Alas the perils of thinning ( not balding Mr. H-stick, thinning !), I have sunburn on my head.
Kid golf tourney #2 yesterday. The boy opened with a par, then went double, then bogey and lead the thing after 4 holes.
Then he went 10 - 10 - 5 - 13 to send his chances south and his father into a fit. I found that, given the right circumstances, I am one of "those" Dads. I aint saying I'm proud of it, I'm just taking stock.
All in all he did fine. He improved by 9 strokes and handled himself better than his old man.
I took him out to breakfast this morning and he was having a great time until we opened up the sports section and he saw that his score and placing were in the paper. I distracted him by asking him what states were on the quarters he was holding in change from the newspaper.
"hmmmm", he looked them over, " Utah and Idaho. If you mixed them up that would be Ida-tah"
" Or," I offered without thinking, " Uta-ho". Then he laughed for like 10 straight minutes, catching his breath once in a while and saying,
" You-Da-Ho bawahahahahahah I know what that means bahahhahahah YOU-DA-HO !!!!!"
Man I wish I was 9.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
the latest skuttlebutt
So after Astana made its first deadline, it had to meet another deadline last week and wasn't going to make it.
Lance made arrangements so that when the team folded, he would immediately take over and have the team toe the line at the Tour in Livestrong/Nike outfits.
In the meantime Slipstream/Garmin/Chipolte entered negotiations to hire Contador away from Astana when the team folded, since the switch to Lancestrong/Nike would invalidate Contador's contract.
From reports Vaughters was going to get $2 mill from Hebalife and hire away Contador, the Astana Spaniards Benjamin Noval and Sergio Paulinho, and Contadors mechanic. Then put the best guys from Slipstream behind Contador to kick the crap out of Armstrong.
Armstrong ( allegedly) got wind of the deal and "miraculously" an unnamed American company gave...GAVE...the Kazakstan government enough money to pay their tab, thereby obligating Contador to stay on Astana.
Then Astana named their tour roster which includes all of Armstong's guys
Astana
Six riders confirmed: Lance Armstrong, Alberto Contador, Andreas Klöden, Levi Leipheimer, Yaroslav Popovych and Haimar Zubeldia.
Three riders to be selected from: Jani Brajkovic, Chris Horner, Benjamín Noval, Dmitriy Muravyev, Sergio Paulinho, Gregory Rast and Tomas Vaitkus.
I'd be willing to bet a fair amount of money that 2 the final 3 are Horner and Brajkovic. Then it just comes down to whether they're going to throw Contador a bone with one rider or just bone him completely and add Rast.
If Armstrong shows up for the prologue wearing a Darth Vader helmet, I won't be the least bit surprised.
Lance made arrangements so that when the team folded, he would immediately take over and have the team toe the line at the Tour in Livestrong/Nike outfits.
In the meantime Slipstream/Garmin/Chipolte entered negotiations to hire Contador away from Astana when the team folded, since the switch to Lancestrong/Nike would invalidate Contador's contract.
From reports Vaughters was going to get $2 mill from Hebalife and hire away Contador, the Astana Spaniards Benjamin Noval and Sergio Paulinho, and Contadors mechanic. Then put the best guys from Slipstream behind Contador to kick the crap out of Armstrong.
Armstrong ( allegedly) got wind of the deal and "miraculously" an unnamed American company gave...GAVE...the Kazakstan government enough money to pay their tab, thereby obligating Contador to stay on Astana.
Then Astana named their tour roster which includes all of Armstong's guys
Astana
Six riders confirmed: Lance Armstrong, Alberto Contador, Andreas Klöden, Levi Leipheimer, Yaroslav Popovych and Haimar Zubeldia.
Three riders to be selected from: Jani Brajkovic, Chris Horner, Benjamín Noval, Dmitriy Muravyev, Sergio Paulinho, Gregory Rast and Tomas Vaitkus.
I'd be willing to bet a fair amount of money that 2 the final 3 are Horner and Brajkovic. Then it just comes down to whether they're going to throw Contador a bone with one rider or just bone him completely and add Rast.
If Armstrong shows up for the prologue wearing a Darth Vader helmet, I won't be the least bit surprised.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
a contrast in style
My oldest daughter has been sick and was going to sit out of last Thursday's meet. Once she got there, she had a little bit to eat and started feeling a little bit better. She asked if she could swim because she thought she could still place well in a couple of the events and score points for the team, and she didn't want to leave her relay partners a swimmer down.
Reluctantly we let her swim and she went on to win both individual events and her team won the relay. But what really impressed me was that, in addition to wanting to contribute and be a team player, after each of her heats she made sure to shake the hand of each of the competitors, even if she had to find them on the deck to do so. This isn't something that we taught her to do, its just the kind of kid that she is and it makes me incredibly proud.
And then there's the boy.
The boy swam in what can best be described as the remedial heat. The race doesn't count for team points and is used for new swimmers, swimmers with some sort of malady, or in his case, swimmers with a giant sinking head.
Somehow by the grace of god the boy won his heat, out touching a one legged kid in a 25 yard freestyle that took like 3 minutes to complete. When he looked over and saw that the other 4 swimmers were still going and that he had out touched Stumpy, he ripped his goggles off, started doing an end zone dance and let out a war cry " WaaaaHoooo !" He then climbed up on the deck and started doing 'the running man' dance, which sadly IS something I taught him to do.
So two kids*, but only one kids worth of class to go around.
* The youngest girl also swam, finishing first on one heat and last in the other. Both times the reaction was the same...nothing. She'd get out of the pool, find something sugary to eat, and then start eyeing up which dumpster was most attractive set on fire.
Reluctantly we let her swim and she went on to win both individual events and her team won the relay. But what really impressed me was that, in addition to wanting to contribute and be a team player, after each of her heats she made sure to shake the hand of each of the competitors, even if she had to find them on the deck to do so. This isn't something that we taught her to do, its just the kind of kid that she is and it makes me incredibly proud.
And then there's the boy.
The boy swam in what can best be described as the remedial heat. The race doesn't count for team points and is used for new swimmers, swimmers with some sort of malady, or in his case, swimmers with a giant sinking head.
Somehow by the grace of god the boy won his heat, out touching a one legged kid in a 25 yard freestyle that took like 3 minutes to complete. When he looked over and saw that the other 4 swimmers were still going and that he had out touched Stumpy, he ripped his goggles off, started doing an end zone dance and let out a war cry " WaaaaHoooo !" He then climbed up on the deck and started doing 'the running man' dance, which sadly IS something I taught him to do.
So two kids*, but only one kids worth of class to go around.
* The youngest girl also swam, finishing first on one heat and last in the other. Both times the reaction was the same...nothing. She'd get out of the pool, find something sugary to eat, and then start eyeing up which dumpster was most attractive set on fire.
Monday, June 22, 2009
transcript
me: so this pumpkin headed weatherman comes into our office all the time
me: and he tries to act like a celebrity and is rude to our matronly receptionist
and she gets all upset and is afriad to say anything to him because she's afriad he'll say something to the bosses and get her fired
so I just told her that she has my permission to do something to him the next time he comes in
just so long as its so out of character for her that no one would believe that she did it
she's such a nice old lady, she couldn't think of anything
so I just told this 62 year old woman that the next time he comes in, that she's to shit in her hand and throw it at him - I'm not quite sure I've ever seen someone so astonished
neo: You're the one who's going to get fired.
me: nah fuck it - if she says anything to anyone I'll just deny is and say she's getting senile
me: who's gonna believe I told an old lady to shit in her own hand
me: and he tries to act like a celebrity and is rude to our matronly receptionist
and she gets all upset and is afriad to say anything to him because she's afriad he'll say something to the bosses and get her fired
so I just told her that she has my permission to do something to him the next time he comes in
just so long as its so out of character for her that no one would believe that she did it
she's such a nice old lady, she couldn't think of anything
so I just told this 62 year old woman that the next time he comes in, that she's to shit in her hand and throw it at him - I'm not quite sure I've ever seen someone so astonished
neo: You're the one who's going to get fired.
me: nah fuck it - if she says anything to anyone I'll just deny is and say she's getting senile
me: who's gonna believe I told an old lady to shit in her own hand
Friday, June 19, 2009
Parenting 301
Takin it to a whole nutha level.
The boy had his first golf tournament on Wednesday. It was an open tournament for 9 and 10 year old boys. For 6 of the holes he averaged under 6 strokes a hole, and that pace of 54 would have put him in the top 3.
Unfortunately for him, golf is not 6 holes long. Its 9 holes long and on the "other" three holes he went 10, 15, and 18. Yeah 18 !!!
The 10 and the 15 were functions of him being in a sand trap, and with little experience in the sand trap, hacking away and taking 5 strokes to get out. Until he gets more experience and we're able to practice more, that's just going to happen.
But the 18 is the one that I think is worth mentioning.
The hole was a long par 4 over water. He hit his third shot just short of the water, in the rough, leaving himself about 100 yards to the hole.
My Dad and I stood on the other side of the water, watching him get ready for his approach shot.
" He's not going to try to hit his hybrid out of that rough is he ?", my Dad asked.
" This is not going to go well.", I replied.
You see, the rules prohibit and talking to the players. NO COACHING.
The boy wound up and PLOP, right into water.
He pull out a ball, dropped it back in the same spot....
PLOP ball #2 in the water.
I was writhing in pain as he dropped another ball, same spot, same club....
PLOP....#3.
He stood there for a second, thought about it and went back to his bag.
Whatever relief I felt was shot lived as he came walking back with a three wood. Instead of realizing that the shape of the club was the problem, he just assumed he needed to hit it 'further'.
Big swing and...
PLOP #4
another ball, another swing
PLOP #5
I stood there in pain, my heart aching for the kid. 5 shots in the water....10 penalty strokes, sitting 13 and he still had to go over the water.
He stood there for a couple of minutes trying to collect himself and assess the situation, when the light bulb went off. It was like in a cartoon and for a second I thought I saw an actual light bulb appear over his head and go off.
He walked back to his bag, grabbed a wedge and easily chipped it over the short side of the water. He chipped on, two-putted, and walked off the green.
As painful as that was to watch, and as difficult as it must have been for him to go through the embarrassment and frustration of that, sitting here with a couple days perspective makes me realize the positive benefits of the entire experience.
Had I been playing with him, and told him to put away the club, that lesson would have only lasted the fleeting moment it has every other time we've played. But having gone through that, the concepts of course management, club selection, and problem solving will stick with him the rest of sporting life. And hopefully the lessons of patience and persistence will translate to other areas outside the course.
For Dad, the experience was just as productive. As difficult as it is to see your kids struggle, sometimes you have to be willing to let them fail on their own accord so that they'll learn to succeed in the same way.
Thursday is tourney #2 and an opportunity for both of us to try again.
The boy had his first golf tournament on Wednesday. It was an open tournament for 9 and 10 year old boys. For 6 of the holes he averaged under 6 strokes a hole, and that pace of 54 would have put him in the top 3.
Unfortunately for him, golf is not 6 holes long. Its 9 holes long and on the "other" three holes he went 10, 15, and 18. Yeah 18 !!!
The 10 and the 15 were functions of him being in a sand trap, and with little experience in the sand trap, hacking away and taking 5 strokes to get out. Until he gets more experience and we're able to practice more, that's just going to happen.
But the 18 is the one that I think is worth mentioning.
The hole was a long par 4 over water. He hit his third shot just short of the water, in the rough, leaving himself about 100 yards to the hole.
My Dad and I stood on the other side of the water, watching him get ready for his approach shot.
" He's not going to try to hit his hybrid out of that rough is he ?", my Dad asked.
" This is not going to go well.", I replied.
You see, the rules prohibit and talking to the players. NO COACHING.
The boy wound up and PLOP, right into water.
He pull out a ball, dropped it back in the same spot....
PLOP ball #2 in the water.
I was writhing in pain as he dropped another ball, same spot, same club....
PLOP....#3.
He stood there for a second, thought about it and went back to his bag.
Whatever relief I felt was shot lived as he came walking back with a three wood. Instead of realizing that the shape of the club was the problem, he just assumed he needed to hit it 'further'.
Big swing and...
PLOP #4
another ball, another swing
PLOP #5
I stood there in pain, my heart aching for the kid. 5 shots in the water....10 penalty strokes, sitting 13 and he still had to go over the water.
He stood there for a couple of minutes trying to collect himself and assess the situation, when the light bulb went off. It was like in a cartoon and for a second I thought I saw an actual light bulb appear over his head and go off.
He walked back to his bag, grabbed a wedge and easily chipped it over the short side of the water. He chipped on, two-putted, and walked off the green.
As painful as that was to watch, and as difficult as it must have been for him to go through the embarrassment and frustration of that, sitting here with a couple days perspective makes me realize the positive benefits of the entire experience.
Had I been playing with him, and told him to put away the club, that lesson would have only lasted the fleeting moment it has every other time we've played. But having gone through that, the concepts of course management, club selection, and problem solving will stick with him the rest of sporting life. And hopefully the lessons of patience and persistence will translate to other areas outside the course.
For Dad, the experience was just as productive. As difficult as it is to see your kids struggle, sometimes you have to be willing to let them fail on their own accord so that they'll learn to succeed in the same way.
Thursday is tourney #2 and an opportunity for both of us to try again.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Those Crazy Iranians
I've been watching, fascinated, by the developments of the Iranian elections. Well less fascinated by the elections, but more by the media frenzy and "objective" coverage.
So far I've learned that those Iranians are CA-RAY-ZEEE !
They have controversial elections
The fix elections for their hand picked candidates
People rioting in streets
Police beating the protesters
And these people want nuclear technology ?! They seems like exactly the type of people who would use "the bomb".
Bunch of religous fanatics if you ask me !
God Bless America !!!
So far I've learned that those Iranians are CA-RAY-ZEEE !
They have controversial elections
The fix elections for their hand picked candidates
People rioting in streets
Police beating the protesters
And these people want nuclear technology ?! They seems like exactly the type of people who would use "the bomb".
Bunch of religous fanatics if you ask me !
God Bless America !!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The early days of computing
I was just telling someone a story about the first time I really tried getting online. How a buddy and I say there with our Prodigy, AOL, and Compuserve diskettes and dialed in with 2600 baud modem and sat there for like 15 minutes waiting for the first page of graphics to load up. This, of course, was before the world wide web, and pretty much the only thing you could do was post to a bulletin board/forum and send email. As no one we knew had a computer, email wasn't really an option.
But then I remembered that wasn't my first taste of the internet. About two years eariler I was talking to a guy who was telling me about this great thing coming called the internet and tried to explain to me how he could communicate, free of charge, with other college kids all over the country.
I remember telling him he was full of shit and quite possibly on crack...which in retrospect may have actually been true.
" Hang on," he said, " I'll show you" and then he proceeded to type at like 100,000 words per minute.....after a while he said, " here check this out, someone from Berkley is responding"
I walked over to the screen and patiently waited while a file downloaded then displayed, on the screen in full color, the image of a hot blonde getting teabagged.
" Wow" I thought to myself, " this internet thing has some real potential"
If only I had jumped on that train before it left the station.
But then I remembered that wasn't my first taste of the internet. About two years eariler I was talking to a guy who was telling me about this great thing coming called the internet and tried to explain to me how he could communicate, free of charge, with other college kids all over the country.
I remember telling him he was full of shit and quite possibly on crack...which in retrospect may have actually been true.
" Hang on," he said, " I'll show you" and then he proceeded to type at like 100,000 words per minute.....after a while he said, " here check this out, someone from Berkley is responding"
I walked over to the screen and patiently waited while a file downloaded then displayed, on the screen in full color, the image of a hot blonde getting teabagged.
" Wow" I thought to myself, " this internet thing has some real potential"
If only I had jumped on that train before it left the station.
Friday, June 12, 2009
huh ?
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) - Iranians packed polling stations from boutique-lined streets in north Tehran to conservative bastions in the countryside Friday with a choice that's left the nation divided and on edge: keeping hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in power or electing a reformist who favors greater freedoms and improved ties with the United States.
What ?! Democracy in Iran ?!?!??!!
I thought they were all crazy arabs screaming about Allah and trying to build a bomb out of sand and camel dung.
The press better better be more careful, they're starting to mix-up their propoganda campaigns.
What ?! Democracy in Iran ?!?!??!!
I thought they were all crazy arabs screaming about Allah and trying to build a bomb out of sand and camel dung.
The press better better be more careful, they're starting to mix-up their propoganda campaigns.
Oh Greg
I've spent a fair ammt of time on this blog defending Greg Lemond against the evil empire of Lance.
I just listened to this conversation between Stephanie McIlvain and Greg Lemond.
Goddamn Greg. What a whiney, bitter, douche.
I mean, he's right. Lance is dirty. But gawd.
He starts by lying to Stephanie about taping her, which is shitty, then spends the rest of the time whining.
Its an intersting piece in that it explains quite a bit about Lance, about doping, and outs a few big names...but its barely tolerable because of Greg.
Anyway, here's the link again.
I just listened to this conversation between Stephanie McIlvain and Greg Lemond.
Goddamn Greg. What a whiney, bitter, douche.
I mean, he's right. Lance is dirty. But gawd.
He starts by lying to Stephanie about taping her, which is shitty, then spends the rest of the time whining.
Its an intersting piece in that it explains quite a bit about Lance, about doping, and outs a few big names...but its barely tolerable because of Greg.
Anyway, here's the link again.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Drafted #2
I think Payton was the better pick.
Ryan Leaf is a wanted man in Texas -- and not on the football field.
A warrant was issued for Leaf's arrest on May 20 in Randall County after he failed to turn himself in on drug and burglary charges, The San Diego Union-Tribune reported. On the same day, a county grand jury issued nine charges against him in connection with hydrocodone, a prescription painkiller.
"At one point he said he was going to turn himself in. He hasn't turned himself in yet, and if he gets picked up he's going to be arrested," county prosecutor Lacy Miller said, according to the report. "If he gets picked up out of our jurisdiction, then we will extradite him or use whatever means we have to get him back. Right now he is a wanted individual."
Leaf, 33, had been undergoing drug treatment in British Columbia, Canada, according to the Randall County district attorney's office.
The indictment charged the former San Diego Chargers quarterback and former West Texas A&M quarterbacks coach with one count of burglary to a habitation, seven counts of obtaining a controlled substance by fraud and one count of delivery of a simulated controlled substance.
The indictment alleged Leaf presented an incomplete medical history to several physicians between January 2008 and September 2008 to get or try to get hydrocodone.
Canyon (Texas) police Lt. Dale Davis said Leaf is suspected of breaking into an apartment in Canyon on Oct. 30 and stealing hydrocodone, which had been prescribed to an injured football player.
Leaf could not be reached for comment, and a message left for him at his parents' home was not returned, the Union-Tribune reported.
Leaf, the second overall pick in the 1998 NFL draft, played for the Chargers from 1998 to 2000 and also played for the Dallas Cowboys in 2001. He threw for 3,666 yards and 14 touchdowns in his career.
Ryan Leaf is a wanted man in Texas -- and not on the football field.
A warrant was issued for Leaf's arrest on May 20 in Randall County after he failed to turn himself in on drug and burglary charges, The San Diego Union-Tribune reported. On the same day, a county grand jury issued nine charges against him in connection with hydrocodone, a prescription painkiller.
"At one point he said he was going to turn himself in. He hasn't turned himself in yet, and if he gets picked up he's going to be arrested," county prosecutor Lacy Miller said, according to the report. "If he gets picked up out of our jurisdiction, then we will extradite him or use whatever means we have to get him back. Right now he is a wanted individual."
Leaf, 33, had been undergoing drug treatment in British Columbia, Canada, according to the Randall County district attorney's office.
The indictment charged the former San Diego Chargers quarterback and former West Texas A&M quarterbacks coach with one count of burglary to a habitation, seven counts of obtaining a controlled substance by fraud and one count of delivery of a simulated controlled substance.
The indictment alleged Leaf presented an incomplete medical history to several physicians between January 2008 and September 2008 to get or try to get hydrocodone.
Canyon (Texas) police Lt. Dale Davis said Leaf is suspected of breaking into an apartment in Canyon on Oct. 30 and stealing hydrocodone, which had been prescribed to an injured football player.
Leaf could not be reached for comment, and a message left for him at his parents' home was not returned, the Union-Tribune reported.
Leaf, the second overall pick in the 1998 NFL draft, played for the Chargers from 1998 to 2000 and also played for the Dallas Cowboys in 2001. He threw for 3,666 yards and 14 touchdowns in his career.
Monday, June 08, 2009
motivation
Tiger Woods came back after his surjury and won the Arnold Palmer classic. Since then struggled....well struggled for Tiger, by just about anyone elses standards he would have had a career year.
So after knocking off Arnie's tournament, without having another win under his belt, and with the US Open in two weeks, Tiger tee'd it up at Jack Nicholas' tuornament at Jack's home in Ohio.
First up was a charity skins game. The event ended in a tie that required a chip-off for for closest to the pin...against Jack. Jack hit it close, then Tiger, of course, chipped it in.
He shot 74 on Saturday, his worst score since he was like 12 years old, then came back yesterday to shoot 65 and win the thing by one stroke over Furyk.
He's taken Arnie's, he's taken Jacks. Gary Player should be happy that he doesn't have a tournament.
And one year after winning the thing with a broken leg !!! Tiger is back to being the favorite at this years U.S. Open.
So after knocking off Arnie's tournament, without having another win under his belt, and with the US Open in two weeks, Tiger tee'd it up at Jack Nicholas' tuornament at Jack's home in Ohio.
First up was a charity skins game. The event ended in a tie that required a chip-off for for closest to the pin...against Jack. Jack hit it close, then Tiger, of course, chipped it in.
He shot 74 on Saturday, his worst score since he was like 12 years old, then came back yesterday to shoot 65 and win the thing by one stroke over Furyk.
He's taken Arnie's, he's taken Jacks. Gary Player should be happy that he doesn't have a tournament.
And one year after winning the thing with a broken leg !!! Tiger is back to being the favorite at this years U.S. Open.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
you asked for it
I umpired the little league game last night.
My son was up at the top of the 6th and the first pitch was belt high and slightly outside..." STRIKE ! "
The boy stepped out of the box and stuck his arms out with an annoyed shrug, " are you kidding me ?!" The coach was right on him, " don't argue with the umpire...even if he is your dad."
The bottom of the inning he was pitching, and I was umpiring from out at the mound which gave us a chance to catch up. " I can't believe you called that ball a strike, it was outside. "
" It hit the corner." I answered.
" The corner of the batters box maybe", of all the things I've passed on to the boy, the worst thing I've taught him is how to be a sarcastic smart ass.
Three pitches later he threw one on the outside corner of the plate. I allowed for a dramatic pause... " BALL !" I yelled. Then under under my breath, " don't argue wit the ump....especially if he is your Dad."
He swears that the ball he missed, thrown back from the catcher, was entirely an accident.
My son was up at the top of the 6th and the first pitch was belt high and slightly outside..." STRIKE ! "
The boy stepped out of the box and stuck his arms out with an annoyed shrug, " are you kidding me ?!" The coach was right on him, " don't argue with the umpire...even if he is your dad."
The bottom of the inning he was pitching, and I was umpiring from out at the mound which gave us a chance to catch up. " I can't believe you called that ball a strike, it was outside. "
" It hit the corner." I answered.
" The corner of the batters box maybe", of all the things I've passed on to the boy, the worst thing I've taught him is how to be a sarcastic smart ass.
Three pitches later he threw one on the outside corner of the plate. I allowed for a dramatic pause... " BALL !" I yelled. Then under under my breath, " don't argue wit the ump....especially if he is your Dad."
He swears that the ball he missed, thrown back from the catcher, was entirely an accident.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Monday, June 01, 2009
PURE JOY
This series was a two-out, bases loaded, shot to deep centerfield hit that was caught in the most improbable of ways to save the game.
go from 459 to 473 and go ahead and try not to smile, I dare ya.
go from 459 to 473 and go ahead and try not to smile, I dare ya.
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