Dr. Phil...Neikro

Since returning from the trip I've averaged 10 hours a sleep a night. I have not had even one beer. I have not played one hand of poker. Big Bad Bill is Sweet William now.

I feel like the proverbial kid who's parents catch him smoking and make him smoke of box of cigars to smother the desire in him once and forall.

I'm sure it will pass.

BTW, I don't know of that cigar thing works or not, but I can tell you that it doesn't work with illicit drugs. I have a buddy who's parents found his stash and made him sit there and smoke the entire baggie as a deterrent. Yeah, he's a big stoner now.

So last night was the boy's first baseball practice. The other night was a organizational meeting with 12 families. 11 of the families sat there trying to listen while the meeting was being disrupted by the twelveth kid while his father sat there doing nothing. It was everything I could do to not intervene, but I just kept saying to myself, " don't embarass my wife, don't embarass my wife". So anyway last night was the first practice and right from the start this little shit of a kid starts up again. He's running around, asking stupid questions, and distracting the other kids. The entire time his parents did not say a word.

So about half way through they started batting practice and the coach asked if anyone would be interested in helping out. So I hopped up and ran out to the mound and started pitching while the coach gave hitting instruction. Soon enough the asshole kid came up to the plate. Now I know he's only 6 years old, but there's no excuse for a kid poking a coach with the bat or running around like a maniac, so I decided enough was enough. The first two pitches went right down the middle of the plate. The third one.....god I'm sure this sounds much worse than it really was....the third one, I plunked him. I got him right between the numbers in the center of the back...definately not hard enough to hurt him..you know...for real....but enough to get his attention. I had a little smoke on it. Once he stopped crying and picked the bat back up he was fine...and much much more subdued.

Other than doting over the kid, the parents didn't say a word. I mean if they're scared of their kid, what the hell are they going to do to me. I gave it the old, " oh snap, that one got away from me." I don't know if anyone bought it, but I'm pretty sure that I did see a little twinkle in the coaches eye.

Listen I believe that there's such a thing as ADD or HDAD or HDTV or whatever. That being said, there's nothing wrong with every once in a while getting a kids attention with a little high heat. You never hear of Roger Clemens kids getting in trouble do you ?