catching up

I'm a little slow to post because I spent the better part of the last two days deleting emails. Based on the content of the 1700 messages I had to go through, there must have been a rumor started in my absence that involved my penis being small and not working properly. I'm happy to assure everyone that the rumor is false. Also, should anyone require 'wicked legal buds' or the most recent penny stock tips, I'm now the man with the inside connection.

With all the technology that's available from Ipods, to HDTV, to supercomputing, its odd that the item that I've really grown to appreciate my new mouse. The main reason I like the new mouse is that its a laser mouse without a ball in it. This means that never again in my life will I be required to spend 20 minutes digging mouse schmeg out of my mouse with a letter opener or paper clip. Mouse schmeg...how disgusting. I'm fairly certain that when all is said and done, that they'll find out 'patient zero' didn't contract AIDS from humping a monkey, but rather from mouse schmeg.

SCHMEG...i kinda like typing that word...schmeg, schmeg, schmeg...nice.

Everyone once in a while you come across a word that absolutely fits the object to which its referring. Schmeg....echo.....bumper...taint...you know what I mean.

I suspect girls named Meg don't like the word schmeg. If Card Sharks was still on and that host dude said, " We interviewed 100 girls named Meg. How many of those women indicated that they'd been called schmeg". I suspect you'd have to guess '100'.

Schmeg Ryan....Schmega millions.....ok, sorry. I'll stop.