....can't I can't spell potpourri.
In the last week or so I've...
- had a fat old man charge me like he was going to tackle me then pull up short and make threatening gestures. That conversation ended with me saying, " You can either leave or go to jail."
- Slept in my van for a couple of hours because I forgot my house key and didn't want to wake up my wife. For those keeping score at home, hypothermia beats out 'angry wife' 100% of the time.
- Mildred ( remember her ?) called up asking me, " what's up with the flying spheres that are zooming around in the sky at night. Is the government up to something ? " She also let me know she was concerned about some guy who was following her to the newspaper stand who, " walks like a gunfighter and has round hair where his forehead should be." Mildred son is out of town so she's a little lonely.
Here's a list of words that the guy across the hall from me uses instead of the regular English words that the rest of us use:
* AK LEAST for at least
* GEN-U-ER-LY for either generally or genuinely...we're not sure
* PICKS-T-CHURES for pictures
* I (pause) DRATHER for I'd rather
He's also fond of the words "caddyywhapus" and " rectallinear" the later which sends me into fits of laughter like a 5th grader.
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...
2 comments:
Can we have some more details on why the fat old guy was charging you? Oh and by the way, Sheryl Crow wants you family to stop using so much toilet paper.
He wasn't chasing me because I wasn't running. Much to his surprise I moved toward the crazy fucker. It was like stepping in front of a flannel ass-a-lanche.
And why he was flipping out is a really boring story. He wanted something unreasonable and I said no. He got unreasonable and I asked him to leave. Just another typical day serving the taxpayers.
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