howling at the moon

When my buddy Tom first graduated college he started dating this girl he worked with.
She was a beautiful fun girl and they really hit it off. The only obstacle with their relationship was that she still lived with her parents.

So at 24 years old he was still doing the same stuff he had been doing back in high school....going over to he house, getting the once over by her father, having to get her home at a respectable hour, etc etc. As you might imagine, this situation made "hanky-panky" a bit comlicated. Their jobs and her parent's house were both in the city, meanwhile Tom's apartment was 20 minutes out into the suburbs. On a typical night, getting off work and driving back and forth, in and out of the city, and then getting her back home at a decent hour was cumbersome. Oh don't get me wrong, two healthy 24 year-olds would walk to 15 miles barefoot on glass if that's what it took. I'm just saying it was cumbersome.

Due to a variety of factors ( holiday, schedule change at work etc) about a week went by without Tom and his girl being able to make their regular jaunt out to the countryside. As you might imagine, a week at that age is just about at the limit of human endurance. So when Tom went to drop her at home after a late dinner and she invited him in, it was almost physically impossible for him to refuse.

With the parents asleep upstairs, the two sat on the living room couch making out with the scene becoming increasingly more, shall we say, 'involved'.

Finally, she whispered into Tom's ear, " Lets go up to my room"

" No way," he answered, " not with your parents up there." Tom had a healthy respect for parents and a healthy fear of very large fathers who owned very loaded handguns.

" Well, we're not doing it down here, so its either upstairs or we have to stop. ", she said, going right to her trump card.

So reluctantly, fearfully, Tom tiptoed behind her up the stairs and into her room.

Whatever excitement the girl had shown downstairs was somehow amplified by the danger of having her parents across the hall. She tore off her jeans and started passionately tearing at Toms clothes.

Tom's fears were temporarily put aside by this good turn of events, but he was snapped back into reality when in mid...errrrr...stride his girl let her emotions get the better of her and she started moaning rather loudly.

OHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Tom stopped. Frozen.

" What are you doing ? Don't stop.", she purred.

" You were being kinda loud. You gotta be quiet. I don't want to get shot", he whispered quiet as a church mouse.

" OK' she agreed and pull him closer.

Two minutes later...

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH......UUUUHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH...AAAAHHHHHHHHHH

She was at it again.

He paused...although pausing this time was much more difficult.

" No, no, no don't stop I'm so close...I promise I'll be quiet", she begged.

What's a brother to do ? Tom started in again.

Sure enough as soon as he started, SHE started....OOOOHHHHHHHHHH.

Now Tom figured he could either stop all together or he could just go as fast as he could and just get it over with...that's to say he really only had one choice. So Tom went at it intensely as he could...a man on a mission. And she responded in kind..

YYYYYEESSSSSSSSS ! OOOHHHHH GODDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSS ! At the top of her lungs.

Finally she finished and they collapsed in a heap. Tom stared at the door and readied himself for the father to come bursting in six-guns a'blazin.

The two of them lay there in the dark listening. Tom terrified and planning his way out the window, his girl in blissful half slumber. By the grace of God nothing happened. Maybe the parents were heavy sleepers, maybe he was just paranoid and she wasn't being as loud as he thought. In any case, Tom counted his blessing and slowly and quietly slipped out of bed, slid his clothes on and tip-toed downstairs relieved.

The house was totally dark and silent and he smiled at his good futune.

But as he went to leave, the note taped to his jacket wiped the smile from his face. It read....

NEVER AGAIN !