the great escape

A friend recently asked, " Do you find it hard to go to sleep at night ?"

He wasn't asking about any insomnia, he was referring to the fact that, in general, men tend to stay up late watch bad TV and surfing the internet. This, and the fact that the airtime is cheaper, is why you'll see ads for penis enlargement cream, rogaine, and girls gone wild videos all shown well after 10 pm.

The reason is relativly obvious, but I think worth noting. Men need to be alone. Alternatively, men need to be with other men alone ( meaning without women and children)...but that mostly works because men don't ask shit of other men so you can't actually hang out with them and not feel put upon. And its the "put upon" that seems to be the driving force that's keeping Colbert and Mega-Man suppliments in buisness.

Back in "the day" men would get this type of reprieve on a somewhat regular basis. There was the Elks Club, Knight of Columbus, Country Club memberships ( at Country Clubs with no women and children), or post work meet-ups at the local pub which would have occassionally have women, but for our purposes of discussion, 19 year old cocktail waitresses are not applicable.

In today's modern age, men are "involved". They're coaches, they're baby sitters, they help with homework, they spend "quality time", somehow or another we've become actual participants in the daily lives of our wives and children. NOT, as they say, NOT that there's anything wrong with it. My only point is that those downtimes are less formal and less regular than during our father's generation.

So where does that leave us ?

First all lets get one thing out of the way. The term "man cave" is gay. If you use it stop using it. If you hear it, please make the offender know of the transgression. Getting some sort of designated area, and worse yet some sort approval from your spouse...with the title " MAN CAVE" is contrary to the entire concept. A " MAN CAVE" is a place where men might as well have " PLAY DATES"....another designation that sucks all of the fun and spontinaity out of life.

I remember sneaking out to the garage for a beer and smoke with the father of one of my friends after our wives had gone to bed a few years ago. I felt sheepish about the entire operation until he pointed out to me that all over America...he'll over most of the world, men were sneaking out into their garages, or woodsheds, or basements and sneaking a smoke or a drink. He tuned me into the fact that hanging out alone, or even with a friend, outside of your wifes knowledge or without scheduling it, or without having to check on the kids, was an act of independance. That it was in those moments that we break free of the burdens and bonds of daily drudgery. Furthermore, he pointed out that those moments rejuvinated us enabled us to be better fathers, husbands, and providers. We weren't taking swigs from the flask hidden in the toolbox for ourselves...we were getting covertly hammered for THEM. That watching reruns of The OC episode where the chicks are trying on swimsuits isn't our pleasure as much as its our duty and obligation.

The man made a lot of sense. Either that or I was just really really high.