Parenting 301

Takin it to a whole nutha level.

The boy had his first golf tournament on Wednesday. It was an open tournament for 9 and 10 year old boys. For 6 of the holes he averaged under 6 strokes a hole, and that pace of 54 would have put him in the top 3.

Unfortunately for him, golf is not 6 holes long. Its 9 holes long and on the "other" three holes he went 10, 15, and 18. Yeah 18 !!!

The 10 and the 15 were functions of him being in a sand trap, and with little experience in the sand trap, hacking away and taking 5 strokes to get out. Until he gets more experience and we're able to practice more, that's just going to happen.

But the 18 is the one that I think is worth mentioning.

The hole was a long par 4 over water. He hit his third shot just short of the water, in the rough, leaving himself about 100 yards to the hole.

My Dad and I stood on the other side of the water, watching him get ready for his approach shot.

" He's not going to try to hit his hybrid out of that rough is he ?", my Dad asked.

" This is not going to go well.", I replied.

You see, the rules prohibit and talking to the players. NO COACHING.

The boy wound up and PLOP, right into water.

He pull out a ball, dropped it back in the same spot....

PLOP ball #2 in the water.

I was writhing in pain as he dropped another ball, same spot, same club....

PLOP....#3.

He stood there for a second, thought about it and went back to his bag.

Whatever relief I felt was shot lived as he came walking back with a three wood. Instead of realizing that the shape of the club was the problem, he just assumed he needed to hit it 'further'.

Big swing and...

PLOP #4

another ball, another swing

PLOP #5

I stood there in pain, my heart aching for the kid. 5 shots in the water....10 penalty strokes, sitting 13 and he still had to go over the water.

He stood there for a couple of minutes trying to collect himself and assess the situation, when the light bulb went off. It was like in a cartoon and for a second I thought I saw an actual light bulb appear over his head and go off.

He walked back to his bag, grabbed a wedge and easily chipped it over the short side of the water. He chipped on, two-putted, and walked off the green.

As painful as that was to watch, and as difficult as it must have been for him to go through the embarrassment and frustration of that, sitting here with a couple days perspective makes me realize the positive benefits of the entire experience.

Had I been playing with him, and told him to put away the club, that lesson would have only lasted the fleeting moment it has every other time we've played. But having gone through that, the concepts of course management, club selection, and problem solving will stick with him the rest of sporting life. And hopefully the lessons of patience and persistence will translate to other areas outside the course.

For Dad, the experience was just as productive. As difficult as it is to see your kids struggle, sometimes you have to be willing to let them fail on their own accord so that they'll learn to succeed in the same way.

Thursday is tourney #2 and an opportunity for both of us to try again.