transcript

me: so this pumpkin headed weatherman comes into our office all the time

me: and he tries to act like a celebrity and is rude to our matronly receptionist
and she gets all upset and is afriad to say anything to him because she's afriad he'll say something to the bosses and get her fired
so I just told her that she has my permission to do something to him the next time he comes in
just so long as its so out of character for her that no one would believe that she did it
she's such a nice old lady, she couldn't think of anything
so I just told this 62 year old woman that the next time he comes in, that she's to shit in her hand and throw it at him - I'm not quite sure I've ever seen someone so astonished

neo: You're the one who's going to get fired.

me: nah fuck it - if she says anything to anyone I'll just deny is and say she's getting senile

me: who's gonna believe I told an old lady to shit in her own hand