-read the last part of the elected officials section about using the tools of their office.
So where does that leave you, the public ? Well the bad news is that it doesn't leave you in very good shape. The good news is that once you realize this, then you actually have a chance to beat the system. Like a Judo champion, you have to learn to use the weight and momentum of your opponent against him. You have to make all that ego and apathy work for you instead of against you.
How can you do that ? Well that's a post for another time. For now, my advice is that anytime you have to do anything with the government....build an addition, seek remedy for a neighborhood problem, deal with a new tax, etc etc that you drop me an email first. My personal experience is that 20%-30% of the time, you're being ripped off or being given bad information. So drop me an email. I'm happy to be your man on the inside.
While this might seem overly simplistic to some and obvious to others, as someone who has worked in the business for over a dozen years, I've found it shocking.
You see, I've always assumed the best in people and I've always has a fair amount of faith that the cream always rises to the top. Sadly, experience is teaching me thats not necessarily the case, especially in government. Lets break it down like this.
For the elected.
- In order to get into office, you have to run for office. To run for office you have to go out and get petitions signed. This entails walking around asking people for their approval and signature. For that you either need no ego or a super-duper ego.
-Then you need to put yourself on a ballot and have people examine, prod, interrogate, and eventually choose or reject you. Again, you either have to have a huge thirst for that sort of attention ( which would make you a narcissist) or you'd have to be immune to that sort of abuse ( which would make you a sociopath).
- Finally, once you get elected, every decision that you make is going to be subject to criticism, ridicule, and protest. The exception to this would be if you're handing people money without asking them for anything in return...which is the only time you actually see your elected officials if they can help it.
So you can see that the very process itself eliminates most capable, reasonable folks who have neither the time nor inclination to subject themselves to that sort of abuse and scrutiny.
Largely, what you're left with are people adamantly seeking the approval of some, adamantly rejecting the protests of others, and using the powers of their office as tools to do both.
For the non-elected government employees.
- If they're state or federal unionized employees...forget about it. Its going to take even the most enthusiastic well intentioned new employee about two weeks to stop giving a shit. Its a lousy culture where seniority trumps ability and hard work is not only not rewarded, its discouraged.
- For non-union employees you do have some hope. Your hope there is that their enthusiasm lasts a total of four weeks. You see, most governmental jobs entail telling people who should be able to do stuff that they can't....and telling people who shouldn't be able to do stuff, that they can. If you're wondering why that is, please re-read the last part of the elected officials section about using the tools of their office.
So where does that leave you, the public ? Well the bad news is that it doesn't leave you in very good shape. The good news is that once you realize this, then you actually have a chance to beat the system. Like a Judo champion, you have to learn to use the weight and momentum of your opponent against him. You have to make all that ego and apathy work for you instead of against you.
How can you do that ? Well that's a post for another time. For now, my advice is that anytime you have to do anything with the government....build an addition, seek remedy for a neighborhood problem, deal with a new tax, etc etc that you drop me an email first. My personal experience is that 20%-30% of the time, you're being ripped off or being given bad information. So drop me an email. I'm happy to be your man on the inside.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
diorama suckers
And the next two pictures would have had an entirely different connotation 20 years ago.
Thompson
In the staff meeting this morning
me: I have a question about past policy. I notice that you and I both called Thompson for an engineering consultation and that we're passing that charge along to the applicant. In instances where we're the ones asking for the consult, should be bear that cost ?
kook: I haven't called Thompson in ...well.....since like Novermber
me: Ok. I'm asking if we should eat that cost or if we should pass that along ?
kook: Maybe it was early December, but I think it was November.
me (staring blankly)
kook: It was November I'm sure of it, it was around Thanksgiving.
me: I don't need to know WHEN, I need to know who pays for it.
kook: If you have a problem with me calling Thompson, then I wont call him without asking you first.
me: WHAT ?!
kook: I never call Thompson unless its absolutly necessary, and now you're saying I use Thompson too much.
me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ?
kook: I call Thompson when we need Thompson, i just don't call Thompson to call Thompson
me: (staring astonished)
kook: Thompson...Thomp....son, Thompson
me: Is there any way that you coul...
kook: Thompson
me: could please stop talking. Seriously, please just stop talking
kook: urmph-son...urmph
me: ( head on the table)
me: I have a question about past policy. I notice that you and I both called Thompson for an engineering consultation and that we're passing that charge along to the applicant. In instances where we're the ones asking for the consult, should be bear that cost ?
kook: I haven't called Thompson in ...well.....since like Novermber
me: Ok. I'm asking if we should eat that cost or if we should pass that along ?
kook: Maybe it was early December, but I think it was November.
me (staring blankly)
kook: It was November I'm sure of it, it was around Thanksgiving.
me: I don't need to know WHEN, I need to know who pays for it.
kook: If you have a problem with me calling Thompson, then I wont call him without asking you first.
me: WHAT ?!
kook: I never call Thompson unless its absolutly necessary, and now you're saying I use Thompson too much.
me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ?
kook: I call Thompson when we need Thompson, i just don't call Thompson to call Thompson
me: (staring astonished)
kook: Thompson...Thomp....son, Thompson
me: Is there any way that you coul...
kook: Thompson
me: could please stop talking. Seriously, please just stop talking
kook: urmph-son...urmph
me: ( head on the table)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
one more
I'm on a movie kick and a reading kick. I need something to fill my nights now that I'm not spending that time sitting in a bar...or sleeping. The voices have been particularly annoying lately and last nights dreams involved rabid leaping iguanas, very unsettling.
Anyway FWIW:
Movie
Half Nelson. Junior High teacher smokes crack. Worth getting but about 30% longer than necessary. Shareeka Epps is going to be a star someday.
Books
A Dog In A Hat, by Joe Parkin. Joe Parkin's account of his experiences as an American bicycle racer in Belgium in the late 80's. Easy read, fun, interesting. A lot is being made about the sections on drugs. The book does take an honest look at drugs in cycling, but offers a good bit more than that. Recommended.
Goodbye Amelia by Simone Felice. I got this because I'm a fan of the Felice Brothers and this book had decent reviews. Its essentially a short story followed by a series of poems. I couldn't get through the poems and I found the short story to be depressing. The text is written with the feel of song lyrics which might be good for a CD jewel case, but starts to lose its appeal after 40 pages. There are parts that tease with being really well done, but just miss the mark. This is Felice's first book, and I suspect that he'll get better in time. Not recommended.
Anyway FWIW:
Movie
Half Nelson. Junior High teacher smokes crack. Worth getting but about 30% longer than necessary. Shareeka Epps is going to be a star someday.
Books
A Dog In A Hat, by Joe Parkin. Joe Parkin's account of his experiences as an American bicycle racer in Belgium in the late 80's. Easy read, fun, interesting. A lot is being made about the sections on drugs. The book does take an honest look at drugs in cycling, but offers a good bit more than that. Recommended.
Goodbye Amelia by Simone Felice. I got this because I'm a fan of the Felice Brothers and this book had decent reviews. Its essentially a short story followed by a series of poems. I couldn't get through the poems and I found the short story to be depressing. The text is written with the feel of song lyrics which might be good for a CD jewel case, but starts to lose its appeal after 40 pages. There are parts that tease with being really well done, but just miss the mark. This is Felice's first book, and I suspect that he'll get better in time. Not recommended.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Movie Recommendations
A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints Highly recommended. Incredible directorial debut, amazing cast, compelling story. Best film I've seen in the last 12 months. Currently on Comcast On Demand under the Sundance Channel.
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. Watched it because it showed up On Demand 1 day after I looked up Lorraine Bracco on imdb and figured it was fate. I may have been wrong. Great cast, but poorly done. Save yourself the trouble.
Dig!. Documentary that follows two bands on opposite paths. The upward rise of the less talented but more sane Dandy Warhols set a fitting backdrop against the death spiral of amazingly talented and self-destructive Anton Newcomb and his Brian Jonestown Massacre. Highly recommended. Great music.
The Bridge. Compelling documentary. Eric Steel filmed the Golden Gate Bridge from two locations for all of 2004, and then followed up with stories about the people who attempted and committed suicide from the bridge during that period. Not particularly uplifting but very compelling. I'll recommend it, but caution that its likely to be watched at an emotional expense.
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. Watched it because it showed up On Demand 1 day after I looked up Lorraine Bracco on imdb and figured it was fate. I may have been wrong. Great cast, but poorly done. Save yourself the trouble.
Dig!. Documentary that follows two bands on opposite paths. The upward rise of the less talented but more sane Dandy Warhols set a fitting backdrop against the death spiral of amazingly talented and self-destructive Anton Newcomb and his Brian Jonestown Massacre. Highly recommended. Great music.
The Bridge. Compelling documentary. Eric Steel filmed the Golden Gate Bridge from two locations for all of 2004, and then followed up with stories about the people who attempted and committed suicide from the bridge during that period. Not particularly uplifting but very compelling. I'll recommend it, but caution that its likely to be watched at an emotional expense.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Fire Truck McGee
I have a guy who works for me who has Bullshittopian-Onset Deafness. He gets louder and louder everytime he's feeding me a line of crap. He just spent the last 10 minutes screaming at the top of his lungs. He finally stopped when I put my head on my desk and just started shaking it back and forth. I still have no idea what he was talking about.
I have a woman who works here who I affectionately call PAT. That's short for Passive-Aggressive Alec Trebek. She only phrases sentences in the form of a question, and the question is always some attempts to make a point to rat-out someone. So I make every attempt to directly answer her question, and only her question, with no additional comment. The conversations go something like this:
PAT: How long are people supposed to take break ?
ME: 15 minutes
PAT: Umm, did you let anyone take a 20 minute break this morning ?
ME: No.
PAT: (pause...baffled...waiting for me to ask her why)
ME: ( staring at her blankly)
PAT: So you didn't let anyone do that ?
ME: ( more staring )
PAT: ( nervously shuffles away and goes to her office to cry)
Finally I have a woman who is confused. That's the most polite was to put it. So when she has to make a decission, which is essentially the main part of her job, he just arbitrarily picks some standard phrase out of a hat. I don't mean that metaphoricly, I mean there's a fairly good chance that she has a hat which some standard phrases in it, and when faced with a dilemma, she goes to the hat. The result is that regardless of what other information you provide, or arguement you make, you're going to get "the hat".
HAT: It can't be more than 14 feet.
ME: I'm not asking for its width, I'm asking what material is it made of.
HAT: Right, ok.
ME: So ??????
HAT: 14 feet.
ME: 14 feet ? WTF ?! What does that have to do with my question ?
HAT: Yeah, 14 feet. That's the widest it can be. Right. 14 feet.
It's Monday. There's no way that we all make it past Wednesay. By we I mean me, them and sobriety. Somebody is going to have to go.
I have a woman who works here who I affectionately call PAT. That's short for Passive-Aggressive Alec Trebek. She only phrases sentences in the form of a question, and the question is always some attempts to make a point to rat-out someone. So I make every attempt to directly answer her question, and only her question, with no additional comment. The conversations go something like this:
PAT: How long are people supposed to take break ?
ME: 15 minutes
PAT: Umm, did you let anyone take a 20 minute break this morning ?
ME: No.
PAT: (pause...baffled...waiting for me to ask her why)
ME: ( staring at her blankly)
PAT: So you didn't let anyone do that ?
ME: ( more staring )
PAT: ( nervously shuffles away and goes to her office to cry)
Finally I have a woman who is confused. That's the most polite was to put it. So when she has to make a decission, which is essentially the main part of her job, he just arbitrarily picks some standard phrase out of a hat. I don't mean that metaphoricly, I mean there's a fairly good chance that she has a hat which some standard phrases in it, and when faced with a dilemma, she goes to the hat. The result is that regardless of what other information you provide, or arguement you make, you're going to get "the hat".
HAT: It can't be more than 14 feet.
ME: I'm not asking for its width, I'm asking what material is it made of.
HAT: Right, ok.
ME: So ??????
HAT: 14 feet.
ME: 14 feet ? WTF ?! What does that have to do with my question ?
HAT: Yeah, 14 feet. That's the widest it can be. Right. 14 feet.
It's Monday. There's no way that we all make it past Wednesay. By we I mean me, them and sobriety. Somebody is going to have to go.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
fianlly
I finally figured out how to switch my blogger acct from my yahoo email address to my gmail address. This probably doesn't sound like a big deal to you, but its a real pain in the ass to switch back and forth especially since blogger automatically logs you out of gmail when you log into blogger under another email address.
This should just about end my relationship with yahoo. Coincidentally it comes are just about the time when I'm starting to harbor some real resentment for google.
Here's the deal with google. At this point they have my email, they're quickly accumulating most of my documents with their free office package, I realized today they have one of my credit cards, the have all of my family pictures...
Yeah I know that google is a front for the CIA and yes I know they're the first real incarnation of Big Brother and google will eventually enslave all of mankind.... but come on, their shit is really really good.
Screw it, I'm gonna be someone's slave I might as well have the most convenient master.
This should just about end my relationship with yahoo. Coincidentally it comes are just about the time when I'm starting to harbor some real resentment for google.
Here's the deal with google. At this point they have my email, they're quickly accumulating most of my documents with their free office package, I realized today they have one of my credit cards, the have all of my family pictures...
Yeah I know that google is a front for the CIA and yes I know they're the first real incarnation of Big Brother and google will eventually enslave all of mankind.... but come on, their shit is really really good.
Screw it, I'm gonna be someone's slave I might as well have the most convenient master.
Friday, January 09, 2009
playing hookie
Instead of work and school, I got the kids up early yesterday and we went skiing.
Yesterday was "Pennsylvania Learn to Ski Day" and you could ski at any participating location for $10. Yeah $10. That included the pass, lessons, skis, boots, etc. Too good to pass up.
The only catch was that I had an important work meeting at 3 pm. This wasn't going to be a problem as we would ski from 9:00 am until around 1:00 pm putting me back in town at around 2:00...2:20. Well it wasn't going to be a problem until I hit dead stop traffic on I-83.
I called Mrs. Flick and asked that she meet me at work with some clothes as it would have been awkward to attend the meeting in snowpants. Then, driving in a manner that allowed for my creative side to shine through, I busted a move and headed directly to work.
I arrived in the parking lot at, literally, 2:58 pm. Anxious to get inside and desperately having to pee, I grabbed a pile of clothes and a bag from Mrs. Flick and ran into my office. Instead of running upstairs to where the meeting was I ran into the public bathroom downstairs figuring I could take care of the peeing problem right away, and at the same time change downstairs and save all appearances.
I entered the bathroom and locked the door behind me. As I stood at the uninal relieving my most immediate problem I made best use of time by stripping down. Off went the jacket and shirt, down went my snowpants and longjohns, and I tossed the hat and glasses to the ground behind me.
That's when I found out that the lock in the public bathroom doesn't work.
As I was standing there the door flew open and some old-timer walked in.
" HEY !!!!", I yelled startled.
The old timer looked up surprised and got an eyefull of me standing there stark naked at the urinal with my pants around my ankles, and with clothes and bags strewn around the bathroom and sink.
" WHAT IN _THE_ HELL IS GOING ON !" he yelled with a big emphasis on the THE.
" I'm IN here, just gimme a second !", I countered trying to sound as assertive as a man can while trying not to trip over his own underwear.
He backed up and slammed the door.
I could hear him out there mumbling, so instead of getting fully dressed I threw on my dress pants and hastily buttoned my dress shirt. Then as best I could I picked up all my stuff in a big dangling pile.
By the puzzled and somewhat disgusted look on his face, I suspect ( esp. with me carrying the bags, no shoes, and hair standing on end) that he took me for some sort of homeless guy.
I opened the door and hustled past him quickly, " Have at it pal, Its all yours."
Yesterday was "Pennsylvania Learn to Ski Day" and you could ski at any participating location for $10. Yeah $10. That included the pass, lessons, skis, boots, etc. Too good to pass up.
The only catch was that I had an important work meeting at 3 pm. This wasn't going to be a problem as we would ski from 9:00 am until around 1:00 pm putting me back in town at around 2:00...2:20. Well it wasn't going to be a problem until I hit dead stop traffic on I-83.
I called Mrs. Flick and asked that she meet me at work with some clothes as it would have been awkward to attend the meeting in snowpants. Then, driving in a manner that allowed for my creative side to shine through, I busted a move and headed directly to work.
I arrived in the parking lot at, literally, 2:58 pm. Anxious to get inside and desperately having to pee, I grabbed a pile of clothes and a bag from Mrs. Flick and ran into my office. Instead of running upstairs to where the meeting was I ran into the public bathroom downstairs figuring I could take care of the peeing problem right away, and at the same time change downstairs and save all appearances.
I entered the bathroom and locked the door behind me. As I stood at the uninal relieving my most immediate problem I made best use of time by stripping down. Off went the jacket and shirt, down went my snowpants and longjohns, and I tossed the hat and glasses to the ground behind me.
That's when I found out that the lock in the public bathroom doesn't work.
As I was standing there the door flew open and some old-timer walked in.
" HEY !!!!", I yelled startled.
The old timer looked up surprised and got an eyefull of me standing there stark naked at the urinal with my pants around my ankles, and with clothes and bags strewn around the bathroom and sink.
" WHAT IN _THE_ HELL IS GOING ON !" he yelled with a big emphasis on the THE.
" I'm IN here, just gimme a second !", I countered trying to sound as assertive as a man can while trying not to trip over his own underwear.
He backed up and slammed the door.
I could hear him out there mumbling, so instead of getting fully dressed I threw on my dress pants and hastily buttoned my dress shirt. Then as best I could I picked up all my stuff in a big dangling pile.
By the puzzled and somewhat disgusted look on his face, I suspect ( esp. with me carrying the bags, no shoes, and hair standing on end) that he took me for some sort of homeless guy.
I opened the door and hustled past him quickly, " Have at it pal, Its all yours."
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
boastful - so what its my blog
I just completed 12 weeks of a return to exercise.
90 hours
over 20 miles of swimming
800+ miles of cycling
115 miles of running
and I went from 209 down to 201 lbs.
I know that's pretty pedestrian to some of the people who read this, but I'm pretty happy with it. I at least feel like I'm turning the boat around and heading in the right direction.
90 hours
over 20 miles of swimming
800+ miles of cycling
115 miles of running
and I went from 209 down to 201 lbs.
I know that's pretty pedestrian to some of the people who read this, but I'm pretty happy with it. I at least feel like I'm turning the boat around and heading in the right direction.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
on the contrary - conversation with a 6 year old
Did you have fun at school today ?
- no
Well then did you learn anything ?
- no
Come on, don't be like that you like school.
- no I don't
You're just being a contrarian.
- no I'm not
Do you even know what a contrarian is ?
- no
It means that you're disagreeing just for the sake of disagreeing.
- (pause) no I'm not.
- no
Well then did you learn anything ?
- no
Come on, don't be like that you like school.
- no I don't
You're just being a contrarian.
- no I'm not
Do you even know what a contrarian is ?
- no
It means that you're disagreeing just for the sake of disagreeing.
- (pause) no I'm not.
Monday, January 05, 2009
grand idea
The Butt Sling (tm)(c)(patent pending)(etc etc)
This device, which easily fits in a purse or jacket pocket would allow the user go in a public bathroom without having to touch anything.
The hooks go onto the stall walls, and the user sits in the sling. You'd still have to keep your feet on the ground...this isn't a swing or carnival ride....but you lean back into in and are perched above the seat itself.
I was going to get a picture of a stall and then photoshop to demostrate the sling in action, but my setting is currenly on " don't filter my searches" instead of "moderate safe search" and the first batch of images that came back for "bathroom stall" were too repullsive to continue.
This device, which easily fits in a purse or jacket pocket would allow the user go in a public bathroom without having to touch anything.
The hooks go onto the stall walls, and the user sits in the sling. You'd still have to keep your feet on the ground...this isn't a swing or carnival ride....but you lean back into in and are perched above the seat itself.
I was going to get a picture of a stall and then photoshop to demostrate the sling in action, but my setting is currenly on " don't filter my searches" instead of "moderate safe search" and the first batch of images that came back for "bathroom stall" were too repullsive to continue.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Billie Joe McCallister
The annual family Christmas party is always enjoyable and insightful.
The year the dessert table discussion revolved around the song Ode to Billie Joe, the lyrics and the motivations of Billie Joe for jumping of the Tallahatchie Bridge.
After much debate and discussion we were all informed by Uncle Walt that Billie Joe jumped off the bridge was a result of his having had a homosexual experience. This incited a riot that culminated with Uncle Walt screaming over and over, " having a gay experience does not make you gay !" and then suggesting that perhaps the other members of the family might do well to get off their fat asses and go to a library once in a while.
Of course Uncle Larry asked, " Should we browse around or go straight to the gay section ?"
In any case, I got a kick out of this today...go down to the heading titled Novel and Screenplay Adaptations.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode_to_Billie_Joe
The year the dessert table discussion revolved around the song Ode to Billie Joe, the lyrics and the motivations of Billie Joe for jumping of the Tallahatchie Bridge.
After much debate and discussion we were all informed by Uncle Walt that Billie Joe jumped off the bridge was a result of his having had a homosexual experience. This incited a riot that culminated with Uncle Walt screaming over and over, " having a gay experience does not make you gay !" and then suggesting that perhaps the other members of the family might do well to get off their fat asses and go to a library once in a while.
Of course Uncle Larry asked, " Should we browse around or go straight to the gay section ?"
In any case, I got a kick out of this today...go down to the heading titled Novel and Screenplay Adaptations.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode_to_Billie_Joe
The voices...the voices
So I took a vacation from drinking. I'm trying to work out more and I need to lose some weight, and the drinking was proving to be counter productive to both of those endeavors. So until I get down to fighting weight, I've decided to lay off the sauce.
Its been about a month.
First two weeks were no problem. I was motivated, I was focused, frankly I was probably still fairly pickled.
Third week, mostly out of habit, I could have used a beer. But all in all it wasn't that tough to abstain, especially as I was feeling better and I was starting to see some weight come off.
The fourth week has brought about some unexpected consequences. I've come to remember one of the reasons that I drink in the first place....the voices.
Well they're less voice and more random thoughts. Hmmm, maybe I can explain it this way. Have you ever (over)loaded the back of a van for a long trip ? You get everything in there and then quick-shut the door. Well that's what drinking has done for me. To stay with the analogy, have you ever gotten to the end of your trip and lifted the read hatch only to have all the shit that you crammed back come pouring out onto the driveway in a giant avalanche of diaper bags, luggage, and holiday deserts ? That's what stopping drinking has done for me.
So,years and and years of random disassociated thoughts that have been well crammed behind a sturdy wall of scotch have suddenly decided to pour out all over my mental driveway. That in and of itself would be tolerable, but the resultant increase in my daily mental faculties due to a lack of a steady running hangover has also provided me substantially extra RAM to create an entirely new batch of disassociated thoughts that are sometimes funny, often scary, and ultimately exhausting.
Stuff like:
- wondering if child molesters covertly use midget porn as a legal, if somewhat unsatisfying alternative, and if so how that revelation might be used for the benefit of mankind.
- thinking about using farting as an effective anti-tobacco political statement. As in, would farting in the face of a smoker provide them some perspective on the situation ? Then wondering about the unintended, but potentially entertaining, consequences of uniting flatulence and flame.
- revisiting the idea of putting the shortstop between the pitcher and the catcher to obscure the vision of the batter and wondering how many games you could do it before the commissioner would convene a special meeting of the rules committee.
- Trying to come up with 5 common, yet funny, scenarios where I could use the phrases " It's no..." and " It's not..." in ways that it sounds like " Its snow..." and "Its snot.." and getting stuck at 1....OK, at 0.
And that's just a sample of stuff from like this morning...between alarm clock snoozes.
Anyway, I'm starting to wonder if perhaps, at least in my case, that the drinking might be the safer alternative.
Its been about a month.
First two weeks were no problem. I was motivated, I was focused, frankly I was probably still fairly pickled.
Third week, mostly out of habit, I could have used a beer. But all in all it wasn't that tough to abstain, especially as I was feeling better and I was starting to see some weight come off.
The fourth week has brought about some unexpected consequences. I've come to remember one of the reasons that I drink in the first place....the voices.
Well they're less voice and more random thoughts. Hmmm, maybe I can explain it this way. Have you ever (over)loaded the back of a van for a long trip ? You get everything in there and then quick-shut the door. Well that's what drinking has done for me. To stay with the analogy, have you ever gotten to the end of your trip and lifted the read hatch only to have all the shit that you crammed back come pouring out onto the driveway in a giant avalanche of diaper bags, luggage, and holiday deserts ? That's what stopping drinking has done for me.
So,years and and years of random disassociated thoughts that have been well crammed behind a sturdy wall of scotch have suddenly decided to pour out all over my mental driveway. That in and of itself would be tolerable, but the resultant increase in my daily mental faculties due to a lack of a steady running hangover has also provided me substantially extra RAM to create an entirely new batch of disassociated thoughts that are sometimes funny, often scary, and ultimately exhausting.
Stuff like:
- wondering if child molesters covertly use midget porn as a legal, if somewhat unsatisfying alternative, and if so how that revelation might be used for the benefit of mankind.
- thinking about using farting as an effective anti-tobacco political statement. As in, would farting in the face of a smoker provide them some perspective on the situation ? Then wondering about the unintended, but potentially entertaining, consequences of uniting flatulence and flame.
- revisiting the idea of putting the shortstop between the pitcher and the catcher to obscure the vision of the batter and wondering how many games you could do it before the commissioner would convene a special meeting of the rules committee.
- Trying to come up with 5 common, yet funny, scenarios where I could use the phrases " It's no..." and " It's not..." in ways that it sounds like " Its snow..." and "Its snot.." and getting stuck at 1....OK, at 0.
And that's just a sample of stuff from like this morning...between alarm clock snoozes.
Anyway, I'm starting to wonder if perhaps, at least in my case, that the drinking might be the safer alternative.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Fucking Clueless
Laura Bush: Shoe thrower lucky Saddam gone
Last update: 6:29 p.m. EST Dec. 28, 2008
WASHINGTON, Dec 28, 2008 (UPI via COMTEX) -- U.S. first lady Laura Bush says she isn't laughing off the incident in Iraq in which a reporter disrupted a news conference by hurling his shoes at her man.
....
She added that the fact the offender would be released sooner rather than later was an indication of the new freedoms Iraqis are enjoying since the overthrow of Saddam Hussein.
"I know that if Saddam Hussein had been there, the man wouldn't have been released," she said. "He probably would have been executed."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Friday morning, November 16, 2007, al-Zaidi was kidnapped on his way to work in central Baghdad. Unknown armed men forced him into a car, where he was beaten until he lost consciousness. The assailants used al-Zaidi's necktie to blindfold him and bound his hands with shoelaces.
Injuries
According to witnesses, al-Zaidi was "severely beaten" by security officers after he had been dragged out of the room following the shoe-throwing incident.[32] As the man's screaming could be heard outside, Bush said "That’s what people do in a free society, draw attention to themselves."[21] A "large blood trail" could be seen on the carpet where al-Zaidi had been dragged by security agents.[33][34] Dawa-owned Afaq TV reported that security forces kicked al-Zaidi and beat him.[21] His family reports that it has received many threatening phone calls.[35] The United States Secret Service and the Iraqi Police took custody of al-Zaidi.[36] Al-Zaidi was tested for alcohol and drugs, and his shoes were confiscated as evidence.[37] Al-Zaidi was interrogated by Iraqi and U.S. agents to ascertain whether anyone paid him to throw his shoes at Bush.[38] In an interview with BBC News, al-Zaidi's brother, Durgham al-Zaidi, reported that Muntadhar al-Zaidi suffered a broken hand, broken ribs, internal bleeding, and an eye injury.[9] Durgham al-Zaidi told Al Jazeera that his brother was tortured.[39] Al-Baghdadia TV said that al-Zaidi was "seriously injured" during his detention.[39] Al Sharqiya also points to signs of injury on his thighs and an immobile right arm. However, a different brother, Maitham al-Zaidi, spoke with Muntadhar on the phone and was told: "Thank God I am in good health."[38] On Friday 19 December Dhia al-Kinani, the Judge investigating the case, said there were signs al-Zaidi had been beaten; al-Zaidi had bruises on his face and around his eyes.[40] The Judge also said al-Zaidi had not yet raised a formal charge relating to his injuries.[40] His lawyer, Dhiya'a al-Sa'adi, has also confirmed that al-Zaidi had been beaten, stating that "there are visible signs of torture on his body".[41]
Yeah Laura...this guys doing just great under your husband's " NEW FREEDOMS" you thick cunt.
This was a chance for Bush to step up and set an example for law, order, and freedom. A chance to show the differences between Saddam and democracy. Instead he allows this man to be tortured and sends his wife out to blather on about how "lucky" the guys is. Yet another opportunity lost and more reason for the world to hate America.
All you need to know is on this video from 2:10 - 2:25 where, in response to the reporter pointing out that terrorism didn't come to Iraq until AFTER the invasion, " So What". Hundreds of thousands dead, more maimed, and an entire region in disarray and this shitbag's response....." so what". Thank God its only another 22 days.
Last update: 6:29 p.m. EST Dec. 28, 2008
WASHINGTON, Dec 28, 2008 (UPI via COMTEX) -- U.S. first lady Laura Bush says she isn't laughing off the incident in Iraq in which a reporter disrupted a news conference by hurling his shoes at her man.
....
She added that the fact the offender would be released sooner rather than later was an indication of the new freedoms Iraqis are enjoying since the overthrow of Saddam Hussein.
"I know that if Saddam Hussein had been there, the man wouldn't have been released," she said. "He probably would have been executed."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Friday morning, November 16, 2007, al-Zaidi was kidnapped on his way to work in central Baghdad. Unknown armed men forced him into a car, where he was beaten until he lost consciousness. The assailants used al-Zaidi's necktie to blindfold him and bound his hands with shoelaces.
Injuries
According to witnesses, al-Zaidi was "severely beaten" by security officers after he had been dragged out of the room following the shoe-throwing incident.[32] As the man's screaming could be heard outside, Bush said "That’s what people do in a free society, draw attention to themselves."[21] A "large blood trail" could be seen on the carpet where al-Zaidi had been dragged by security agents.[33][34] Dawa-owned Afaq TV reported that security forces kicked al-Zaidi and beat him.[21] His family reports that it has received many threatening phone calls.[35] The United States Secret Service and the Iraqi Police took custody of al-Zaidi.[36] Al-Zaidi was tested for alcohol and drugs, and his shoes were confiscated as evidence.[37] Al-Zaidi was interrogated by Iraqi and U.S. agents to ascertain whether anyone paid him to throw his shoes at Bush.[38] In an interview with BBC News, al-Zaidi's brother, Durgham al-Zaidi, reported that Muntadhar al-Zaidi suffered a broken hand, broken ribs, internal bleeding, and an eye injury.[9] Durgham al-Zaidi told Al Jazeera that his brother was tortured.[39] Al-Baghdadia TV said that al-Zaidi was "seriously injured" during his detention.[39] Al Sharqiya also points to signs of injury on his thighs and an immobile right arm. However, a different brother, Maitham al-Zaidi, spoke with Muntadhar on the phone and was told: "Thank God I am in good health."[38] On Friday 19 December Dhia al-Kinani, the Judge investigating the case, said there were signs al-Zaidi had been beaten; al-Zaidi had bruises on his face and around his eyes.[40] The Judge also said al-Zaidi had not yet raised a formal charge relating to his injuries.[40] His lawyer, Dhiya'a al-Sa'adi, has also confirmed that al-Zaidi had been beaten, stating that "there are visible signs of torture on his body".[41]
Yeah Laura...this guys doing just great under your husband's " NEW FREEDOMS" you thick cunt.
This was a chance for Bush to step up and set an example for law, order, and freedom. A chance to show the differences between Saddam and democracy. Instead he allows this man to be tortured and sends his wife out to blather on about how "lucky" the guys is. Yet another opportunity lost and more reason for the world to hate America.
All you need to know is on this video from 2:10 - 2:25 where, in response to the reporter pointing out that terrorism didn't come to Iraq until AFTER the invasion, " So What". Hundreds of thousands dead, more maimed, and an entire region in disarray and this shitbag's response....." so what". Thank God its only another 22 days.
Infinite Jest
I try not to write about whatever book I'm reading because it always seems that its virtually impossible to do so without sounding pretentious, like the teller is really saying, " He I read books, not like you TV watching retards".
But seeing as any reader here knows that I watch the requisite amount of TV and I'm as retarded as any red blooded American male, I'll assume that you'll be cool with me mentioning that I read.
Anyway, I just finished Infinite Jest by this dude named David Foster Wallace. The book is looooong. Year ago, younger and more robust I made it through The Stand. A half dozen years back I made it through Atlas Shrugged, but that was only because I skimmed most of the rant at the end AND I was on jury duty. This book is as long and it took me 6 weeks to finish, but had me entertained from cover to cover.
The book is a half dozen short stories intertwined and it heavy on descriptive observation and light on substantive plot. It covers some area...namely athletics, substance abuse/addiction, family relationships, and mental illness, with realistic and hilarious detail that reveals much about the authors background. The book was named in Time's listing of the top 100 novels of all time, but sadly the potential for any future offering about the Endfeld tennis academy or any other offering's by the talented writer ended when David Foster Wallace killed himself last September.
Anyway, you can find the book for $10 on Amazon. You might find the first chapter a little tough to get through until you sync with the timing and tone, but after that you should find the book enjoyable.
But seeing as any reader here knows that I watch the requisite amount of TV and I'm as retarded as any red blooded American male, I'll assume that you'll be cool with me mentioning that I read.
Anyway, I just finished Infinite Jest by this dude named David Foster Wallace. The book is looooong. Year ago, younger and more robust I made it through The Stand. A half dozen years back I made it through Atlas Shrugged, but that was only because I skimmed most of the rant at the end AND I was on jury duty. This book is as long and it took me 6 weeks to finish, but had me entertained from cover to cover.
The book is a half dozen short stories intertwined and it heavy on descriptive observation and light on substantive plot. It covers some area...namely athletics, substance abuse/addiction, family relationships, and mental illness, with realistic and hilarious detail that reveals much about the authors background. The book was named in Time's listing of the top 100 novels of all time, but sadly the potential for any future offering about the Endfeld tennis academy or any other offering's by the talented writer ended when David Foster Wallace killed himself last September.
Anyway, you can find the book for $10 on Amazon. You might find the first chapter a little tough to get through until you sync with the timing and tone, but after that you should find the book enjoyable.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
grocery shopping
I took the youngest girl grocery shopping with me on Sunday.
We were just about done and I remembered three things that I still needed, " OK, we need three more things..a green pepper, garlic bread and bacon. If I forget remind me, OK ?"
" Yes Daddy, pepper, bread, bacon."
We made our way across the grocery store and got the pepper, bread, and a few other items and then I couldn't remember that last thing I needed. ( which of course is why I asked her to remember)
" Dang, I can't remember the last thing I need. What was it I asked you to remember."
" Ha Ha, you can't remember ?"
" No I can't,", I was getting a little annoyed at myself for forgetting and her for laughing, " can you please tell me ?"
" Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, crackers ?"
" No not crackers."
" marshmellow ?"
" No of course not marshmellow. It was something cold I remember that."
" French toast ?"
Then I realized she was just randomly saying stuff as we passed it, " Hey, you're just saying..."
" Pizza ?"
" CUT IT OUT !"
" Whipped cream ? Orange Juice ? Frozen Oniooooooons ?", then incessant giggling.
So then we left. Half way home I remembered, " Bacon ! Stupid friggin bacon !"
" You better go back.", she said, " you're very forgetful" with a big smile.
Later she was sure to let Mommy know and suggested that I was getting old and that maybe they should keep an eye on me.
We were just about done and I remembered three things that I still needed, " OK, we need three more things..a green pepper, garlic bread and bacon. If I forget remind me, OK ?"
" Yes Daddy, pepper, bread, bacon."
We made our way across the grocery store and got the pepper, bread, and a few other items and then I couldn't remember that last thing I needed. ( which of course is why I asked her to remember)
" Dang, I can't remember the last thing I need. What was it I asked you to remember."
" Ha Ha, you can't remember ?"
" No I can't,", I was getting a little annoyed at myself for forgetting and her for laughing, " can you please tell me ?"
" Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, crackers ?"
" No not crackers."
" marshmellow ?"
" No of course not marshmellow. It was something cold I remember that."
" French toast ?"
Then I realized she was just randomly saying stuff as we passed it, " Hey, you're just saying..."
" Pizza ?"
" CUT IT OUT !"
" Whipped cream ? Orange Juice ? Frozen Oniooooooons ?", then incessant giggling.
So then we left. Half way home I remembered, " Bacon ! Stupid friggin bacon !"
" You better go back.", she said, " you're very forgetful" with a big smile.
Later she was sure to let Mommy know and suggested that I was getting old and that maybe they should keep an eye on me.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
E-A-G-L-E-S
I attended my first NFL football game last night.
WOW !
The closest thing I can compare it to is Lollapalooza. It was just complete indulgent chaos. In just our parking lot alone I saw more overt signs of drunken debauchery than I've seen in the last 3 years...and readers of this blog will know that's really saying something. I'm both horrified and impressed at the commitment of Eagles fans to gorge themselves on pork and consume as much Miller Lite as (sub)humanly possible. Hats off.
The one thing that I really found humours was the Eagles year long commitment to going "green". Nothing says " save the environment" like 55,000 people driving 40,000 cars to an event that's lit by 1 trillion mega-lumens of high wattage lamps, and then serve them food and drink in disposable containers that they indiscriminately toss on the ground. As the guy in the seat said to me last night, " is this really your target audience ?"
But what a good time. I got the feeling that in close game or in a loss against Dallas, that it wouldn't take much for the entire scene to go sideways quickly...but at least last night the fans were fun, the game was great, and a fun time was had by all.
Go Birds !
WOW !
The closest thing I can compare it to is Lollapalooza. It was just complete indulgent chaos. In just our parking lot alone I saw more overt signs of drunken debauchery than I've seen in the last 3 years...and readers of this blog will know that's really saying something. I'm both horrified and impressed at the commitment of Eagles fans to gorge themselves on pork and consume as much Miller Lite as (sub)humanly possible. Hats off.
The one thing that I really found humours was the Eagles year long commitment to going "green". Nothing says " save the environment" like 55,000 people driving 40,000 cars to an event that's lit by 1 trillion mega-lumens of high wattage lamps, and then serve them food and drink in disposable containers that they indiscriminately toss on the ground. As the guy in the seat said to me last night, " is this really your target audience ?"
But what a good time. I got the feeling that in close game or in a loss against Dallas, that it wouldn't take much for the entire scene to go sideways quickly...but at least last night the fans were fun, the game was great, and a fun time was had by all.
Go Birds !
Monday, December 15, 2008
aquaman
There's a guy who goes to the gym that I frequent.
He's usually at the pool at around the same time as me and does laps wearing a divers mask, a snorkle, and flippers. Big ocean faring flippers too. And with all that gear on he 'swims' laps for a half hour. I think it takes him two strokes to get the the other side of the pool.
After swimming he retires to the locker room for roughly 3 hours where he showers, steams, hot tubs, showers again, the entire time engaging people in these horrible conversations. Its always something awkwardly personal and when the other person invariably starts talking in a hushed tones in an attempt to salvage some dignity and mellow him out, he always responds by raising his voice about 100 decibles.
( Thus far anyway) he is self aware enough to know to NOT talk to me. I spend the entire time there with a look ( well honed in the locker room of an all boys Catholic high school) that says, " fuck with me and I'll towel snap you right in the dick".
Anyway, I have to swim on Wednesday and I'm seriously thinking about sticking a tampon in his snorkle while he's in the steam room.
He's usually at the pool at around the same time as me and does laps wearing a divers mask, a snorkle, and flippers. Big ocean faring flippers too. And with all that gear on he 'swims' laps for a half hour. I think it takes him two strokes to get the the other side of the pool.
After swimming he retires to the locker room for roughly 3 hours where he showers, steams, hot tubs, showers again, the entire time engaging people in these horrible conversations. Its always something awkwardly personal and when the other person invariably starts talking in a hushed tones in an attempt to salvage some dignity and mellow him out, he always responds by raising his voice about 100 decibles.
( Thus far anyway) he is self aware enough to know to NOT talk to me. I spend the entire time there with a look ( well honed in the locker room of an all boys Catholic high school) that says, " fuck with me and I'll towel snap you right in the dick".
Anyway, I have to swim on Wednesday and I'm seriously thinking about sticking a tampon in his snorkle while he's in the steam room.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
out of the fog
You'll have to forgive me as I just cleared the fog of a 3 day hangover, but I'm going to give writing sentences a shot. If this goes well I might shoot for coherent sentences tomorrow.
Someone used the phrase "bum rush" the other day. As in, " he was standing there and the other guy bum-rushed him". This got me wondering about the origins of this and other common phrases. For whatever inane reason I had a vague idea that bum-rush was referring to your behind/buttocks/your bum. So that bum-rushing someone was running up behind them. How this related to Public Enemy's Bum Rush Da Show I'm not really clear on, but I hadn't really thought about it that much. Then someone pointed out the obvious that it probably had origins that deal with bums...ie hobos, vagabond, transients, etc. I'm not exactly sure how THAT makes sense either, because I'm not sure I've even seen a bum "rushing" exactly, they usually seem rather unhurried. And I really couldn't envision a group of bums closing in on someone...not without kinda laughing anyway. But here's what I found. Its all sorta clear as mud.
This line of thinking also provided me another revelation. My father has always used the phrase "cotton picker" or " cotton pickin" instead of swearing. Now the fact that he going out of the way to not swear should give some insight to the fact that he's a rather conservative guy ( Ward Cleaver conservative, not Rush Limbaugh conservative). The guy doesn't drink and I've never heard him say anything racist in his life. So up until a week ago,I never actually thought about the phrase he so commonly uses. I mean it should have been obvious to both he and I, but I guess it was just one of those things that you just never notice. I can only imagine my shock will pale in comparison to his reaction when I point it out this weekend. I'm SURE he's used the exact phrase, " Ahhhh I just sliced that cotton picker into the sandtrap " while playing with his African-America golfing partner.
And then there's " She built like a brick shithouse " which I just assumed to mean solid...but hardly flattering. I'll let straight dope handle that one.
Someone used the phrase "bum rush" the other day. As in, " he was standing there and the other guy bum-rushed him". This got me wondering about the origins of this and other common phrases. For whatever inane reason I had a vague idea that bum-rush was referring to your behind/buttocks/your bum. So that bum-rushing someone was running up behind them. How this related to Public Enemy's Bum Rush Da Show I'm not really clear on, but I hadn't really thought about it that much. Then someone pointed out the obvious that it probably had origins that deal with bums...ie hobos, vagabond, transients, etc. I'm not exactly sure how THAT makes sense either, because I'm not sure I've even seen a bum "rushing" exactly, they usually seem rather unhurried. And I really couldn't envision a group of bums closing in on someone...not without kinda laughing anyway. But here's what I found. Its all sorta clear as mud.
This line of thinking also provided me another revelation. My father has always used the phrase "cotton picker" or " cotton pickin" instead of swearing. Now the fact that he going out of the way to not swear should give some insight to the fact that he's a rather conservative guy ( Ward Cleaver conservative, not Rush Limbaugh conservative). The guy doesn't drink and I've never heard him say anything racist in his life. So up until a week ago,I never actually thought about the phrase he so commonly uses. I mean it should have been obvious to both he and I, but I guess it was just one of those things that you just never notice. I can only imagine my shock will pale in comparison to his reaction when I point it out this weekend. I'm SURE he's used the exact phrase, " Ahhhh I just sliced that cotton picker into the sandtrap " while playing with his African-America golfing partner.
And then there's " She built like a brick shithouse " which I just assumed to mean solid...but hardly flattering. I'll let straight dope handle that one.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Jonestown
That's why my house looked like Sunday morning. Plastic cups and bodies strewn about as a result of some self-induced mass slaughter...in other words, the annual Flick Family Christmas Party.
This year the party also doubled as a reveal for a year long prank that I pulled on my good friend and neighbor Tom. I haven't been able to write about it here for feat that he might see it, but the whole prank is laid out on another blog I write www.ohdeer2008.blogspot.com
In a nutshell, I stole Tom's wooden lawn deer and spent the last your mailing him around the coutry. THe two videos at the top of that page sum the whole thing up nicely.
Right now I feel like that Russian dude who got poisoned. I kinda look like him too.
This year the party also doubled as a reveal for a year long prank that I pulled on my good friend and neighbor Tom. I haven't been able to write about it here for feat that he might see it, but the whole prank is laid out on another blog I write www.ohdeer2008.blogspot.com
In a nutshell, I stole Tom's wooden lawn deer and spent the last your mailing him around the coutry. THe two videos at the top of that page sum the whole thing up nicely.
Right now I feel like that Russian dude who got poisoned. I kinda look like him too.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
good interview
http://www.bikeraceinfo.com/oralhistory/lemond.html
My wattage, relative to VO2 Max…a VO2 Max of 92 or 93 in a fully recovered way…I think I was capable of producing 450 to 460 watts. The truth is, even at the Tour de France, my Tour de France climb times up l’Alpe d’Huez yielded a wattage of around 380 and 390. That was the historic norm for Hinault and myself. You’ve got times going back many, many years. But what was learned recently, in the last 5 years, was that when you start the Tour de France, you start with a normal hematocrit of, say, 45 percent. By the time you finish, it’s probably down 10 or 15 percent. Which means my VO2 Max dropped 10 or 15 percent. So that’s why I was never producing the same wattage. And then there a lot of other factors that help performance if you’ve recovered. My last time trial in ’89, I averaged about 420, 430 watts, which would match or be slightly down from what my real VO2 Max was.
My wattage, relative to VO2 Max…a VO2 Max of 92 or 93 in a fully recovered way…I think I was capable of producing 450 to 460 watts. The truth is, even at the Tour de France, my Tour de France climb times up l’Alpe d’Huez yielded a wattage of around 380 and 390. That was the historic norm for Hinault and myself. You’ve got times going back many, many years. But what was learned recently, in the last 5 years, was that when you start the Tour de France, you start with a normal hematocrit of, say, 45 percent. By the time you finish, it’s probably down 10 or 15 percent. Which means my VO2 Max dropped 10 or 15 percent. So that’s why I was never producing the same wattage. And then there a lot of other factors that help performance if you’ve recovered. My last time trial in ’89, I averaged about 420, 430 watts, which would match or be slightly down from what my real VO2 Max was.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
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