taking action

From: Bxxx LXXXXXX
To: 'Consumer.Affairs@fritolay.com'
sent: Fri 3/24/2006 11:12 AM
subject: straighten up !


Dear Cracker Jackians:

I have 3 children ages 7, 5, and as of yesterday…4, and I’m trying to bring them up ‘right’. For me this has been increasingly difficult to do as all the good Bugs Bunny cartoons have been edited to remove overt acts of violence ( oh I long for the days of Baby Face Finster), all the see-saws and metal slides have been removed from the parks, and baseball cards should come with syringe needles instead of dusty flatboard gum.

One of the things that I really thought I could count on was Cracker Jacks. I mean it’s in the baseball song for cripesakes. But it’s with a heavy heart that I have to write this email. I picked up a bag of Cracker Jacks yesterday and could not have been more disappointed….( well that’s not exactly true, if I found a severed finger in the bag I suppose that would be more disappointing, but I think you get my gist)….anyway, here are my list of complaints:

• A BAG !?!?!? Cracker Jack in a bag is like getting Pringles in…well…a bag. Cracker Jacks should come in a box. Period.
• There were exactly 4 and ½ peanuts in my 1.5 ounce bag. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about settling or the randomization of packaging or anything of the sort. The product is advertised and known as Caramel Coated Popcorn and Peanuts….not Caramel Coated Popcorn and a couple of shriveled up lumps in the bottom of the bag. Hell, at the rate you’re going you can pretty much remove the warning label that reads CONTAINS A PEANUT INGREDIENT. Anyway, you get this idea…more peanuts.
• Lastly, and this is my biggest beef….what the hell kind of things are your trying to sell as prizes these days ?!?!?! I bought your product excitingly expecting a blow spinner or a tattoo…at worst a magnifying glass. But instead I got some sort of math problem…seriously ! a math problem…are you even aware of the fact that’s what you’re giving out ? I don’t even think I have to expand upon my point here.

Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love you guys. I WANT to be a customer. But if you keep this up you might was well change the name of your product from “Cracker Jack” to “Cracker Puh-leeze”. You wanna go the way of Astro Pops and the Reggie Bar ? You wanna be replaced by….do I dare say it…..Fiddle Faddle ? Come on guys, get it together. Keep America Strong.

Sincerely,

Bxxx Lxxxxxx