St. Patty's Weekend Top 10

10 - Number of drinks I had, minus shots, between 1 pm and 5 pm on Friday.

9 - o'clock, when I mercifully passed out in my living room.

8 - as in inches...as in the size of the hole in my underpants after I lost a wrestling match that turned into a uber-weggie. And yes I'm almost 40 years old and yes, I'm probably gay, get over it.

7 - Time I woke up and shoveled the driveway...still drunk.

6 - Number of guys that we started with at the bar at noon.

5 - The number of those guys that did NOT end up in the hospital at the end of the night. ** tip to self - stop encouraging the diabetic to do shots.

4 - Number of times I called my buddies wife to tell her, " Don't worry I'll make sure he gets home safely."....which of course it came out, " doanworryboutit...imakedahomesabbly", which I'm sure was terribly reassuring.

3 - Number of irish car bombs I drank.

2 - Number of pairs of fat pants that I broke down and bought. That's right, size 38 waist.

1 - Number of times I begged my wife to not make me go to a little kids birthday party on Saturday afternoon. Coincidently, also the number of times she said, " You're going...idiot"

Thank goodness it only comes once a year.