Something about the Landis quote the other day was really bothering me....hence the post from two days ago.
But it was only after I stopped thinking about it did it dawn on me WHY it was so much on my mind.
It wasn't at all Landis' cavalier attitude, it was this quote:
"I have no clue what's going on. After the Tour of the Bahamas I'm going back to my shack behind the car wash. Maybe I'll write a book."
MY SHACK ?!?!?! WRITE A BOOK !?!?!?!
The Bahamas wasn't Landis' return to cycling. The Bahamas was Landis' shot across Armstrong's bow.
What that quote really means is, " Hey Lance you cock-knocker, I covered your ass. Now get the UCI to approve Rock Racing, or get me on Radio Shack, or something. FLoyd's gotta eat....don't make write a tell all book to do it."
I think I'm starting to like Floyd again.
Friday, January 29, 2010
flying fish
I'm not even sure where to being with this one other than to say thanks to Kev-O for sending it across my desk.
The Readers Digest version is that Silver Carp were brought over from Asia for some specific purpose of filtering catfish ponds. There was a flood, the carp got into the rivers, and the end result is that these things are breeding out of control and getting huge.
By luck, some crazy ass bowhunter guy found out that if you run your boat at a low RPM near these carp, they go berserk and start jumping like 10 feet out of the water. He strung up a bunch of arrows on fishing line, got himself a case of beer and a video camera and extreme aerial bowfishing was born. http://www.brackettoutdoors.com/cbfishstory.htm
If that was f-ed up enough....they were out filming a show and shooting fish, when the fish started fighting back. The guys girlfriend ( pretty super hot girlfriend I might add...there apparently are perks to being an extreme aerial bowhunter) got nailed by one of the fish and broke her jaw ! See further pics by following this link.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
classy
"All that drinking is starting to pay off," Landis wrote in an e-mail, according to NeilBrowne.com. "I beat the course record set by Zman [David Zabriskie] two years ago and I was on somebody else's road bike with clinchers and no aero clothes. Take that f@*#ers."
"I have no clue what's going on. After the Tour of the Bahamas I'm going back to my shack behind the car wash. Maybe I'll write a book."
-- Just the sort of quotes you'd expect from any drug addict I suppose. I wonder what the title of the book will be.... " covering for the boss, on the fast track to shack ownership ".
"I have no clue what's going on. After the Tour of the Bahamas I'm going back to my shack behind the car wash. Maybe I'll write a book."
-- Just the sort of quotes you'd expect from any drug addict I suppose. I wonder what the title of the book will be.... " covering for the boss, on the fast track to shack ownership ".
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
a tree fell in the forest....aka unlikely feminists
Through a series of unusual coincidences ( I'm starting to wonder if there are such things), anyway, found myself sitting in the midway hotel tavern.
The midway, with the exception of adding Ozzy's " I'm Coming Home" to the jukebox, hasn't changed one thing since 1978 including the patrons who seem permanently affixed to their stools, sipping cans of Old Milwaukee and staring blankly at bowling memorabilia
I walked in during the second frame of the Professional BowlersAssociation Tournament of Champions, championship match which pitted top PBA bowler Chris Barnes against Kelly Kulick. This match creating history with the first woman ever to make it to a final of a PBA tournament...and doing so at the televised finals of the games major championship.
It was as if, in order for the event to truly have happened, that an outside observer (me) needed to lay witness to the experience for this elephant graveyard of bowling enthusiasts as they found themselves challenged with social-sexual implication of the match juxtaposed against the " take on all comers", "roll 'em and count 'em up" and dare I say "mano-a-mano" concepts that form the cornerstones of their Midway existence.
I started to mention the whole Schrodinger's cat idea to them, but then figured having your mind totally fucking blown once on a Sunday afternoon was enough, plus as Kelly rolled strike after strike I wondered if perhaps the situation would turn volatile and, as an outsider, I was very much a likely target.
As it turned out, the opposite was true. Kulick didn't just win the match, she dominated it. Perhaps it was the space, the company or the $3 Trogges, but after the 4th strike in a row I started picking up the strong scent of fate. Except for a hiccup of an open frame in the middle she just rolled strike after strike after strike, each one touching the sporting sensibilities of the crowd at the midway, and winning over their support. By the 8th frame she had the thing won. Undeterred she struck the 8th, the 9th, and the went strike, strike, 9 in the final frame with the last standing pin seeming almost appropriate....as in...." keep watching because you know I can get even better".
The win give Kulick a two year automatic exemption on the Pro Bowlers Tour, and I suspect we're going to starting hearing a little more about bowling over the coming months. But her impact is already felt, at least along a small stretch of Columbia Ave. As I hustled out of there, late to pick up the boy, I heard one of the old timers say to the bartender, "can you turn the TV up ? I want to hear what she has to say "
The midway, with the exception of adding Ozzy's " I'm Coming Home" to the jukebox, hasn't changed one thing since 1978 including the patrons who seem permanently affixed to their stools, sipping cans of Old Milwaukee and staring blankly at bowling memorabilia
I walked in during the second frame of the Professional BowlersAssociation Tournament of Champions, championship match which pitted top PBA bowler Chris Barnes against Kelly Kulick. This match creating history with the first woman ever to make it to a final of a PBA tournament...and doing so at the televised finals of the games major championship.
It was as if, in order for the event to truly have happened, that an outside observer (me) needed to lay witness to the experience for this elephant graveyard of bowling enthusiasts as they found themselves challenged with social-sexual implication of the match juxtaposed against the " take on all comers", "roll 'em and count 'em up" and dare I say "mano-a-mano" concepts that form the cornerstones of their Midway existence.
I started to mention the whole Schrodinger's cat idea to them, but then figured having your mind totally fucking blown once on a Sunday afternoon was enough, plus as Kelly rolled strike after strike I wondered if perhaps the situation would turn volatile and, as an outsider, I was very much a likely target.
As it turned out, the opposite was true. Kulick didn't just win the match, she dominated it. Perhaps it was the space, the company or the $3 Trogges, but after the 4th strike in a row I started picking up the strong scent of fate. Except for a hiccup of an open frame in the middle she just rolled strike after strike after strike, each one touching the sporting sensibilities of the crowd at the midway, and winning over their support. By the 8th frame she had the thing won. Undeterred she struck the 8th, the 9th, and the went strike, strike, 9 in the final frame with the last standing pin seeming almost appropriate....as in...." keep watching because you know I can get even better".
The win give Kulick a two year automatic exemption on the Pro Bowlers Tour, and I suspect we're going to starting hearing a little more about bowling over the coming months. But her impact is already felt, at least along a small stretch of Columbia Ave. As I hustled out of there, late to pick up the boy, I heard one of the old timers say to the bartender, "can you turn the TV up ? I want to hear what she has to say "
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
McGwire
During his weak assed excuse maknig "confession" he claims that in 1998, he took steroid to keep him going, not to improve.
" But then around July or the All-Star break I decided to take a month’s worth of steroids to get my body to feeling normal to where I can finish up strong. I did not abuse them. I did use them. It’s so regrettable."
How can this idiot fool himself into thinking that there's not a difference.
When all the rule followers are forced to contend wtih injuries and exhaustion while you circumvent those same obstacles through prohibited substances...that's the very definition of performance enhancing.
What a douche.
" But then around July or the All-Star break I decided to take a month’s worth of steroids to get my body to feeling normal to where I can finish up strong. I did not abuse them. I did use them. It’s so regrettable."
How can this idiot fool himself into thinking that there's not a difference.
When all the rule followers are forced to contend wtih injuries and exhaustion while you circumvent those same obstacles through prohibited substances...that's the very definition of performance enhancing.
What a douche.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
stolen story
I needed new glasses and to buy them they give you a free eye test for the prescription of the lens.
Doctor says ' Do you read or use a computer a lot?'
me 'I read and I also use the computer a lot'
him 'word processing and surfing, or additional strain on the eyes'
me 'Well I play a little online poker sometimes'
him 'ok, well lets see how your eyes are'
He then switches off the lights and I do the 'please read the lines test. He says 'read the 2nd line please'
The 2nd line has a 3 K J 2. So I obviously say, 'Three, King, Jack, Deuce' I had no idea what I said was wrong until he looked at me and said 'A little poker?' Then I clued in.
Doctor says ' Do you read or use a computer a lot?'
me 'I read and I also use the computer a lot'
him 'word processing and surfing, or additional strain on the eyes'
me 'Well I play a little online poker sometimes'
him 'ok, well lets see how your eyes are'
He then switches off the lights and I do the 'please read the lines test. He says 'read the 2nd line please'
The 2nd line has a 3 K J 2. So I obviously say, 'Three, King, Jack, Deuce' I had no idea what I said was wrong until he looked at me and said 'A little poker?' Then I clued in.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Waitress Wisdom
I overheard imparting a bit of wisdom to a new waitress at the diner the other morning.
Young waitress: It seems like some people order the same thing every day.
Old waitress: Honey EVERYBODY orders the same thing everyday. About once every two weeks one of them will ask you for a menu. Then they're read it over and talk about how good everything looks, fold up the menu, hand it back to you, and order the same thing as usual. People aren't willing to risk the rest of the day on bad breakfast.
This of course occurred 10 minutes after asking for a menu, looking it over, commenting on how good everything look, folding it up, handing it back, and ordering the same thing as usual.
Young waitress: It seems like some people order the same thing every day.
Old waitress: Honey EVERYBODY orders the same thing everyday. About once every two weeks one of them will ask you for a menu. Then they're read it over and talk about how good everything looks, fold up the menu, hand it back to you, and order the same thing as usual. People aren't willing to risk the rest of the day on bad breakfast.
This of course occurred 10 minutes after asking for a menu, looking it over, commenting on how good everything look, folding it up, handing it back, and ordering the same thing as usual.
Monday, January 04, 2010
movie review time
I had a chance to see some movies over the last week, thought I'd share.
Avatar 3-D - You'll pretty much figure out the story line in 30 seconds if you haven't already. Doesn't matter. It reminded my seeing Star Wars as a kid, visually mindblowing. The 3-D was incredibly well down and the transition from live action to animation was seamless. When this technology gets applied universally, it will revitalize the movie theater buisness..you just can't get this experience at home.
And when they figure out how to apply the technology to sports and video games, I'm dumping all my investments into Laz-E-Boy and drool cups. ( even I'm not completely sure what that means, but you get the idea)
Up In The Air - I had to go to the movies twice to see this as it was sold out the first time. My reaction is a a solid "eh". The premise is good. The acting is good. The story is good. I think I may have been more impressed without the hype. Worth seeing.
Man on Wire - Documentary about the guy who walked on a tightrope from one twin tower to another in 1974. The stunt was totally illegal and the story follows the attempt from its conception through the planning stages and to the day of the walk through archived footage and current day interviews with the participants. This is a fun rental.
The Hangover - Fun movie. Ken Jeong almost steals the movie as Mr. Chow and who can resist any movie with Mike Tyson. Good times, quality rental, thumbs up.
Avatar 3-D - You'll pretty much figure out the story line in 30 seconds if you haven't already. Doesn't matter. It reminded my seeing Star Wars as a kid, visually mindblowing. The 3-D was incredibly well down and the transition from live action to animation was seamless. When this technology gets applied universally, it will revitalize the movie theater buisness..you just can't get this experience at home.
And when they figure out how to apply the technology to sports and video games, I'm dumping all my investments into Laz-E-Boy and drool cups. ( even I'm not completely sure what that means, but you get the idea)
Up In The Air - I had to go to the movies twice to see this as it was sold out the first time. My reaction is a a solid "eh". The premise is good. The acting is good. The story is good. I think I may have been more impressed without the hype. Worth seeing.
Man on Wire - Documentary about the guy who walked on a tightrope from one twin tower to another in 1974. The stunt was totally illegal and the story follows the attempt from its conception through the planning stages and to the day of the walk through archived footage and current day interviews with the participants. This is a fun rental.
The Hangover - Fun movie. Ken Jeong almost steals the movie as Mr. Chow and who can resist any movie with Mike Tyson. Good times, quality rental, thumbs up.
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