problem solved

A few years ago I had a friend who liked to take my dog for a walk.

I don't know why a grown man would want to walk around with a shit-zu, but that's really not the point of this story. Just accept the fact that this some something that he enjoyed doing.

One day after he and the dog came back I felt compelled to ask him what the fuck he and the dog did while out on their adventures.

" Nothing really. We walk around. She sniffs at stuff. She takes a piss and a shit and we come home."

" She takes a shit ?", I suppose that should have occurred to me but I NEVER walked the dog, and couldn't stand the thing enough to ever consider its digestive habits.

" Well of course she does."

Realizing that when ever the two of them went out the door the only thing they took with them was a leash, I had to ask, " Well if she's taking a nightly shit and I don't see you walking out of here with a bag or anything...what's happening with the shit ?"

" What do you mean ?", he asked as puzzled as me.

" I mean, where do you put the shit ?"

Now he really looked baffled, " Put the shit ? I don't put the shit anyplace. We walk around, the dog sniffs around on someone's lawn, takes a shit, and we move along."

" Wait a second. You mean to tell me that every night you leave her with my dog. Walk around the neighborhood. And have my dog shit on one of my neighbors lawn and then just walk away ?", I was astonished.

" Yeah. Is that a problem ?"

" Yeah its a fucking problem. And when one of my neighbors comes up and throws a pile of shit against my house its going to be a big fucking problem." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

" Hey man I'm sorry " he apologized, " I had no idea it was a problem."

I drove the point home, " No seriously. You can't do that. If I caught someone's dog shitting in my lawn I'd be furious. They're going to drive me out of town...seriously...you gotta stop that shit."

" OK OK OK, I got it, mellow out."

Two days later I'm coming home from a night meeting and here he comes walking down my street with the dog. No bag, no scoop, no nothing, just him and the dog.

He greeted me with a big wave and I asked, " Hey were you just out walking the dog ?"

" Yeah"

" Well did the dog take a shit ?"

" Yeah.", he answered undeterred.

" Well I don't see you with a bag." I accused.

" A bag ? For what...the shit ? That's gross. I aint walking around with a bag full of shit."

Now I was furious, " Well what part of our discussion the other night did you NOT understand."

" No man, it's cool. I got what you were saying and I took care of it."

I was surprised, but relieved, " You did ? Whew..... How ?"

" Yeah I thought about what you said about shitting on people's lawns and you're right man that ain't cool. So when we were out tonight I'd let her sniff around a bit...and the right when she squatted to take a dump I picked her up and hung her out over the curb. BOOM, she shit right there in the street. No turds on the lawn !!! Problem solved !!!"