be careful what you wish for

Regular readers may recall my quest to go to the bathroom ( #2 of course) without having another living creature, be it child, dog, or wife, walk in on me. I remember the last time it happened foldly...it was the spring of 2004...I had just gotten a new National Grographic and had eaten calamari and penne pasta the night before....but I digress.

I came home today to a full house and ran upstairs for my evening constitution. I settled in, patiently did my business, and surprisingly noted that I had not been interrrupted.

The smirk on my face last just seconds as I reached over to toilet paper roll and found it empty.

OK, no problem, there had to be some in under the sink right ? I suffered through the indignity of ever so gngerly waddling around knock-kneed, pants around my ankles and hind quarters high in the air, as I rooted around under the sink.....NOTHING.

Frantic, I started looking around for anything else useful...no napkins, no paper towels, no baby wipes. There WERE a slew of poker magazines...however I said I was frantic...I didn't say I was hopeless.

So the most reasonable plan of action was to just wait it out. I mean it was amazing that someone or something hadn't run in to that point, it had to be only a matter of time before someone came to my rescue.

So I picked up a magazine and I read an article and waited....and waited...and waited. I stomped on the floop a couple of times...nothing. I could hear them down there...I wasn't alone. " Hellooooooooo ?!" Nothing.

Finally.....defeated....I just gave in. I decide to go to another location and all that entails ( I'm assuming most of you know what I mean). I stood , hiked up my pants, and made my way to the kids bathroom on the other side of the house.

I'm starting to think that they're all messing with me on purpose, I really am.