pubbed it

I had to get out of my house.

No one was doing anything wrong. I had no issue with anyone in the family. I just HAD to get out. I was going stir crazy.

So I said to my wife, " do you mind if I head out for a while."

"NOW ?"

I knew this wasn't going to go well.

" Well you see, these guys are playing some cards and I just want to run over there for a little while."

With a total lack of enthusiasm for this idea I was told, " Fine. go."

I could tell this was going to cost me, but I couldn't take it...I had to get the hell outta there....so I made a run for it.

I hadn't gone into details, but I was headed over to this hole in the wall bar to play my first ever 'pub' poker. Essentially, it's free poker and they give the top three players gift certificates to whatever bar or restaurant that you're at.

Pub Poker is the new kareoke.

In this particular instance...the word pub was stretching it quite a bit. This was more like the basement of a frat house. The place was enveloped in a fog of cigarette smoke that you could only escape of sitting down or learning over slightly. I'd put visibilty at head level to 5 feet or less. The smell was something similar to stale beer served out of an old shoe. And it was the first place where I ever ordered a manhatten and got it served in a regular glass..with a straw.

For the first time in a long long time, I felt right at home.

I walked in after play had started and was directed to take the seat of the local barfly. A friend had him holding my seat for me and thankfully he was too drunk for anyone to let him try and play in my place. I settled in, folded the first few hands and tried to figure out what was what.

As I surveryed the room I recognized some of the people from last weeked diabetes game ( see previous post). Some of the Lititz crew was there getting in a little practice. And there were a lot of new faces. All in all we looked to have around 40 or so players.

My table was a slugfest. Every hand saw chips flying. I folded for the first half hour just trying to get a read on the other players, but every hand was folded before the showdown. Then finally as blinds went up, people started going all-in and I was able to get some reads. Hand after hand I saw people playing KJ vs 55 and Q 10 vs 78s. This is exactly the type of stuff that is a result of ESPN showing the world series of poker over and over. On ESPN they show two things....weird shit and the final table. That would be like only ever seeing basketball on Sportscenter and then going to play yourself. You'd wonder what all the dribbling around was about as you'd think the entire game was dunks and half court shots. Anyway, once I knew what the score was I quickly trippled my chips and was moved to the next table.

At my new table we were down from 40 players to the last 18. I'm didn't have an exact count, but I was in the top 3 overall. All in all I was having a ton of fun and enoying the company of my fellow players. I also had the benefit of being placed next to one of the only women in the tournament so the odor in my immediate vacinity got upgraded by about 10,000 showers lifetime. I didn't want to count my chickens before they were hatched, but I did inquire about the prize and was told that the winner was going to get a $50 gift certificate. Now while that might not sound like much you high falutin' city folk...$50 in this joint was going result in me needing a new liver.

Then the phone rang.

I looked at the ID and it was my wife. I had considered taking outside, but they were still sitting the new tables and things were pretty quiet. I answered the phone and my wife started explaining that the boy had a fever and asked if I could please give him some motrin when I got home.

" no problem dear...."

and I should hung up right there...but I had to ask..." can you leave the motrin out so I don't have to dig for it ?"

That just left enough time for the jukebox to kick in with a rousing rendition of Motley Crews " Girls Girls Girls"........then because the music was so loud, the woman next to me had to shout at the rest of the table as she got ready to deal, " OK BOYS, LET'S DO IT ! YOU'RE SMALL AND YOU'RE BIG. WOO-HOO !"

Now, see, here's the thing....I didn't mean to keep anything from my wife....I just didn't feel like getting into it as to where or when I was playing. I was just in a rush to get outta there and left it at ' going to play poker'.

From her perspective, she figured i was heading over to a home game with a couple of guys. So when she called to let me know that we had a sick child...( you know, the one that I had ran out on to go gambling ).....instead of being at some dudes house playing poker....I was in some bar, rocking out to Motley Crew, and hanging with some drunken woman.

Needless to say, I dumped all my chips in the next two hands and then drove across 4 lawns and broke several traffic laws in an attempt to get home before all my shit ended up on the front lawn.

Thankfully I was able to explain the miscommunication before she could get the gun loaded.

And the boy is now on his second dose of ampacillin and on the road to recovery.