I sent all my poker money to a buddy and here is our recent IM conversation:
FLICK: hey, send me my money
DUDEWHOHASMYMONEY: no way
FLICK: good on ya...just testing
DUDEWHOHASMYMONEY: this is not one of the designated time periods
FLICK: no seroiusly, send me my money
DUDEWHOHASMYMONEY: hey I can't I can only disperse it at the designated times
FLICK: damn you're good at this
which is a lot better than when I tried to get my bookie to stop taking bets from me which went like:
Me: Hey Jack, listen, I have a gambling problem. If I call you and tell you that I want to place a bet, please don't take any bets from me.
Jack: Ok
(two days later)
Me: Hey Jack, it's Flick. I want two dimes on Denver giving the points.
Jack: You said I'm not supposed to take bets from you.
Me: Fuck that.
Jack: OK, two dimes....Denver and the points.
Me: What the fuck....I told you two days ago that you're not supposed to be taking bets from me !
Jack: Dude. I'm not your fucking therapist or your mother, I'm your bookie. I take bets, that's what I do. So what do you want Denver or not ?
Me: Ummm, Ok Denver giving.
Jack: Two dimes ?
Me: Yeah. Two dimes.
BTW Joe Montana drove KC 91 yards in the final minutes to beat Denver in that game in one of the most spectacular quarterback matchups that I've ever seen.
But BOO fucking HOO. No one likes a bad beat story.
As a follow-up to yesterday's crisco story I was telling someone about another time that I had some weird shit in my hair.
I was Kenickie in a high school production of Grease and yes I had to sing " Greased Lightning" ( oh yeah, well fuck you for laughing)...but the point of the story is that it was a 4 day run. And on the last night as we were making final preparations we ran out of hair gel. With only 20 minutes to go to show time there wasn't a chance to get some more and in an act of desparation I grabbed the best thing that i could find which ended up being Vasoline. I actually worked pretty well.
The trouble came that night when I went to wash it out. After around 22 vigerous washings the shit was still in my hair....although my head was starting to bead water like the hood of a freshly polished car.
So someone told me that there was no way that shampoo was going to get the Vasoline out...but that mayonaise would. So panicked I gave it a try...and it worked !!!! Mayonaise get's Vasoline out of your hair...although I have no fucking idea how the person I asked know that...nor do I want to know.
The next question, natually, is what gets mayonaise out of your hair. And the answer to that is NOTHING. As an aside, mayo makes your hair full and manageable...unfotunately it also makes it stinky. So for the next week I walked around smelling like a ham sandwich. But damn did my hair look good. For a good 5 days I never stood still and hung out near the cafeteria as much as possible. The last thing you need in high school is a nickname like potato-salad head or some shit like that.
Anyway....
This is an email that I got in response to me tell a spammer to fuck off. You gotta give the dude credit for actually responding.
From: xxxxxxx.net Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To: "flick"
Subject: Re: Confirming Appointments Checklist
Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2006 12:08:13 -0400
You have been removed. No more shit will be sent to you.
Sorry for any inconvenience.
Best, Webmaster
----- Original Message -----
From: "flick"
To:
Sent: Thursday, June 22, 2006 11:38 AM
Subject: Re: Confirming Appointments Checklist
> please stop sending me this shit
>
> --- xxxxxxxxx.net wrote:
>
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