poker post

Some of you complain when I write about cards. If you are one of those people come back tomorrow.

This isn't necessarily about cards, but is a list of some actual conversations from Saturday night. They're only humorous if you know a little bit about cards...or crazy people.

Pub poker continues to bring a slew of new players to the game and I find myself invited to a number of new games that seem to be popping up all over the county. These games never cease to be the source of great amusement. Just when I thought I’d heard it all I find myself pleasantly surprised. There are some excerpts from conversations that actually occurred in just one night’s play last Saturday.

HIM: So we're not going to have any blinds. Everyone is going to ante a quarter and then the dealer is going to pay the total.>

Me: huh ? Are we going to ante or is the dealer going to post....or both ?

HIM: ( getting annoyed) Everyone is going to ante a quarter and then the dealer is going to pay the total.

Me: (giving up ) OK

Then while the dude was finishing his cigarette, I went inside and told everyone that we were going to play with standard blinds and no antes and we started without him. I'm still not sure what the heck he was talking about.
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We're going to play 3 card poker. It's exactly like ‘regular poker’ except you get three cards....and you get them one at a time....and straights beat flushes...but other than that it's just like regular poker.

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Can we pause the game so i can have a cigarette

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My Dad is great at poker, he has 235,000 chips online

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I actually had to say, " Drew...DREW...wake up man,action to you"

DREW: I check in the dark.

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HIM: OK, no crazy wild card shit here. Just regular poker......the first game we'll play...Follow the Queen. ( five mins later I call hold'em)

HIM: HOLDEM ! I aint playing no limit hold'em, you can't bluff. I'm just going to fold

ME: We're not playing limit, we're playing pot limit

HIM: Same thing, I'm out...(looks at cards)...Oh wait, I'll play this on, I'm in!

( then my KJ beat his K6 when the board went KJ392 rainbow)

HIM: see, that’s why I never play.

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MOM: Don't stand on the cellar door, sometimes people fall in.

Me: where's the cellar door ?

Mom: under the throw rug you're standing on
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HIM: Ok, we'll play pot limit

HIS BUDDY: how does that work ?

HIM: well the way we're going to play it is 25 cent minimum bet, $1 maximum bet...limit.... except for the last bet...on the last bet you can match the pot...and the call.

HIS BUDDY ( understandably): Huh ?

HIM: Oh jeeze, what are you retarded, don't worry about it, just play

HIS BUDDY's FIRST ACTION: I bet $2

HIM : ARRRGHHHH - You're a moron.

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