Monday, May 15, 2006

The Knob Creek Experiment

The new basement is coming together nicely. All the trim work is done, the rug is in, I have the poker table set up, and we recently got a new stainless fridge.

Since I had a poker game on Saturday, I figured I'd load up the fridge with beer and water....and since I enjoy a little nip now and again I decided to get a couple of bottles of booze. I mean, what the heck, a smooth sip of bourbon or a jack and coke now and again breaks up the monotony of beer.

Thus started the Knob Creek experiment.

Somehow or another over the course of the evening, I accidently drank the whole bottle.

I mean, Ron helped out with a couple of glasses but for the most part...and somehow mysteriously, the rest of the bottle...along with a couple of Yungling Lager Lights and a bag of nachos ended up in my belly.

You may have heard of the phrase 10 year flood plain or 50 year flood plain, where areas near streams and rivers are declared unbuildable because the area floods once every x number of years.

Sunday morning was broached the 5 year hangover plain. It was the worst one since the time I vomit 5 times on the way in to work, which was about 5 years ago. Although I have to say that it wasn't as bad as the time I 'sleepwalked' into the closet and urinated on my wifes shoes, which was about 10 years ago. In any case Sunday morning was terrible.

My only hope was to try and replace all my nutrients and minerals and flood my body with fluids. By noon Sunday here is what I ate:

- a meatball hogie
- a donut
- a bacon egg and cheese biscut
- a number one ( Big Mac) value meal ...but not supersized
- a gallon of gatorade
- 6 ibuprofin and 2 womens mega vitamins
- a bowl of raisin bran

I figured that my hangover would go away or I'd explode.

Ron aptly stated, " What ever doesn't kill you will only make you fatter."

Then again he also claimed that, " the end of slavery world wide put a real dent in quality architecture " so I'm not sure his judgement can be trusted totally.

Anyway, that didn't cure my hangover, so after lunch I added:
- a meat and potato burritto
- a cinnamon roll and glass of milk
and was starting to regain my balance when I finally found the cure
- A thing that was sort of a pizza, wrapped in taco, wrapped in a burritto thing from Taco Bell.

I washed that thing down with, of course, a Diet Pepsi, and the clouds began to lift.

At around 7:24 pm I started to feel 'normal'.

By 9:00 pm my ass went to defcon 4.

I won't go as far as to say that the cure is worse than the illness, but if anyone knows where I can get some asbestos toilet paper...I'm all ears.

Someday, maybe someday, I'll grow up....or maybe I'll just die trying.

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