new bar

So I'm trying out new bars in the neighborhood.

Actually not "in" the neighborhood because the only thing that I have "in" my neighborhood are cookie cutter houses with manicured lawns on half acre lots...filled with undersexed/overstressed women laying in bed worrying about shit like will the rest of the mothers approve of the cookies that she baked for the 2nd grade class party since they have imitation m&m's or should she have gone with the real thing....and men hiding in the basement with their flys undone, waiting for porn clips to get done buffering while at the same time listening for any footsteps from upstairs. But I digress.....

The point is the previously mention bar in the center of town has gone to shit. They overcharge, they underdeliver, the waitstaff is nasty, and the place is to loud and smokey. Worst of all they make a shitty manhatten....too much vermouth.

So anther two miles down the road there's another place that I haven't been to in years. Last night I gave them a test spin.

I walked in and the place was filled with Red Son fans - nice.... 1 point

Everyone in there was under 25 years old...and although rooting for the Sox, they were acting like Yankee fans - minus 1 point.

The had blackened chicken sandwiches - yum ! 1 point

One side TV had the hockey game on - alright ! another 1 point

The TV on the other side has some show about a some dude who's face caught on fire and had melted off ....... considering I was eating a blackened chicken sandwich - MINUS 1 giant point.

and no one could find a remote control to switch the channel - minus 2 more points.

It wasn't looking good.

I was considering walking out of the place right there and then, but the bartender chick climbed up on a stool, risking life and limb, and turned of "weekend at burn-ies" or whatever the hell was freaking me out. - so that earns however many points to get us to even.

So the tie breaker was going to have to be the true test of a bar's worth.

" I'll take a manhatten."

" A what ?" she asked/answered.

" A manhatten"

" ummm, I think I heard of those. We usually don't serve and fancy drinks. Let me get my drink book out and look that one up."

Now I'm no foo-foo fancy drink drinker. I mean, I figure that a manhatten is as common of a drink as you can get. Am I off the mark there ? The hierachy is beer, then shots, then your common mixers like rum and coke or 7 and 7, then it's manhattens and martinis....right ?

It's not like I asked her for a 'dusty bucket' or a 'flaming durango'....( I just made both of those names up btw).

Anyway, she had no idea. She said that beside the owner and one of the cooks I was probably the oldest person to come in the bar since she started working there two years ago...and that pretty much she serves beer, shots, red bull and vodka, and every once in a while...if someone brings in their girlfriend...a sea breeze.

After informing her that despite my great age I could still get errections.... and that there was no chance of her ever getting a tip.... I offered to teach her how to tend bar.

Oddly enough, she accepted.

So surprisingly I spent part of last night tending bar. I had em all drinking rob roys, martinis, and manhattens. When I left Big Poppy had hit a home run to put the Sox up in the bottom of the 8th, and everyone was solidly pickled, and I had found me a new home.

Mission accomplished.

And in case you were wondering, I did leave her a tip.