NOT about genitalia

For years I worked at a municipal golf course. Those places go a long way to explaining how Brian Doyle Murray came up with the idea of Caddyshack. In any given season so many odd things happen that you just start to assume that the bizarre is commonplace.

A couple that come immediately to mind.

* Public course are renowned for bad play and slow play. Occasionally you get a guy who thinks that his $10 greens fees entitles him to the same pace and quality of play that he sees on TV or at the local country club. These guys bitch and moan and complain and generally being down the level of fun for the rest of the guys out there in t-shirts, cut off jeans, and a cooler of beer. Every once in a while those worlds collide. After having words on a couple of tee boxes a frustrated tiger-wannabe became insistent that the drunken construction worker let him play through. The construction worker, for the third time told him NO and that if persisted in hassling his group that an ass whooping might be in his future. Tiger Jr. being and asshole...and at this point an outsized asshole picked up a golf club and raised it in a threatening manner. The construction worked laughed...walked over to his bag...pulled out a handgun and said " you wanna play through now motherfucker ?"

* A fellow employee had a reputation for being a bit lazy and perhaps smoking a little weed on company time. He would often get in the utility cart and drive around pretending to do work avoiding having to interact with any of the golfers. One afternoon an elderly man was escorted off the course, with the help of his playing partners, covered in blood. The golfer had fallen on a bridge and smashed his face. To further upset the group they said " Benny was laying there all bloody and knocked out and your worker drove right past him without stopping to help. We tried to flag him down and he just made a gesture and drove off" After dealing with the situation I went and found Joe back in the garage. "What the hell happened out there ?' I asked. " I dunno, I saw the dude laying face first on the bridge, but his arm was in the water....I just assumed he was fishing around for a lost ball. And I thought the other dudes were waving hello. "