Baby Girl story #2

Tuesday afternoon I got a call, " You have to talk to your daughter, she got in trouble at school"

" Uh-oh", I said, " what did she do ?"

" She made some girl cry, by saying something to her."

" What did she say ?" I asked.

" She told the girl, 'you legs are as hairy as a bunny'."

After I got done laughing, I asked to talk to Baby Girl. She didn't want to talk to me, but finally I got her on the phone and simply explained that while what she said may have been true, she should apologize for hurting the firls feelings.

All was well until I got home and found out the real reason why she didn't want to talk to me on the phone earlier. It turns out that she didn't tell the girl 'your legs are as hairy as a bunny". What she acutally said to the girl, and the entire class is...

"Your legs are as hairy as my Dad's belly."

Thanks kid.

baby girl story #1

I pick up the youngest girl first and then we drive over to another school the pick up Hot Gril and The Boy.

When we get to school #2 I try to make a game of it. Baby Girl and I walk in on the sidewalk on either all cracks or no cracks, and when we get inside we walk on either all light squares or all dark squares. Baby Girl takes great pride in being the one who chooses what we do each day.

We got out of the van and she declared " ALL CRACKS " and we carefully traced a path along the cracks, down the side walk, and towards the front door.

We reached the front door at around the same time as an black woman who there to pick up her kids. I broke ranks and politely opened the door to let the woman in. Baby Girl was concentrating so hard on staying on the cracks didn't notice the woman and as she got to the door almost bumped into her.

Baby Girl startled, looked up at the woman, then looked up at me and emphaticly declared, " WHITES ONLY DADDY ! WHITES ONLY !"

I saw the woman pause and her face drop. Then she quickly started hustling into the building.

I acted as quickly as I could, " YES BABY GIRL ! GOOD IDEA STEP ONLY UPON THE SQUARES THAT ARE WHITE IN COLOR.....not, of course, that there's anything wrong with the brown squares...they're just as....ahh...yeah, that's it good job."

Thankfully, the woman gave me a knowing smile and we went on our ways.

Wonder where I've been ?

Oh Me Oh My Oh Monday

So, what's be going on you ask ?

Well on Saturday I saw monkeys riding dogs and herding rams. And sadly that's not a euphamism for something more exciting.

Say hello to Team Ghost Riders



They were the halftime show at the Farm Show Rodeo that I took my kids to. Both the Farm Show and the Rodeo are a good time. If there really is a thing such as All-American fun, then that might be as close as you can get. The downside, everything worn smells remarkably and almost permanently like the ass of a cow.

The weekend ? Friday: talked and drank, Saturday: Farm Show sausage then cards and drank, Sunday: Watched football and drank. I've concluded that I do a good job of not letting all those other activities interfere with the drinking.

I'm in a weight loss contest now for the last two weeks and I've only gained 2 lbs. I haven't completely connected the dots, but I'm starting to suspect this paragraph and the one above it are somehow related.

On Friday I was in a local pub and saw someone who looked remarkably like Sez walk past and go into the bathroom. Brentz, Grib and I followed the guy in. I took place at the stall next to him and tried to assertain if it was him or not when Grib threw caution to the wind.

" WE GOT YOU SURROUNDED !!!! HANDS UP MOTHERFUCKER !!!", Grib had his hands like a gun and kept poking Sez's elbow while he pissed, " I SAID HANDS UP !!!"

Thank goodness it was Sez.

As funny as that might have been, it was the guy washing his hands at the sink running out of the room in terror that caused Mr. Brentz to laugh so hard he threw up in his mouth a little.

Sez might now be incontnent.

Washington

Washington

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=15035

In the inbox - glad to know I'm not alone

Flick,

So this morning I had to walk a few blocks from my office to get my glasses repaired. Luckily it was nice and sunny so I could wear my prescription sunglasses. On the way I stopped at Square One and got coffee for the walk and wait. This being a business day I have a suit and tie on with a white shirt.

I walked into the second floor small waiting room that the Optometrist has and gave my frames and lenses to the receptionist/Certified Repair "Technician" and sat down. Now in my glassless state (the office was way too dark for the sunglasses) I note that there is an old "cracked or whacked out guy" sitting a couple of chairs away from me with an old army fatique jacket and a baseball hat. Across the room sitting is the poster boy for the stereotypical gang member; about 250 pounds, baggy jeans, untied high top basketball shoes, huge white T Shirt and lots of bling.

The Glass Repair Specialist left the room for "her lab". I leaned back and started working on my coffee. A couple minutes later while trying to see how much of the eye chart I can actually see without my glasses, I note that bling boy is staring at me, but not making eye contact. I go back to the coffee and my glassless, unfocused haze. Now I note that crackhead has awakened and I think I catch HIM staring at me and then he looks at bling boy. They both shrug and roll their eyes. I am not pissed yet, but I am getting there. So a few minutes later I look at crackhead and he is definetly staring at me, but like at my stomach, I switch my gaze to bling boy who is staring near my belt buckle. Okay now not only am I pissed, I am a little creeped out. So I look bling boy right in the eye and say "is there a problem?" He tips his 270 degree baseball cap a little forward and says "DUDE" and nods toward my lap. I look down and now note that my POS coffee lid has apparently been leaking each time I take a sip. My tie is soaked and an ever widening brown stain is growing on my white monogrammed Lands End shirt. Just about then the Optometrist comes to get crack-whackhead, who gets up to follow him, but before he goes takes one look back and shakes his head and says "DUDE".

The "technician/Certified Glass Repair Specialist"/receptionist walks back in and hands me my glasses. I don't even put them on I just get up button my jacket and walk out - truly A CLASS ACT. I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be a great day.

Dang

I have a few things that I want to write, but ever time I start to write all that goes through my head is...

BOOBS !

BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS

So the other BOOBS I ran into BOOBS and we went over to the BOOBS to check out the BOOBS.

See what I mean ?

Damn, I hope this.... BOOBS!....passes soon.

BOOBS !

Arden

So the boy was excited to go to his cub scout thing last night.

From the time I picked him up at school and all through dinner all he kept talking about was "Arden" this and "Arden" that.

"Arden is so much fun"

"Arden is the coolest"

"I really like Arden"

So when I took him to the cub scout meeting I had to find out who this supposedly wicked cool guy Arden was.

I got there, listened to the introductions, and quickly found out who Arden was...

O-U-R D-E-N

Stupid cub scout talk.

This note to Fry says it all

.....I locked myself in the basement with the kids, a giant bag of Christmas candy, and all their new toys. When the smoke cleared, I was the second the the last one standing. The last one standing was doing so on my throat.

Good times.
.....

HCwDB has their end of year awards up. A must see.


.....

Catching up, just like the rest of you. More in a day or two.