No sleep

Last night I couldn't sleep. When I finally did nod off, I had a dream that I was fighting midgets...or little people, or whatever you want to call them. Then I definitely couldn't fall asleep.

It brought back memories of one of the greatest threads ever...

From TwoPlusTwo :

Good drunken debate from a few nights ago.

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.

- You are not allowed to touch a wall.

- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."

- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.

- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.

- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.

* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?

Tebow

When he was in college I wasn't a Tebow fan, nor a Tebow hater.

During the Denver QB controversy I became interested.

Over the last three weeks I've become a fan.

As much as I've enjoyed the comeback victories, the hard nosed running style, and the unpredictability that give everyone a break from the standard run and gun nonsense that the NFL has become...even more I've enjoyed tuning in on Monday mornings and listening to the old retired dinosaurs bitch and moan about how Tebow isn't a real quarterback and how this winning streak can't possibly last.

What I don't get with guys like Mike Golic and Steve Young et al is that they're the same guys who have been yelling for years about how soft the game has gotten. Golic especially has a regular schtick about the rule that protect the QB and he longs for the days of Sonny Jurgussen and playing without facemasks. Well in Tim Tebow, he's getting exactly what he wants and the first thing he does is criticize the guy.

The only explanation for this has to be religion. The don't like Tebow because he wears his faith on his sleeve....literally. And in some cases he wore his faith on his face. Worse yet, according to those who know , its not an act...he's actually a genuine guy who carries himself the same way whether the cameras are on or off.

Now I'm not a religious guy, but I find this whole thing fascinating.

Muhammad Ali is an icon for devotion to his faith. Tiger Woods is vilified for his lack of morality. Its heart-warming for NASCAR to have a pre-race prayer, but Chris Jackson (Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf ) got chased out of the NBA for refusing the national anthem in favor of his religion.

In sports, as in the rest of American life, we love just a little bit of religion.

No religion and you're a faithless amoral monster. Adhere to the tenants of your faith and your a extremist zealot. But give the sign of the cross after hitting a home run, and then jack yourself full or steroids, and you're a first ballot hall-of-famer.

God Bless America. Just not too much.

Peyton Manning is on his way out. You've Rothlesberger and Vick abusing man and beast(I know Steelers fans....allegedly...I mean allegedly). Eli Manning is perpetually confused. You have wide receivers shooting themselves and defensive backs shooting other people. Who are you going to build the image of this league around for the next 5 years....Tom Brady ? Great...make Brady your poster boy, get Fabio to be the commissioner and every Sunday will be filled with the charisma of an old sock.

Tebow is bringing some excitement to a season where Oakland and Houston are leading two of this divisions. My message to the media...Enjoy it. If you don't want religion in your football, then stop letting religion affect your football, and start enjoying a QB who crosses the line of scrimmage head first instead of feet first, and has done nothing less than gone 5 - 1 with a mediocre team in his first year.

I put the turkey in turkey day

Things have been going so well that I though it best to go ahead and get drunk last night.

Today has been a good reminder why I started with the fruit and vege thing in the first place.

Sigh.

cookie cookie

Woke up this morning and the lead news story started out with footage of rioters running from police swinging billy clubs. It wasn't until the newsmodel told me that it was Egypt that I realized it wasn't Portland.

Sidney Crosby is the only hope that the NHL has of anyone paying attention to hockey. With the NBA season totally scuttled, this year is the only hope they have of attracting viewers and advertisers. In the midst of this all-in situation Crosby returned to the ice last night and promptly scored two goals and two assists. If the NHL has any clue, they'll institute a " no checking Crosby" rule and immediately ban any player who makes contact with him on or off the ice.

While on the subject of oft-injured prodigies, Tiger Woods is back. The last 3 months the pundits have written Tiger off. They conventional wisdom is that he'll never return to his former self and that his run of majors is over. I suppose they've forgotten that he won the US Open with a busted leg, almost won the Master two weeks back, and finished 4th in this year's Masters while running dangerously low on Hooters waitresses. The President's Cup proved that he's back to 85%, which makes him 110% better than anyone else. This may not mean much to you, but with no NBA, and after Ovenchkin breaks Crosby's arm, they'll be no sports left to watch in the spring so you might was well brush up.

My daughter has become and evangelical christian. Not because she believes in God, but because she knows that
a. If she asks my wife to read a bible story to her at night, my wife is in capable of saying no so it extends bedtime by 20 minutes.
and
b. She's supposed to read 15 minutes each night for school. By listing The Bible on her sheet as the book she's reading, the teacher never blames her for anything that goes wrong in the class, and she never actually has to read...she make my wife do it for her before bed.

Huck Finn is funny...unless he's your daughter.


Michael Scott as his worst, Steve Carell at his best

Monday, monday

Halfway done and so far so good...with some exceptions.

It turns out that the 15 day program is essentially the 5 day program done 3 times. I'm starting to doubt the point in that.

The main problem I've run into with this experiment is the lack of protein. Especially after a 2 hour ride on Sat and another 1:15 on Sunday, I just couldn't figure out a way to get enough plant based protein on just fruits and veges. To those ends I added some more almond butter and peanut butter, as well as a couple of hard boiled eggs.

The plan for this week is to continue with the full compliment of fruits and vegetables as planned, but to supplement that small portions of lean protein (egg, fish, lean meat) throughout the week as needed.

I'm enjoying adding to this blog again with some regularity and would like to do so beyond this focus on food, but right now with occupy protesters being pepper sprays and football coaches molesting young boys, there's not a lot of pop culture worth discussing.

Its also tough to think of stuff to write when you're starving to death.

226

Unsustainable pace, but a nice incentive.

cruise control

Sweet potato and carrot fries last night. 30 minute ride and a good night's sleep. I'm starting to think that all those people touting the virtues of healthy living might actually by onto something.

This morning I cut the top off an apple and a pear, scooped out the cores, then refilled the center with maple syrup, cinnamon, and raisins. The I put the tops back on and baked it all for 35 minutes. Pretty friggen good.

Generally speaking this is a lot easier than I anticipated. That being said, I did have a dream last night that I was eating an everything bagel, double toasted with butter and washing it down with a tall glass of scotch. It would take one hell of a stuffed apple to top that combination.

Media whores

The news continues to refer to the Sandusky situation as a "sex scandal" or more recently a "sex abuse scandal".

It's not.

It's horrible case of rape, peodphilia, assault, abuse, and possibly a dozen other things, but it's not a "sex" scandal. But they insist on listing it as one in the headlines and on the tv screens.

The reason ? Because the want to titillate you into watching. And while using sex to sell a story when it's Paris Hilton flashing her beaver is crass, it's mostly harmless. But when you sexualize the abuse of a ten year old boy to sell bars of soap, online stock trading, and of all fucking things Cialis, well then you've pretty much become the crackhead handing out flyers to a peep show outside the casino men's room...you've just got a nicer suit and marginally better crack.

Saved by an acorn squash

I almost cracked last night.

I grilled steaks for the kids for dinner and it was just about too much to bear.

While the steaks were cooking I prepared dinner for my wife and I. One the menu was acorn squash, baked and stuffed with a portabella, garlic and onion stuffing. I've never had acorn squash and the mushrooms look rather disgusting, but I had all the ingredients so I figured I'd just give it a try. If all else failed, the kids were going to get less steak than they bargained for.

In short, the squash was fantastic. The mushroom stuffing was full of flavor and was indistinguishable from bread stuffing. The squash has a nice flavor, good texture, and was filling. The meal was great. Its definitely something that I'll add to my regular menu when the 15 days are up.

Today brought a very welcome change. After Monday's green juice, and Tuesday's red juice, today was a full on fruit juice. Blackberry, strawberry, raspberry, apple and banana and damn was it good. I drank it, and I coffee and right now I'm totally jacked. I suspect that I'll crash in about 15 minutes, but its surely a welcome change from the sluggish feeling I had yesterday.

The one unintended benefit of this process has been with our family. Last night was the second night in a row where the entire family was in the kitchen together, doing homework, preparing food, and eating as a family. This is in start contrast to our usual rushing around and eating on the fly on the way to one activity or another. Having to plan time for food prep and designate dinner time is a pain for scheduling, but at least in the short period of time has been well worth the effort. And its in those seeming innocuous times of just being together that the opportunity to talk and share really present themselves.

Ok, this post is far too fluffy, feel good, and positive to start talking about the effect of red beet juice on bathroom activities, so I'll save that for tomorrow. In the meantime, here's a picture of last night's dinner.

Day 2

I made the mistake of mentioning my efforts to my poker group. Now my phone rings about every hour with people texting me pictures of what they're eating....bacon, hamburgers, brownies, etc.

Day one ended rather uneventful except for my jaw hurting. Hamburgers are soft. Chicken wings are soft. Broccoli you gotta chew. I think vegetarians are skinny just because their jaws are too tired to keep eating.

I actually felt decent this morning and had a big bowl of fruit in the am and followed it up with a light bike ride.

Everything after that has been downhill....Today's juice is red. It has the look and consistency of blood. Beets, radish, tomatoes, etc. Its gross. Lunch was an apple and more broccoli and peas.

I feel pretty crappy. I had a coffee just for a little energy boost but that was short lived. I'm having a tough time concentrating and feel a little lightheaded. The only two things keeping me in the game are the fact that my symptoms are not nearly as bad as a hangover, so I'm used to working productively in a much worse state & I went into this knowing that the first three days were going to see my get progressively worse until things started getting better.

The only real issue I had was when I was going through the cabinet to get a container for lunch I knocked over a bag of Durritos. When I went to wrap them back up and puff of air came out of the bag with a strong smell of Durrito goodness. That one hurt. And it was Cool Ranch. mmmmmmmmmmm cool ranch.

Camel ass

Trying a new diet as a result of watching the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead .

Essentially its 15 days of nothing but fruits and vegetables. Don't ask me if its a "cleanse", because I don't know what a cleanse is but I have a feeling that doing one would entail me kissing other men.

To prepare for the next 15 days, I:

a. went to the store and bought $150 worth of fruits and vegetables
b. went on a three day bender eating and drinking everything in sight, including having a full Thanksgiving meal two weeks ahead of time.

This morning I woke up at 5:30 and prepared my "meals" for the day.

I made an apple, cherry, and raisin bake, with nutmeg and cinnamon. While that was cooking I made my juice for the day comprised of green vegetables. Then I made today's salad for lunch.

Just finished lunch and here are my impressions:

- 1 hour of food prep time in the morning is not nearly as convenient as coffee and donut followed by a cheeseburger for lunch.
- $150 worth of vegetables doesn't go nearly as far as I expected.
- blended up green vegetables taste what I imagine a camels ass tastes like.

Only 14.5 days to go.

Starting numbers
weight: 234 lbs
general feeling: tired and sore ( i DID have a 3 day bender)

feeling at post time: the same except very much desiring a donut, cheeseburger and coffee if for nothing else then to deal with the camel taste.