oppsy

I found a live game last night and we played until after 1 a.m. When I got home I slept in the guest room and didn't set an alarm figuring that I'd just wake up when the kids got up.

Well I figured wrong.

Since there's no school everyone slept in, including me. I woke up an hour after I was supposed to be here. And I'm here now, unshaven, disheveled, and just a little too hung over for my liking.

Now you might think it was the covorting that made me over sleep, or you might think the drinking had something to do with it. I'm going to admit those may have been contributing factors. The real reason that I overslept is that I laid in bed wide-eyed trying to figure out if I really heard the conversations that I heard last night or if, by chance, I hallucinated it all. In the end I figured that I just wasn't creative nor demented enough to make some of it up.

And for those women-libbers who think that there's nothing different between the sexes, call me the next time you have a bunco game where this kind of stuff is said...

" My wife wife has some new body oil she keeps in the shower that feel really good when you whack off...almost like astro glide "

" How about Afro Sheen ?"

" You can't whack off with Afro Sheen !"

" Sure, it will make your pubes nice and nappy."


" Oh you know your mother-in-law takes it in the Hershey highway" ( Followed by everyone at the table offering their favorite word for the anus and/or anal sex)


" If I have to wear a condom, I have to punch it just to feel anything" - followed by repeated simulation of punching to the groin.

" You have a Aztec housekeeper ? I gotta get me one of them. Will you sublet her ? "

" You better watch your ass, you know he'll be hiding in the bushes with a bottle of wine trying to steal your Aztec housekeeper. "

" Oooo I really have to take a dump. I'm telling you it like THIS big around ( hands apart like he's holding a football) and it's poking out my ass like a tortise head."......" don't you mean turtle's head ?"...." No, it's so big it's been upgraded to tortise "

And my personal favorite... " I've been drinking, like, a six pack a day...( turns and looks at me)...you know what that's like. Whatya mean, you write on your blog that you have a drinking problem !"


And that's just the stuff that I'm willing to allow myself to remember. I guess when you break it down, the thing that has me the most disturbed really isn't that conversation.

I guess what really has me rattled is how much I enjoy it.

P.S. If any wives of the players read this blog I just want to reassure you that your husband was the exception. While everyone else was babbling on, he was sitting there quietly just playing his card and really seemed somewhat offended.