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How to get picked out of a vegas poker room

Rounding the corner in front of the Flamingo, my friend and I run into Dustin Dirksen, high-stakes online professional and full on LAG-tard.

After the initial hellos and handshakes, Dirksen, beer in hand, jumped straight into his latest Las Vegas story.

At around 2 a.m. on a Monday night, Dirksen and his friend were sitting at a $1/$2 No-Limit table at O'Sheas.

As you would imagine from a player who plays games with a big blind equal to the entire buy-in at a $1/$2 table, he can only play the game for so long until something sticky has to hit the fan.


After some half-a-dozen Newcastles and some ridiculously aggressive action, the two decide to put it all-in and flip for their stacks. Wanting to flip with just his friend, Dirksen asks the entire table if it would be cool for him to pay everyone $2 for them to all fold next hand, letting him and his friend flip unhindered.

Everyone agrees, Dirksen pays the players $2 each and the cards get dealt. Dirksen and his friend push their stacks and the whole table folds to the button who looks down to pocket aces.

Instead of laughing and mucking the aces face up, he announces "call," and moves his chips across the line.

Dirksen, in a state of disbelief, tries some diplomacy and reminds buddy-aces that he agreed to fold, and accepted the $2 to do so. Buddy says he's all in and pushes his chips across the line.

Dirksen, matter of factly, informs the guy "no you're not," and pushes his chips back to the rail.

When buddy moves his chips across the line for the second time, Dirksen's composure starts to go south. Pushing buddy's chips back to the rail a second time, Dirksen tells the guy that he's not all in, and he's going to get punched in the face.

Buddy, whose girlfriend has been sitting behind him the entire time, starts to argue about the hand and the threat, bringing his girlfriend into the mix.

Dirksen, starting to lose it, tells the guy that not only will he punch him in the face, but if he doesn't fold the hand, he'll punch his girlfriend in the face as well.

Perhaps it was the nearby Vegas casino security, or the fact that Dirksen is not a particularly intimidating guy, but buddy-aces was not having any of the physical threats. Unperturbed by the face-punch warnings, buddy pushes his chips across the line for a third time.

The whole scenario being a matter of principal, it was at this moment Dirksen felt he should kick it up a notch.

After informing buddy one more time he's not all in, Dirksen grabs buddy's chips and throws them on the floor. Looking the guy in the eyes, he yells:

"I will knife you in the parking lot."

Regardless of the fact that:

A) He had no knife

B) It was an obviously drunken rage-induced threat

C) O'Sheas doesn't have a parking lot

The passion and persistence (or outright lunacy) of his argument pays off as buddy agrees to fold.

As you can imagine, casino security isn't too fond of players issuing death threats on the casino floor. The floorman and a couple of security guards ask Dirksen to leave the property after his 6-3 offsuit loses the pot.