typical work conversation

My Dad is a professional pilot and has the following conversation on a regular basis.

Passenger: When can we leave ?

Pilot: When the storm passes

Passenger: When's that ?

Pilot: Looks like about 2 hours.

Passenger: TWO HOURS !!!! WE CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG. I HAVE BUSINESS !

Pilot: Well I'm not flying the plane in a lightning storm, so unless you plan on flying, we aren't going anywhere.

2 minutes later

Passengerr: Can we go yet ?

Pilot: No. If we go up now we will die in a firey crash.


2 minutes later

Passengerr: Can we go yet ?

Pilot: No.

2 minutes later

Passengerr: Can we go yet ?

Pilot: No.

1 minute later

Passenger: Can we go yet ?

Pilot: ( exasperated) You know what ? YEAH, FINE, YOU WANNA GO THAT BADLY. GET IN THE PLANE.

Passenger: Is it safe ?

Pilot: NO IT'S NOT SAFE, I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU IT'S NOT SAFE.

Passenger: Oh. Um, OK maybe we should wait.

2 minutes later

Passenger: Is it safe yet ?



Which sadly reminds me of my job anymore.


Concerned Resident and/or elected officiail ..AKA CREO

Busy And Responsible Friendly Servent ( BARFS)...AKA Flick


CREO: The creek is getting flooded, it's because the catch basin is wrong.

BARFS: Hang on a second. Do you mean the catch basin or the construction dentention basin ?

CREO: Whatever. You know the thing with the water.

BARFS: Um, ok Im going to assume you mean the detention basin. Yeah, how is it wrong ?

CREO: The water runs out of it too slowly and it's causing flooding.

BARFS: Well if the water is running out too slowly...how is there flooding ?

CREO: Because the holes are too small.

BARFS: (confused, as usual, by this logic) So you'd want me to ....?

CREO: Fix it.

BARFS: Ok, so despite $10,000 of engineering being done to build the basin, a professional contractor building the basin, an inspector affirming that everything is working properly, and me telling you that the area floods LESS than it has over the last 20 years.....you're telling me that the basin is broke because the holes are too small.

CREO: You got it.

BARFS: And you'd like me to "make the holes bigger" so that the water leaves the basin FASTER.

CREO: Yes

BARFS: And then somehow, through voo-doo magic perhaps, that shoving MORE water...FASTER...into the creek will make the creek flood LESS ?

CREO: Well....whatever you think best.