I believe

NPR has a bit they do every Monday called " I believe". So every week, driving into work, I hope that I'm going to find some piece of inspiration worthy of them plagiarizing Martin Luther King. Out of all the submissions they must get every week, I hope that they'll choose something that inspires me to be a better person...to have a great week...or at the very least forget for a moment that it's Monday.

Instead I usually end up getting some whining middle-aged woman conflicted over the fact that she considers herself a feminist and at the same time enjoys being a mother. They also have into heavy rotation a second generation immigrant conflicted over assimilating into American culture while trying to identify with his parents. They should rename the bit " I believe I need a therapist.."

So out of respect to MLK and as a shining example of a man who really knows what he believe, I bring you Crash Davis mp3 or wav .

" Well I believe in the soul... the cock...the pussy... the small of a woman's back... the hangin' curveball... high fiber... good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap... I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Goodnight. "