US Poker Championships

Sept 23 and 24 I'm playing in the US Poker Champs at the Taj Mahal. So prestigous is this event that the Taj is considering vacuming the tables and adding a second waitress to the room.

I'm playing in the two cheapest events they offer, but it's still more money than I'll ever play with/for in my life and I'm shitting my pants already. What's weird is that half ( or more) of the players there will be the same guys that will play $50 and $100 hands of blackjack all night long. A $300 or $500 entry fee for those guys is a bargain. Playing poker for an hour means they've saved themselves $2000 they would have otherwise lost on craps or blackjack.

At least with a tourney there is a bit of a level playing field in that everyone starts with the same number of chips. When you're in a cash game a high roller can just raise your $15 bet to $100 and have you shitting you pants.

I played one morning ( forgive me if I've already told this story)...but I played one morning with a kid from Pittsburgh who had been up all night. He had gotten off a bus at 11pm with his only $600 in his pocket and by 10am had won $300 and consumed another $300 in free budweiser. I sat down to watch him win another $100 pot and start screaming about that hundred was going to pay for the second prostitute. Aparently the man had a plan.

So at this little $1/$2 NL game ( $3 in the pot to start) this maniac would regularly open the betting for $50. Now this level of poker is typically reserved for guys like me....poor working stiff who have about $150 with them and in the lose that they'll most likely throw up and regret ever going to AC. So when this kid bet his $50...everyone ran and he picked up the $3, over and over again.

Eventually, the kid bet into a pot and ran into an opponent who had pocket aces. Like a kid who just got caught with his porno stash, the Pittsburgh kids blushed, shrugged, and turned over Q-9 offsuit...busted. Then the flop came Q - Q - 10....the kid lucked up and won the pot busting some poor schlep in the process.

But now the gig was up. Everyone knew that the kid was making these outrageous bets with nothing at all. And out of frustration and the desire to get some money back from this maniac, everyone started playing anything. Suddenly, this dreary low stakes table was turning out $300 and $400 pots.

At the same time, the kid started catching cards !!!

All of a sudden I look to my left and he had accumulated over $1000 in chips. I swear, if I didn't know better I'd think he set the whole thing up.

Well it wasn't long before the sharks caught wind of what was going on, and soon I saw guys getting up from the high stakes table and coming over to where we were. Once a couple of seats openend up and the big dogs sat down, the gambling really started.

I sat quietly the whole time, patiently waiting for something to come my way. In the meantime, the Pittsburgh kids became my best friend. When the waitress refused to bring him drinks two at a time, I ordered one for myself and gave it to him....a few different times....and now I was his new best friend and confidant. " You want a hoooker too buddy ?" he asked on a number of occassions " I'll take care of you".

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity I looked down to see a pair of 9s. I bet out $15 and the kid looked at me and said..." how much do you have ?" ....I looked down at my measely stack and said " on hundred and sixty-six dollars total" and the kid said " I raise to $166".

DAMN !

Then, the Brooklyn Shark, who had been gunning for the kid piped up " hey bigmouth...how much do YOU have ?" The smile ran off the kids face and he looked down at his pile which the shark had already knocked down from $1000 to about $500... " $538" said the kid. The shark bet out, " I raise to $538 !". The table got quiet as the cards folded around to me again.

My choices at this point were to fold and lose my $15. Or I could call and potentially tripple up my money. If I called and lost, I would have lost all my money and would have to go home broke. My mind raced as I sat there contemplating my cards with my heart pounding and perspiration quickly beading on my forehead.

My thoughts were interrupted " Ahhhh, you gotta call !" my new found friend slurred " come on, this is why you're here....this is FUN!" I tried to ignore him and focus on what my odds might be, what cards the shark had been playing, how I was going to explain to my wife that I lost all my money and had to come home early.

" COME ON DUDE , CALL !" he rattled in my ear, then continued, " OK buddy, If you have a pair, you're beating me...seriously...I have AK and I'm going all in with it...I don't think that fat bastard has anything and if Im wrong, I at least want you to get some of the money so he doesn't get it all....if you have a pair you should call.."

I looked at him intently. I believed him.

" Here, I'll show you !" He yelled.

NONONONO, everyone at the table screamed. Showing me his hand would kill his hand and nobody wanted that. You're really not supposed to talk about you hand at the table and if the dealer wanted to be a prick he could have ended things right there.

" OK, I call" I said...my voice cracking slightly. I was beyond rational thought.

Sure enough the Pittsbugh kid called all-in and flipped over AK. The fat man shook his head and laughed ...AK too.

This was great for me. They each held one of the other's outs making me the favorite in the hand. The flop came with a 9 making me the immediate winner ! My scream could be heard over on the other side of the baccarat tables. $498 ! I collected my winnings and walked away.

After cashing out I went back to watch. The Pittsburgh kid, who at one point had his $600 plus $1000 in winnings ( that's 3 bottles of tequilla, 2 hookers, and a nice room with a view for those keeping tabs) was sitting there win about $60 in chips....two hands later he was out. With a sigh and barely mumbling a few words, he stood up, wobbled, and stumbled out the door into the mid-day sun.

It AC, it was just another day.