Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Its over, start learning Mandarin
So sad I can't help laughing.
This is Sheila Jackson Lee, the Congresswoman who asked if the Mars rover could go over and take a look at where the astronauts planted the flag....who complained the Hurricanes were never named after African-Americans.... and who recently got popped for using public funds to attend the Michael Jackson memorial....
talking with ...
Greta Von Sustren...who's the only woman I've ever felt comfortable describing with the word 'douche'....
about S.J Lee talking on the phone at a public meeting ( I"m sure you've all seen the clip of that )
Anyway, you gotta check this out. Von Sustren uses the word " dis " a couple times, totally because she's talking to a black person. S.J.L. apparently hasn't been in touch with 'the people' in quite a while as she has no idea what "dis" means...and the two of them blather on in the most surreal way.
This is Sheila Jackson Lee, the Congresswoman who asked if the Mars rover could go over and take a look at where the astronauts planted the flag....who complained the Hurricanes were never named after African-Americans.... and who recently got popped for using public funds to attend the Michael Jackson memorial....
talking with ...
Greta Von Sustren...who's the only woman I've ever felt comfortable describing with the word 'douche'....
about S.J Lee talking on the phone at a public meeting ( I"m sure you've all seen the clip of that )
Anyway, you gotta check this out. Von Sustren uses the word " dis " a couple times, totally because she's talking to a black person. S.J.L. apparently hasn't been in touch with 'the people' in quite a while as she has no idea what "dis" means...and the two of them blather on in the most surreal way.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Who's going with me ?
GEORGE “THE ANIMAL” STEELE COMING TO CLIPPER MAGAZINE STADIUM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The no-holds barred wrestler famous for biting his opponents and eating turnbuckles is paying a visit to Clipper Magazine Stadium. George “The Animal” Steele will be a special guest for the Barnstormers’ game against the Bridgeport Bluefish on Aug. 26 at 7:05 p.m.
Steele, who was elected to the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame in 2005, will be signing autographs, taking photos and throwing out a ceremonial first pitch. There will also be a meet and greet with fans in one of the stadium’s luxury boxes.
Steele retired as a full-time wrestler in 1989, although he has made cameo appearances through the years. During his heyday, he was best known for his flying hammerlock move and the Neanderthal persona he created as part of his act inside the ring. The Florida resident has a Master’s degree from Central Michigan and has dedicated his post-wrestling life to fighting dyslexia and Chrohn’s Disease.
Tickets are still available for this one-of-a-kind event. Just log onto www.lancasterbarnstormers.com, call 717-509-HITS or visit the Clipper Magazine Stadium box office during regular business hours.
Monday, August 17, 2009
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I took one too many sleeping pills and drank a beer last night.
Now I"m filling my gullet with coffee and letting them battle it out.
I've been in the paper like 7 days in a row now and not once has it been for assaulting someone. I'm saving that for keeping the streak alive.
Big meeting today at 1:30. Hopefully the sleeping pills, beer, and coffee will have sorted itself out by then. Its really hard to negotiate from a position of strength when you've passed out and shit yourself.
Now I"m filling my gullet with coffee and letting them battle it out.
I've been in the paper like 7 days in a row now and not once has it been for assaulting someone. I'm saving that for keeping the streak alive.
Big meeting today at 1:30. Hopefully the sleeping pills, beer, and coffee will have sorted itself out by then. Its really hard to negotiate from a position of strength when you've passed out and shit yourself.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Head down
Wish I had something interesting to tell but its been a heads down grind all week.
I'll see what I can do about that tonight and tommorrow. Maybe I'll finish with a fury.
I'll see what I can do about that tonight and tommorrow. Maybe I'll finish with a fury.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Nationalized Health Care
In an odd series of events I just noticed the following.
This is the the Rod of Asclepius.
Asclepius was the son of Apollo and was the practicioner of medicine in Greek Mythology. The symbol represents healing.
This is the Caduceus
Thisis a symbol of Greek god Hermes the messenger of the gods, guide of the dead and protector of merchants, shepherds, gamblers, liars and thieves. This represents theft, commerce, deception and death.
Interestingly in the United States, somehow, these two symbols were switched. The end result is that in America, the Caduceus symbol for theft, deception, death and commerce is now the symbol for medicine.
Perhaps even more remarkable is that we're able to trace the source of this confusion. The "patient zero" of symbolic misuse. I present to you...
The U.S. Army Medical Corps Branch Plaque. The 1902 adoption of the caduceus for U.S. Army medical officer uniforms popularized the symbol throughout the medical field in the US.
This is the the Rod of Asclepius.
Asclepius was the son of Apollo and was the practicioner of medicine in Greek Mythology. The symbol represents healing.
This is the Caduceus
Thisis a symbol of Greek god Hermes the messenger of the gods, guide of the dead and protector of merchants, shepherds, gamblers, liars and thieves. This represents theft, commerce, deception and death.
Interestingly in the United States, somehow, these two symbols were switched. The end result is that in America, the Caduceus symbol for theft, deception, death and commerce is now the symbol for medicine.
Perhaps even more remarkable is that we're able to trace the source of this confusion. The "patient zero" of symbolic misuse. I present to you...
The U.S. Army Medical Corps Branch Plaque. The 1902 adoption of the caduceus for U.S. Army medical officer uniforms popularized the symbol throughout the medical field in the US.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Sad, but not surprising
http://raincoaster.com/2009/08/05/george-sodinis-blog-the-plan/
At the risk of catching your ire I'm going to say that I'm not all that surprised that this incident happened. Obviously its tragic, and obviously the guy who did it is a twisted prick. My point is, he's not the only twisted prick.
Its not worth laying down the full extent of an argument, even if I had one that was more than a series of passing observations, but I will point out that:
- We live in a commercialize, media riddled society that has convinced everyone that getting laid is perhaps the most/ only important thing in the world.
- All other objects and goals in the pursuit of getting laid are shown to be fulfilling no matter how arbitrary or contrived that they are. Hell, if you believed what you see on TV ( and you're supposed to) washing your hair with the right shampoo gives you an orgasm. That's going to leave a lot of shampoo customers disappointed.
- We have a system of largely un-defined/over define/and contrarily defined gender roles. For white males, that's compounded by the MSNBCs of the world telling you that you're an evil bastard and part of the problem and the FOXNews of the world telling you that you're being put upon and an endangered species.
Now all of that means shit so long as you're a grounded person and have a support system of family and friends to give you some guidance and perspective. Unfortunately the system, by design or happenstance is evolving in the opposite direction.
- We're becoming more and more isolated. While all the communication available to us has made surface interaction readily accessible, its come at the expense of meaningful dialog and relationships.
- The family structure has basically eroded into nothingness. You could fill books on both reasons and examples. You could fill another 20 books assigning blame. But the point is that extended families basically extinct and the nuclear family is quickly becoming the exception.
I believe that there's a growing segment of the population that feels disenfranchised and powerless. They're lost and lonely. In many cases they're made to feel that way by design....that makes them better marks for business, government, and religious manipulation.
This is what Obama was striking at when he talked about people taking refuge in religion and guns, without even recognizing that he wasn't part of the solution, but an extension of the problem. Many of those people will fill that void playing Second Life or WOW. Many will seek refuge in their churches and cults. Many will seek refuge in their political parties. But I fear that some will lash back at society, and when they do it will be in way of misdirected violence.
* before you let any of that pissed you off or freak you out, please keep in mind that's just the offhanded opinion of a guy who yells at little kids at the pool and gets massages at the mall. Its not like I'm George Will...or even Curious George for that matter.
At the risk of catching your ire I'm going to say that I'm not all that surprised that this incident happened. Obviously its tragic, and obviously the guy who did it is a twisted prick. My point is, he's not the only twisted prick.
Its not worth laying down the full extent of an argument, even if I had one that was more than a series of passing observations, but I will point out that:
- We live in a commercialize, media riddled society that has convinced everyone that getting laid is perhaps the most/ only important thing in the world.
- All other objects and goals in the pursuit of getting laid are shown to be fulfilling no matter how arbitrary or contrived that they are. Hell, if you believed what you see on TV ( and you're supposed to) washing your hair with the right shampoo gives you an orgasm. That's going to leave a lot of shampoo customers disappointed.
- We have a system of largely un-defined/over define/and contrarily defined gender roles. For white males, that's compounded by the MSNBCs of the world telling you that you're an evil bastard and part of the problem and the FOXNews of the world telling you that you're being put upon and an endangered species.
Now all of that means shit so long as you're a grounded person and have a support system of family and friends to give you some guidance and perspective. Unfortunately the system, by design or happenstance is evolving in the opposite direction.
- We're becoming more and more isolated. While all the communication available to us has made surface interaction readily accessible, its come at the expense of meaningful dialog and relationships.
- The family structure has basically eroded into nothingness. You could fill books on both reasons and examples. You could fill another 20 books assigning blame. But the point is that extended families basically extinct and the nuclear family is quickly becoming the exception.
I believe that there's a growing segment of the population that feels disenfranchised and powerless. They're lost and lonely. In many cases they're made to feel that way by design....that makes them better marks for business, government, and religious manipulation.
This is what Obama was striking at when he talked about people taking refuge in religion and guns, without even recognizing that he wasn't part of the solution, but an extension of the problem. Many of those people will fill that void playing Second Life or WOW. Many will seek refuge in their churches and cults. Many will seek refuge in their political parties. But I fear that some will lash back at society, and when they do it will be in way of misdirected violence.
* before you let any of that pissed you off or freak you out, please keep in mind that's just the offhanded opinion of a guy who yells at little kids at the pool and gets massages at the mall. Its not like I'm George Will...or even Curious George for that matter.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
loose lips
Saturday night I had a few too many cocktails. While Sunday and Monday were no treat, I think I got away Saturday night mostly unscathed. I didn't remove any articles of clothing, I didn't threaten anyone, the only thing that I can recall doing inapproriately was telling a story to an elderly couple that I inadvertantly ended with the punchline, " MOTHERFUCKER !"
The story I was conveying had just happened the night previous, last Friday. As any regular reader already knows by my ranting that day, I was particularly stressed out. I left work looking for trouble and when my wife called and asked if I would meet her and the girls at the mall, trouble was going to be easy to find.
I walked up to the mall bar and asked, " do you have any single malt scotch ?"
The 21 year old college girl behind the counter looked back at me blankly, " ummm single what ?"
I repeated myself and she dug around in the well for a while and found me a bottle of Glenlivet, " How would you like that ?"
" Scotch and water please."
To my astonishment, she then picked up a soda glass, filled it with ice, poured some scotch over the ice, then proceeded to fill the glass with water, stopping only when I started screaming from across the bar. To add insult to injury, as I sat there mouth agape wonder what to do, she plopped a bill in front of me for $7.
The head waitress (which at this place meant another 21 year old, but this one had probably been there for more than 6 weeks) walked over and asked if there was a problem.
" Yeah.", I answered, " Do you think that you might be able to strain this into another, perhaps smaller glass, without ice ?"
" Sure", she said. Then strained out the drink into a second soda glass handing me what was, essentially, a half filled glass of slightly tinted water.
Miserably, spitefully, I downed the swamp water and followed it up with a couple of Yuenglings and dinner with the wife and kids.
After dinner, Mrs. Flick had a couple of things to get in the mall and so off we went into that hell hole. She's veteran enough to know that I was going to be a royal pain in the ass, so as well walked by one of those massage kiosks she said, " Hey listen, while the girls and I are shopping, why don't you get a massage ?"
" A mall massage ?", I asked incredulously, " no way."
" Come on. Your options are to walk around looking at little girls clothes or this. Go ahead, it will relax you."
After some further dialoge, she walked over, had a brief discussion with the Chinese dude in blue doctor scrubs and then came back. " See that guy over there, he'll take care of everything."
Begrudgingly, I walked over to the guy, " OK, where do we go ?"
He looked at me puzzled and pointed over to this contraption about 10 feet away.
" HERE ! right here ?!"
He nodded and pointed again.
Right there in the middle of the aisle with Friday night shoppers walking back and forth was this massage kneeler. " You have got to be f-ing kidding me." I looked back at the guy and he stared happily back at me.
" Ah fuck it, lets do it", I figured I'm face down on that thing no one can see me, what the hell. He put down this paper thing, like a toilet seat cover, I shoved me face in the hole and the dude started pounding away at my back.
10 minutes later he tapped me on the shoulder. " Ok, we're done ?", I asked.
" No no...over more", he replied in broke English. I couldn't understand what he was talking about.
Finally a younger Chinese girls walked over and in a little better English informed me, " You wife, she get you foot massage too. 10 minute each foot"
" Ok, fine, he told me to get up.", I started back to the massge contraption.
" No, you go over here", the girl grabbed my arm and pulled me around to the other side of the kiosk where I was surprised to see a lazy boy/ barko lounger chair with a footstool. " You sit"
Kinda stunned I sat in the chair. I looked down and the Chinaman pulled off my shoes and sock. Then he pulled on these giant gloves. The only time I've seen gloves of that type were on an Animal Planet show where they were impregnating horses. And just like on that show he started lubing the gloves up in this vat of oil.
" You lay back now see !", and with that hit a button that send the barkolounger in full recline mode.
So as most of you probably have gathered, I have a tendency to be an extremely self conscious person. Some might say that it borders on paranoid, and those people are being polite. So laying akimbo, with the top end of me half way into the northbound aisle of the mall councourse, and the south end of me being rubbed by a lubed up Chinaman in latex is not what I would described as a comfortable moment for me.
" Hey...uh Fong...do you have a curtain or something ?"
" No ! You lay back now !"
" How about a couple of those paper towels I can put over my face or something ?"
" Ha ha, you funny ", apparently thinking that I wasn't serious about the towels.
With that, Fong pickup up my left foot to his eye level holding it in his left hand. He reared back with his right hand like a prize fighter and WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP, hauled off and punched me as hard as he could...six times right into the base of my heel.
" HOLY SMOKES !", I yelled startled. Then all of a sudden, for the first time in weeks, my left leg went totally relaxed. Holy crap that felt good.
I looked down at Fong with my eyes just about bugged out of my head and he looked back at me with a knowing grin, " You lay back now, yes ?"
So whats a brother to do ? There's really no middle ground in a scene like that. As uncomfortable as the situation was, I really had to choices. The first was to call the whole thing off, the other was to just go with it. I figured screw it, the situation was so surreal I'd just go with it. It was going to take about 17 more minutes then it would be done and over, and really I was starting to feel better.
I put my hands on my belly, laid back, closed my eyes and started to relax.
At first I could hear the voices in the background, " hey look at that dude getting a massage.......watch out for that dudes head....."
breathe in breathe out...ignore the voices...
" hey that guy is letting another guy rub his feet...heh heh"
breathe....ignore....and sure enough it was starting to work. Pretty soon the voices all blended into each other as they passed by. Fong was rubbing the tension out of my feet, I was breathing nice and easy, and for the first time in forever I started to relax and let the stress of life flow out of my body...starting to find my happy place.....
Then....
" BOOOOOOOO !"
Instinctively, my eyes popped open. Two inches from my face...literally nose to nose, was my next door neighbor with her brood of kids and husband in tow. " Har har har har......I saw you laying there and I just HAD to do that, ha ha ha" she giggled like a mental patient.
Which leads me back to the beginning of this story, end of that story, and a new dynamic between my neighbors and I as I sat up in the chair sending her reeling back and yelled, of all things, " MOTHERFUCKER !"
The story I was conveying had just happened the night previous, last Friday. As any regular reader already knows by my ranting that day, I was particularly stressed out. I left work looking for trouble and when my wife called and asked if I would meet her and the girls at the mall, trouble was going to be easy to find.
I walked up to the mall bar and asked, " do you have any single malt scotch ?"
The 21 year old college girl behind the counter looked back at me blankly, " ummm single what ?"
I repeated myself and she dug around in the well for a while and found me a bottle of Glenlivet, " How would you like that ?"
" Scotch and water please."
To my astonishment, she then picked up a soda glass, filled it with ice, poured some scotch over the ice, then proceeded to fill the glass with water, stopping only when I started screaming from across the bar. To add insult to injury, as I sat there mouth agape wonder what to do, she plopped a bill in front of me for $7.
The head waitress (which at this place meant another 21 year old, but this one had probably been there for more than 6 weeks) walked over and asked if there was a problem.
" Yeah.", I answered, " Do you think that you might be able to strain this into another, perhaps smaller glass, without ice ?"
" Sure", she said. Then strained out the drink into a second soda glass handing me what was, essentially, a half filled glass of slightly tinted water.
Miserably, spitefully, I downed the swamp water and followed it up with a couple of Yuenglings and dinner with the wife and kids.
After dinner, Mrs. Flick had a couple of things to get in the mall and so off we went into that hell hole. She's veteran enough to know that I was going to be a royal pain in the ass, so as well walked by one of those massage kiosks she said, " Hey listen, while the girls and I are shopping, why don't you get a massage ?"
" A mall massage ?", I asked incredulously, " no way."
" Come on. Your options are to walk around looking at little girls clothes or this. Go ahead, it will relax you."
After some further dialoge, she walked over, had a brief discussion with the Chinese dude in blue doctor scrubs and then came back. " See that guy over there, he'll take care of everything."
Begrudgingly, I walked over to the guy, " OK, where do we go ?"
He looked at me puzzled and pointed over to this contraption about 10 feet away.
" HERE ! right here ?!"
He nodded and pointed again.
Right there in the middle of the aisle with Friday night shoppers walking back and forth was this massage kneeler. " You have got to be f-ing kidding me." I looked back at the guy and he stared happily back at me.
" Ah fuck it, lets do it", I figured I'm face down on that thing no one can see me, what the hell. He put down this paper thing, like a toilet seat cover, I shoved me face in the hole and the dude started pounding away at my back.
10 minutes later he tapped me on the shoulder. " Ok, we're done ?", I asked.
" No no...over more", he replied in broke English. I couldn't understand what he was talking about.
Finally a younger Chinese girls walked over and in a little better English informed me, " You wife, she get you foot massage too. 10 minute each foot"
" Ok, fine, he told me to get up.", I started back to the massge contraption.
" No, you go over here", the girl grabbed my arm and pulled me around to the other side of the kiosk where I was surprised to see a lazy boy/ barko lounger chair with a footstool. " You sit"
Kinda stunned I sat in the chair. I looked down and the Chinaman pulled off my shoes and sock. Then he pulled on these giant gloves. The only time I've seen gloves of that type were on an Animal Planet show where they were impregnating horses. And just like on that show he started lubing the gloves up in this vat of oil.
" You lay back now see !", and with that hit a button that send the barkolounger in full recline mode.
So as most of you probably have gathered, I have a tendency to be an extremely self conscious person. Some might say that it borders on paranoid, and those people are being polite. So laying akimbo, with the top end of me half way into the northbound aisle of the mall councourse, and the south end of me being rubbed by a lubed up Chinaman in latex is not what I would described as a comfortable moment for me.
" Hey...uh Fong...do you have a curtain or something ?"
" No ! You lay back now !"
" How about a couple of those paper towels I can put over my face or something ?"
" Ha ha, you funny ", apparently thinking that I wasn't serious about the towels.
With that, Fong pickup up my left foot to his eye level holding it in his left hand. He reared back with his right hand like a prize fighter and WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP, hauled off and punched me as hard as he could...six times right into the base of my heel.
" HOLY SMOKES !", I yelled startled. Then all of a sudden, for the first time in weeks, my left leg went totally relaxed. Holy crap that felt good.
I looked down at Fong with my eyes just about bugged out of my head and he looked back at me with a knowing grin, " You lay back now, yes ?"
So whats a brother to do ? There's really no middle ground in a scene like that. As uncomfortable as the situation was, I really had to choices. The first was to call the whole thing off, the other was to just go with it. I figured screw it, the situation was so surreal I'd just go with it. It was going to take about 17 more minutes then it would be done and over, and really I was starting to feel better.
I put my hands on my belly, laid back, closed my eyes and started to relax.
At first I could hear the voices in the background, " hey look at that dude getting a massage.......watch out for that dudes head....."
breathe in breathe out...ignore the voices...
" hey that guy is letting another guy rub his feet...heh heh"
breathe....ignore....and sure enough it was starting to work. Pretty soon the voices all blended into each other as they passed by. Fong was rubbing the tension out of my feet, I was breathing nice and easy, and for the first time in forever I started to relax and let the stress of life flow out of my body...starting to find my happy place.....
Then....
" BOOOOOOOO !"
Instinctively, my eyes popped open. Two inches from my face...literally nose to nose, was my next door neighbor with her brood of kids and husband in tow. " Har har har har......I saw you laying there and I just HAD to do that, ha ha ha" she giggled like a mental patient.
Which leads me back to the beginning of this story, end of that story, and a new dynamic between my neighbors and I as I sat up in the chair sending her reeling back and yelled, of all things, " MOTHERFUCKER !"
Monday, August 03, 2009
my weekend
- bad scotch
- Chineese man rubbing my feet
- kayaking
- eating a roasted pig
- 12 beers ( plus or minus 6 beers...and probably not the minus part)
- 2 hours on the bike
- 3 hours on the can
- still crusty on monday
After reading my posts from Friday, I think I'm the only one who didn't see this coming.
- Chineese man rubbing my feet
- kayaking
- eating a roasted pig
- 12 beers ( plus or minus 6 beers...and probably not the minus part)
- 2 hours on the bike
- 3 hours on the can
- still crusty on monday
After reading my posts from Friday, I think I'm the only one who didn't see this coming.
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