problem solving

I've always been convinved that all the worlds problems* could be solved if you just had the right forum for dialogue. The UN is a nice effort, but they're lacking a few things...mainly beer and a big screen TV. If you put men in a room with booze and sports they can usually come to a mutually agreed upon conclussion. Last night's conversation is a perfect example...


B: I think more grand slams are hit per opportunity then home runs hit at bat, because pitchers don't have the option of walking the batter

R: Except for Bonds. I've seen them walk Bonds with the bases loaded just to limit the damage to one run.

B: You mean pitch to the outside or intentionally walk ?

R: Intentionally.

B: Get the fuck outta here.

R: Seriously. I think it's been done more than once.

B: Jeeze. If you're going to do that why not just bean him. I mean if you're going to give him the base why not throw at his giant head.

R: You should throw at his dick. That would get his attention.

B: With Bonds, if you threw it at his crotch, he'd probably just whip it out and hit a home run with his dick.

R: OK here's the deal ...if you hit a home run with you dick you go immediately into the Hall of Fame.

B: RIGHT ! You go around the bases and when you get to home, they're waiting for you there and you get innagurated right on the spot.

R: No, no, no...HERE is the deal. If you hit a home run with your dick you get to LIVE in the hall of fame.

B: So let me get this straight. Bonds is up. The pitcher throws at his dick. He whips it out and hits it out of the park with his penis...and he gets to LIVE in the Hall of Fame. I like it ! Perfect. I agree.

R: And if its a grand slam, they just rename the place from the Hall of Fame the Hall of Bond's Home Run Hitting Dick.

B: Word.


* ( by solving the worlds problems I mean, you know, the problems between men. You could have 100 big screen TV and 1000 cases of beer, and you're still not going to figure out why you get laid less when after marriage or any of the other crazy shit that women do)