Proctology 101

Just before vacation, Flick came up with a few good quotes. The young Flick lad was eager to leave, and was in the front lawn proudly displaying his freshly chopped hair from the local butcher. As Flick and I came outside from a successful (for me) game of darts, the boy began dancing with glee, despite the fact that he was already in mid-chug from a big cup of water. Since he is a chip off the ol' lunatic, his dancing (how would a music critic say this?) unsuccessful meshed the worlds of mambo, jumbo, hip-hop, hop scotch, The Croatian Shuffle, and punk-a-billy with the mating rituals of an epileptic walrus. I stood there somewhat stunned at the staggering amount of absurdity contained in such a small amount of time. It was as if all of Rocky Balboa's lines were simultaneously delivered by Don Knotts impersonating Olive Oyl. Flick didn't bat an eye, but simply muttered "go find yourself a village."

The second, more powerful quote was in response to the Flick wife and kids suddenly (after 5 months) discovering the endpoint for the cat's digestive tract. Once again Flick was able to utter a cluster of words that will make it through eternity without ever being repeated.

"And they all gathered around his asshole like the yule log at Christmas."