oh my aching head

The logic behind " If I don't eat, then I can use those calories to drink beer" may not have been as solid as i though.

No Mrs. Flick last night as she went to pick up the boy from Grandma Flicks house. So after I put the girls to bed I lined up a handfull of Miller Lites and entered myself in to a rather expensive HORSE tournament. 85 guys...top 9 win. I was between 2nd and 10th for the first one hour and fourty minutes. Then some moron tripped and fell into a card and knocked me down to 35th. And pretty much that's all she wrote.

Another Miller Lite and I'd teach them !

I entered a second tourney...albiet a much cheaper one.. and pounded those knuckleheads. Ended up second...feeling like a real winner...until I noticed that it was 1 am and I was surrounded my a sea of empty cans.

5 am rolled around fast with the evil dog of filth panting and begging to go out. I put her and all her parasitic fungus out the front door and tried to figure out which way was up. As I stood there scratching my head and ass at the same time, she walked around the lawn, sniffed at a bunch of spots, then decided she didn't have to go. We walked back in the house, she trotted over to the middle of the living room floor and pissed herself a nice big puddle.

From 5:00 to 5:12 was spend drunkenly running around my house screaming and throwing shit trying to catch the fucking dog. I almost had her until I cracked my shin on the ottaman.

5:12 - 5:15 was spent sitting on the ottaman speaking in tongues.

5:15 - 5:25 was spent cleaning up dog piss...then I stumbled back upstairs and collapsed in a heap.

My next realization of consiousness was at 8:15 which sounds great except for me having to be at work at 8:00 and the kids over to the sitters.

From 8:15 - 9:00 was spent dressing the youngest girl in an outfit that would squarely fit in the male category of " that'll work" which is the famale category of " OMG how could you let her leave the house like that "....and yelling at Hot Gril to stop combing her hair. Maybe I'm crazy but I happen to think that the ratio 40 minutes of hair combing to 5 minutes of getting dress is excessive for an 8 year old girl. If I haven't mentioned it already...by the time she turns 13 I may have to institutional myself.

Anyway...tossed the girls into the car...over to the sitters...then off to work.

And here I sit.

Coffee....I implore you...coffee ...